-I've tried to move on consciously but he is in my dreams sometimes without me thinking of him and I've had relationships with others... I feel like I look for him in other people. Very strange special connection.
hi sorry for the late reply but I think there's a good chance you’re building this old first love up in your head. you two don’t know each other anymore, in all honesty. but if you feel that this connections is actually real, why not reach out to them? see who they are now? I do believe in true love and soulmates but I don’t think that we should hang on to those ideas so much that we romanticize our pasts.
there are plenty of people to meet in this world who can love you in ways that you always wanted and ways that you have never imagined. I think that we do grow strong and strange connections with people but a relationship will run its course and leave the connection with you. maybe this person was a soulmate for your child heart. I wrote a poem about this years ago:“i think that when a heart breaks it begins to shed its layers. slowly but surely, the heart molts. pieces fall away and it aches and becomes something new. i think you were the soul mate of my child heart, my dreaming heart. and the heart i have now does not know you but it thanks you for coming and going the way that you did, for allowing this heart to become a soft and strong one. it thanks you for leaving, for allowing someone to love me better.”
maybe you need to release this connection and allow yourself to be loved as you are now, not as who you were when you were a teenager. you have grown into many people since you were 14.
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