Dr. Andrew

My gf is not fat, but she's a bit chunky. She just bought a bikini for the spring that's not flattering. I'm not sure if I should say something or even how to do that. I'm not trying to fat shame, but ...

March 22, 2019

Only comment if she asks you, and then be VERY, VERY careful with what you say and how you say it. "How do I look?" is a scary question for a guy who wants to stay alive. :-)

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Instead of talking to his parents, our grandson came to us about advice with his girlfriend. Now our son and d-i-l are angry at us. Should we have directed him back to them?

March 22, 2019

It depends on your relationship with him, but most likely, yes, you should have explained to him that you are grandparents, not parents. It basically is a lack of respect for his parents.

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What's wrong with girls'/guys' night out after you're married? I just think it's fun but my husband thinks otherwise.

March 22, 2019

Some couples do that, and some don't. It depends on the "night out" and also depends on how both partners feel. Some people are not able to make the jump from "single" to "married" and get into difficulty.

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Is it possible to really truly love two people at once? I've been going out with this girl who says she's going out with this other guy and loves us both the same. I'm super pissed at this. Is it me?

March 22, 2019

Different strokes for different folks. That being said, sure, someone can truly love two people at once.

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Our daughter is 16 and wants to date. My wife says it's ok but IDK. Am I just being an overprotective father? We only have two daughters so I'm not sure if I'm living a double standard if we had a son.

March 22, 2019

It's a decision you and your wife need to make together. It also is very dependent on how responsible your daughter is. There are lots of factors to consider.

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Is it true that arranged marriages work out better? My culture has them but I don't like the idea.

March 22, 2019

It depends on your definition of "better." There is no evidence or data that says one is better than the other.

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This guy won't give me his last name. He says it's not time yet. I think he's hiding something. But he is such a nice guy and gentleman. What should I do?

March 22, 2019

Just simply explain that you can not go out with him or even hang out with him without his last name. Regardless of his reason, you are entitled to his last name.

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How do we handle this? Our daughter is 17 and wants her bf to sleep over. We said no. She came back with the fact we have no problem with her uncle, my brother who is 28, bringing his gf over and they sleep together. What do other parents do?

March 22, 2019

Very simple. Practice this line without an explanation- "Our house, our rules." You don't need to defend your parenting practices.

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I'm an identical twin. Both of us are interested in the same guy. How do you think we should handle that? What do other twins do?

March 15, 2019

The best advice is to ask other twins. When this has occurred with my patients (only 3x in almost 40 years), they flip a coin.

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My gf keeps saying she wants to lose weight but she keeps ordering food that is high in calories when we go out. I don't think I should be responsible for her weight issues but I also don't want to be an enabler. Do I say something to her or what?

March 15, 2019

No, you don't say anything now. You've already said what you need to. She, and she alone, is responsible for herself. You are not an enabler unless you order things that are not healthy.

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My husband is a really good cook. When people come over they question why I'm not in the kitchen with him. IDK what to say.

March 15, 2019

You simply have to say that while you do cook, your husband is more like a chef, and it's perfectly fine with you that he uses his skills

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I found out my father is not really my father. Me and my bf did a genetic test thing. Now he wants to break up with me because of my genes. I don't know how to handle it. It's very upsetting.

March 15, 2019

Wow! It has nothing to do with you. It's about your bf's prejudices. There's the real problem. I say dump the chump.

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My bf says he's taking Special K because of depression. It makes no sense to me why he would take this. What's the real story here?

March 15, 2019

There is good research that has been done on ketamine. It shows that ketamine has been very effective for some people in treating depression that does not respond to other medications.

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Should couples be allowed to ask each other about prior sexual partners?

March 15, 2019

It really depends on the couple and the purpose for asking. If it's for health reasons, it should be discussed. If it's for other snooping reasons, then no.

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My bf is perfect except he makes what I consider racist comments. He tells me I have no sense of humor. How should I handle this?

March 15, 2019

Racist humor is just that - racist. It's not funny to the person about whom the "joke" is made. Many don't realize how hurtful, disrespectful and insulting "jokes" can be.

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My gf was adopted. People tell me it would not be good to marry and have children because she does not know her genetics. Is that something I should worry about?

March 15, 2019

That's an absurd ignorant comment from whomever said that to you. Especially now, you can get genetics easily. Lots of people who were adopted as children get married and are very successful and good parents.

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I am 4 inches taller than my bf. Why do people think it's ok to criticize me for dating him? I think they should STFU.

March 08, 2019

That's exactly what I think, too!!

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My parents divorced when I was 6. They get along ok. My bf thinks we should sit down with them together before we get married to straighten out any issues. Do you think this is a good idea?

March 08, 2019

I think it's an EXCELLENT idea. Learn from their mistakes.

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My gf wants to be identified as non binary. I'm not sure how I feel about that. What do others think? Weird.

March 08, 2019

It doesn't make any difference what others think, only you. If you're not comfortable, move on. If you are, respect her way of identifying herself. Simple

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My brother was arrested for drugs ... again. My parents bail him out but my bf says they should just leave him in jail. It's getting in the way of our relationship but IDK what to do.

March 08, 2019

Your bf is right. All they are doing by keep bailing him out is pushing back his recovery. Listen to him

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I'm 22 and this girl is 20. Do you think it's ok to ask her to go away with me for a weekend? We've gone out twice before.

March 08, 2019

Sure. If she's not comfortable, she'll say no.

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How do you have a condom discussion with a guy?

March 08, 2019

Very simply. "I would like you to use a condom." That should be all you have to say.

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My gf's parents are evangelicals. I don't judge but they do. I'm tired of hearing how I should be. What do I do?

March 08, 2019

Just remain above it. As long as she's going with you, that's all that counts. Just smile. It goes a long way to show your class.

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My bf is from a different culture. My parents are giving me a hard time about that. I want to be respectful to them, but it's really getting in the way of our relationship. Any suggestions?

March 08, 2019

Ultimately, you are going to have to make a choice. In the meantime, all you can do is to sit with them (both of you), and explain how much in love the two of you are. Let them meet and interact with him.

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My bf says that humans are not designed for monogamous relationships. Is he just trying to mansplain why he cheated or is there science behind this?

March 01, 2019

While there actually is some evidence (sketchy), it's just an excuse. Don't buy it. Dump the chump.

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