I asked my bf to do me a favor and pick up a box of tampons when he went to the market. He said he couldn't do that. Really?? Is this something most guys have trouble with? Wow. Talk about backward thinking. Am I being too harsh here?

May 04, 2018

You are not being too harsh, but, yes, a lot of guys have trouble with this. If a guy has a woman as a significant other, he should be informed and used to a menstrual cycle. It's a matter of education. Guys generally are not taught about it, so they are clueless.

My gf is really good looking. I know she's with me so why does it freak me out when guys look at her. I know she knows they do but she doesn't pay any attention. How do I get past the insecurity?

May 04, 2018

Well, at least you know why. It's the insecurity, so the real question is - why are you so insecure if she's with you. You need some professional help to address the insecurity, since I'm sure this is not the only issue affected.

What is the best time of year to propose to my girlfriend? Some people tell me it should be in the spring.

April 27, 2018

The best time is whenever you both are ready. Some say springtime, but it occurs all year long. Enjoy.

Me and this other girls want to swap boyfriends. We both think this is the best thing. We are both seniors in high school. We are worried that some people will think this is kinky. Is it?

April 27, 2018

It's certainly not the norm, but I wouldn't label it kinky. Hey, whatever is okay with the four of you (assuming the guys are all in) is just fine. Let 'em talk. Gives them something to gossip about. Just keep smiling.

How do other parents handle two different religions in the family? We don't want to confuse any kids we may have.

April 27, 2018

This is absolutely a topic that should be discussed prior to beginning a family. Sometimes families celebrate the holidays of both religions, while sometimes the parents will agree to one of the religions. I've also had families split up as a result of never resolving religious issues prior to beginning a family. Communication is the key.

How do I get my bf to have better manners? I've tried telling him that people will judge him on this but he says he don't care. It matters to me.

April 27, 2018

You are looking at the tip of the iceberg of problems with him. You can try explaining that what others think of him matters to you because you love him and want people to see him as you do. If he doesn't get it, he'll continue to rebel. Manners do matter. People judge others all the time, and people without manners are judged as less intelligent.

Me and this other girls are really good friends. We are not romantically involved but other kids have labeled us as lesbians. Do we try to counter this or what?

April 27, 2018

Don't say anything at all. Your relationship is no one's business but yours, regardless of whether it is a platonic relationship or otherwise. If you try to counter, it will only bring more questions and attention to the matter. Haters gonna hate.

How do we get our daughter to see she is making a huge mistake with the guy she's going with? It has nothing to do with social status or anything like that. We have just become aware of how he has treated some other women.

April 27, 2018

You need to have concrete information. If you don't, she will probably go in the exact opposite direction you think is good. Even if you need to hire a PI, don't go to your daughter without being absolutely sure about what you want to say.

I want my bf to go to counseling just to make sure we are on the same page. He says it's a waste of time. Do I just let it go? He hasn't done anything to make me wonder but I just think it's a good idea.

April 27, 2018

As a psychologist whose specialties include relationship counseling, I assure you it is NOT a waste of time. If everything is really good, couples counseling will only validate that. If there's something amiss, that will come to the surface, too. Don't give in. You are correct.

I love my bf. I can't stand his parents. Now what?

April 27, 2018

Keep in mind that unless parents have been completely removed from the picture, your bf is not the only person you are dating. Also, keep in mind that when you marry someone, you marry their family. Caveat Emptor. Buyer beware. So, you'll need to make some choices.

My husband was killed by a drunk driver two years ago. We were married for five years. I don't know if I'll ever be able to be with anyone else. I feel it would be disloyal to him. What do others do?

April 20, 2018

My cousin had the best saying when I lost my wife of 48 years. "There is a giant gaping hole in your heart that will never close, but after a while you'll get used to the draft of air coming through it." Life goes on. The best suggestion I can give you is to seek out a grief group. It will help you get through and move on with the rest of your life. You are young enough to have a good "chapter 2" in your life.

My gf broke up with me and I'm devastated. I've been crying for almost two weeks. I don't know how to get past this. We are both seniors in high school. She says she does not want to go away to college with "attachments." What do I do?

April 20, 2018

Neil Sedaka had a song originally recorded in 1962 called "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do." Yours is not an unusual story. It will take time, but eventually you will realize it's really over. The scars of the breakup will always remain. If your grief persists, get some professional help.

My girlfriend's father is a gun toting, right wing nut job. He really sets me off. I've talked to my gf about this but she just says no one in the family pays any attention to him. Do I just confront him myself?

April 20, 2018

He keeps doing it because, in your words, no one has put a stop to it. The whole family just enables the behavior. You trying to address him as an outsider won't work. He'll probably tell you to get the hell out of his house if you try to talk with him about it. Tell your gf that you just can't be around him. It may cost you the relationship, but you will at least be taking a strong position.

I screamed my head off in the middle of the night because my bf left the toilet seat up and when I got up to pee I fell in. I've talked with him before but he keeps doing it. Nothing seems to get through.

April 20, 2018

I'm guessing that this is not the only thing he does that is inconsiderate. Unless he changes his behavior, this is probably an indicator of your future. At least he puts the seat up as opposed to the guys who pee all over the seat and don't clean it up. Try posting a sign on the toilet.

I am a 6 foot female and my boyfriend is about 5'9". I don't know what to say to people when they ask why I'm not with someone taller. I'd like to say it's none of their f-ing business, but that's not my style.

April 20, 2018

Take the higher ground and just tell them that his height is not important to you because he's such a wonderful person. Just keep smiling, and don't say another word. Sometimes silence is the best form of communication.

I wrongly accused my bf of cheating on me with another girl. I found out the rumor started with another person we know who was mad at him. I feel like an idiot. I don't know how to begin to repair the relationship. He said he can't be with me anymore.

April 20, 2018

I hope lesson learned. It sounds like the damage your reaction did might be beyond repair. All you can do is apologize. It's up to him as to whether or not he accepts it. Obviously, in the future get your facts before you react.

My husband is a massive man. What he has done now is to try to be the least intimidating person around. He lets people walk all over him. I've tried to get him to find middle ground but he doesn't. How can I help him?

April 20, 2018

Somewhere in his background someone told him he was intimidating and it really bothered him. He's trying to compensate. You can either help him directly by offering observations on different ways to be forceful without necessarily being intimidating. If that doesn't work, he might try professional help.

My bf's father is an "expert" on everything! It's really annoying. My bf jus shines it on, but I can't seem to let go. What do I do? I want to tell him he's full of crap.

April 20, 2018

You are not going to accomplish anything except alienating everyone. This blowhard has been allowed to get away with it for probably longer than you've been alive. Unless it directly affects you, or it's factually incorrect, put your attention somewhere else.

I may be old fashioned but I don't kiss on the first date. My friends tell me I'm being too rigid. Am I?

April 13, 2018

It doesn't make any difference what label they put on it. If those are your standards, and you are perfectly comfortable with them, don't give them up. You'll regret it. You are the best judge of what's comfortable for you.

What exactly is a pansexual?

April 13, 2018

People who call themselves pansexual feel they are not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.

Me and this girl have been going out for three months. This may sound crazy but she's pressuring me to sleep with her and I'm not ready. My guy friends want to know what's wrong with me. I don't think there is but IDK.

April 13, 2018

Don't fall into the trap of male mentality regarding getting laid. You should NOT sleep with someone unless you want to, and it doesn't make any difference if you are male or female. There's nothing wrong with you.

I am in a threesome with two other girls. We are perfectly happy but we get really nasty remarks from people. Is there an appropriate response when someone criticizes us?

April 13, 2018

There are several responses, but it depends on which fit you the best. You could say, "I'm sorry but I don't remember asking you for your opinion about our relationship," or you could just not say a word, maintain eye contact, and smile. It often gets the job done without having to do anything else.

My grandmother continually lectures me and my gf about what is "proper." I want to be respectful but it's getting to a point where we don't want to be around her. She's a very important person in my life so it's important I handle it well. My gf is getting to the point where she said we may have t

April 13, 2018

Tell your grandmother that you love her very much, but you would appreciate her not lecturing you. As long as you are respectful, you are certainly entitled to speak up. If your gf is comfortable, do it together.

There's this guy I really like at school. The problem is I don't even think he knows I exist. I'm not sure how to get his attention. I don't want to seem like a stalker. Do I just go up to him or what?

April 13, 2018

If the context is right, you can certainly go up and introduce yourself. That's not stalking. It's just being friendly. Do some homework and find out what he's interested in so you have something to discuss. Be a friend first and then see what happens.

My father is an alcoholic. My bf does not realize that when he drinks even one drink it triggers me off. I apologize but the pattern continues. I don't want to lose my bf. I need some strategies please.

April 13, 2018

The best advice I can give you is to attend Alanon. They are people who have been through what you are experiencing. Obviously, you are projecting the issues with your father onto your bf. You already know this is not fair. Help yourself by letting others with experience help you.

Dr. Andrew

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