Me and my bf did your Love Shopping List. We both scored high. But I'm just worried about our relationship all the time. Can two people score high and no be right for each other? I don't want to make a mistake – again.

February 09, 2018

Our app is designed to empower you to make better relationship choices, not to make the choices for you. It is just a tool to help you. If you were both honest, it's unlikely that you are not compatible. That doesn't mean you are an automatic match. Take your time and get to know each other better. That way you'll have more information with which to make your decision.

I'm 23. I've started dating this really nice guy. I have a 3 year old son. When to I tell this guy about my son? I don't want to scare him off, but I do want to be honest with him. We've had 3 dates. My friends say not to say anything yet. IDK.

February 09, 2018

I always tell people that TMI on the first or second date is a real turn off. I would say that this would be a good time to tell him since you don't want to come across as hiding this from him or leading him on. He is going to have to understand that he is dating both of you. If that works for him, then you are good to go. If not, it's better that you break things off now rather than later.

I don't know what to do. I am 18 and a senior in school. My math teacher is 23. I'm obsessed with him. I want him to ask me out. Since I'm an adult, is there any problem? I don't want to do anything that would get him in trouble.

February 09, 2018

Yes, there's a huge problem. You could cause him to lose his job and have his teaching credential revoked (assuming he has one). It is quite common for students to have a crush on their teachers. If you care about him as much as you say, stay away from him until you are out of high school. Otherwise you both could wind up getting hurt.

We've been married for three years and have never had any problems but this makes me wonder. Do you think I'm being paranoid. He hasn't tried to hide it from me. He knows I look over the bills. What do I do?

February 02, 2018

This could go either way. You can certainly ask why the same place several times in a month. As you state, he knows you're going to see everything, so he's not trying to hide anything. On the down side, maybe he doesn't care whether you know or not. Time for a heart-to-heart discussion to clear the air. If you think you need it, get professional help with this.

But she says that they would probably cover for me. I don't know what else to do. I've tried just calling her and talking for an hour or so, but sometimes it doesn't work because I'm in a different time zone. Unfortunately, I'm the victim of the actions of many of my teammates. How do I convince her

February 02, 2018

Most likely there are two forces at play- her low self-esteem and her trust issues somewhere from the past. All you can do is exactly what you have been doing. If that isn't good enough for her, you should probably move on. Couples' counseling might help.

What do you think, in which movie perfect romantic relationships exist?

February 02, 2018

There's always drama in relationships. Relationships are never perfect. Movies mirror real life but are also written to tell highly dramatic stories so as to be emotional and award winning.

I am a college athlete. When we go on road trips a lot of the other guys do one night hook ups. I've never done that and won't. My gf has questioned me several times. I always tell her to ask my teammates and they will tell her I'm asleep in my room by 9.

February 02, 2018

Most likely there are two forces at play- her low self-esteem and her trust issues somewhere from the past. All you can do is exactly what you have been doing. If that isn't good enough for her, you should probably move on. Couples' counseling might help.

I got pregnant when I was 15. I'm now 30. Me and my daughter look like sisters. I look about eight years younger than I am and she looks about eight years older than she is. When we go out together, which is often, we get hit on together. This freaks her out. I think it's funny.

February 02, 2018

Good for you that you two are close and that you look young. Tell her she's got good genes. This is amusing for you, but keep in mind she is a vulnerable teenager with a teenage brain. Obviously, the two of you are very close. Listen to her feelings and ask her how she'd like to handle a similar situation in the future. Validate her feelings. Remember, you are a parent first and maybe a bff second.

I was going over our credit card statements and recently saw that my husband had been at the same coffee shop a number of times last month. I asked him what was up with that and he got very defensive. THAT causes me to have doubts.

February 02, 2018

This could go either way. You can certainly ask why the same place several times in a month. As you state, he knows you're going to see everything, so he's not trying to hide anything. On the down side, maybe he doesn't care whether you know or not. Time for a heart-to-heart discussion to clear the air. If you think you need it, get professional help with this.

Me and my bf been going together for almost two years. All of a sudden he tells me he thinks I should get a boob job. I cried for two days I was so hurt. I'm average size so I don't know what his problem is. I was thinking about doing it just for him but IDK.

February 02, 2018

My first reaction is to tell him to accept you as you are, or he can go %@#! himself. This is not someone who appreciates you for who you are. You could certainly tell him you'd be happy to get a boob job if he gets a penis job. Wait until you see the look on his face. The bottom line is that he views you very differently than you view him. Don't allow anyone to talk to you that way.

I'm having trouble deciding between two women I've been dating. I actually don't like dating two women. I prefer a monogamous relationship as long as it lasts. But I'm intrigued by both of them. They both know the other exists. What do I do? I don't want to hurt either of them.

February 02, 2018

At this point one of them is going to wind up very disappointed no matter how well you handle it. I would suggest using our app, Love Shopping List, to help you figure out which one is best suited for you. It will at least give you a place to start. Once you decide, be a kind person and sit down face-to-face with the other woman. Don't do it in an email or text. Expect to get crap back, but don't react. Just listen and then move on.

We are very good friends with another couple who happen to be two women. My husband gets weird looks when we all go out to dinner together. Someone even said to him "nice harem." He didn't say anything but I could see he was upset. I asked the idiot why he would make such a comment.

February 02, 2018

People make assumptions based on ignorance and prejudice. Here's a nice way to handle something like that. "We are just two couples enjoying a nice evening together. May I answer any questions for you?" I guarantee the person will not know what to do with that. You will have come across as the way classier person.

We are a biracial couple. I'm half black and white and my hubby is white. We were at a gathering and some jerk called me a half breed. Before I could respond my husband launched at him and knocked the guy to the ground. I understand he was protecting me but I'm against violence.

February 02, 2018

Your husband was being protective. I'm sure this is not the first racial prejudice the two of you have encountered, but that term is incredibly hurtful. I'm always in favor of trying to educate people, but sometimes the rational logical mind is overridden by a desire to protect those we love. Without judging his actions, talk together about ways to handle a future situations in a way you both see as productive. Clearly, he will not allow anyone to hurt you and get away with it. Even though I'm a trained professional, a male who insulted my wife wound up fully clothed in a swimming pool. I have no regrets!

My gf is mad at me. I bought her flowers and totally forgot there is one kind that she is allergic to. I've apologized, but it's been a couple of days and she's still pissed. What else can I do?

February 02, 2018

People without allergies do not realized the toll it takes on a person, especially if the allergy is severe. You certainly didn’t do this intentionally, but I would make a big “note to self” for the future. Give her a few more days. The allergic reaction may have thrown every aspect of her body off kilter. Be patient. I would also read up on her particular type of allergy so you have a better understanding.

My dad started dating this girl who is younger than I am. I've tried talking with him but he just tells me that I'm his daughter not his therapist. That pisses me off. He's 52 and she's 25. I try not to judge but it's clear she's after his money. He's blind to it. Is there a way I can help him

January 26, 2018

He is correct that you are not his therapist, but you are his daughter and obviously care deeply about him. Doing the finger wagging and scolding will not work. It will only make him listen less. Ask him if the two of you can go to a professional therapist together to discuss the issue. If he agrees, be objective in the session. Present facts, and don't judge. If he does not agree, there's really not a lot you can do except to keep your boundaries clear, meaning don't mention it to him, and don't let him talk to you about her. He'll only try to justify what he's doing.

Me and this guy met online. Now we're actually seeing each other. I like him but I'm also kind of pissed that he lied about some stuff he had put online. I don't want to keep resenting him but I haven't said anything yet. Should I say anything at all. Nothing is really big. It's just the idea..

January 26, 2018

Many people put either exaggerations and/or falsehoods online. That doesn't make it right, but it does happen. My problem with that is your problem. I don't trust those people. If they are willing to not be open and upfront, then can you fully trust them moving forward. You have some soul searching to do. Trust is a HUGE issue in relationships. He may have crossed the line Try talking with him about your concerns. After talking, you'll know what to do.

My mother has begun dating again. This is after her third divorce. Obviously she makes shitty choices in men. I'm only 16 but I can already see the pattern repeating itself. I've tried talking with her but she says I'm not old enough to understand. Is there anything I can say or do that will help

January 26, 2018

Let's start with this. You are NOT nor should you be your mother's therapist. You need help yourself so that you don't have to carry this around with you. Yes, your mother needs professional help, but it sound like she "has all the answers." Nagging her will only worsen the relationship between the two of you. I'll assume she tries to solicit your opinion, and then when you give it, she argues with you. Typical pattern. Don't take the bait. Keep your boundaries clear. "Mom, I'm your daughter, not your therapist." I suggest you see a therapist if you want to discuss your dating."

We are a lesbian couple. We are friends with a gay couple. All of us want to be parents. You know where I'm going with this. What do we do about this? It know it's a kind of weird situation. Help!! Yes, we've all talked through the options.

January 26, 2018

You can talk with a fertility specialist or you can take the position of "whatever between consenting adults." There is no right or wrong answer to how you become parents. It comes down to what works best for the four of you. Another suggestion would be to talk with your local LGBTQ organization. You are not the only couples with the dilemma.

I am a single mom and have gone back to dating. My problem is that I have a young daughter with special needs. I don't know whether to say anything on the first date or not. I don't want to hide it but I also don't want to overwhelm a guy. How do other's handle it? I really need to know.

January 26, 2018

I don't think you need to reveal everything on the first date. You are not hiding anything. You just don't want to be one of those people who has to give their whole life's story on the first date. It turns people off very quickly. Let it come up when the timing is appropriate. You'll know when.

This girl at school started some shit about me at our high school. I think it's because of my relationship with my gf and the girl was jealous. Now my gf has begun to question me about the lies this girl is spreading. It drives me nuts. What do I do?

January 26, 2018

Why don't the two of you talk things over and then ask this girl to sit down and talk with both of you together. You will be amazed at what will be revealed when you have them both in the same room. You'll get to the bottom quickly.

How do I handle my bf staring at other women? It drives me up a wall. I've talked to him about it but he just blows me off. He says there is nothing wrong looking at a good looking person male or female and he would not be upset if I did it. He tells me that he's with me and that should be the re

January 26, 2018

There is nothing wrong with admiring someone whose looks are aesthetically pleasing. It doesn't mean that he's interested in anyone else. Males and females can both admire the looks of others without acting on any impulses. My wife used to point out good looking females. Try that. It will relax both of you.

My kids do not like my new husband. He has not done anything negative. In fact I think he's been great to them. He doesn't try to take the place of their father. I don't know what to do.

January 26, 2018

Your kids are probably conflicted about how to handle him. That's not unusual. Depending on how old they are, you can do a family meeting to discuss the issues. This would probably clear a lot of the air. It may take several family meetings to get it all out and resolved. Just be patient.

I love my bf but he plays golf like three times a week. At first I was ok with it, but now it's taking up way too much of our time together. He just says he likes to play. And, no, I don't want to play, so what do I do?

January 19, 2018

Don’t give up the idea of learning to play. It would be a good compromise. Explain to him how it makes you feel and you want more time with him. The compromise means you play golf with him every other week, and he limits his golf playing to once or twice a week. That way you both win.

My girlfriend moved away like across the country away. I am so bummed out I can't even imagine dating anybody else. How do other people get past this? I cry a lot.

January 19, 2018

You are going through the grieving process. You have suffered a loss. Your relationship was like a tree that grew, and now it’s been ripped out of the ground. It hurts. Time will create distance, but pain, while diminishing somewhat, will still remain. We all go through the same process when we lose someone, whether it be by death or leaving.

How do I get past being paranoid? Other guys keep telling me how lucky I am because she is so good looking. I should feel good but all it does is make me worry. She has to know that guys look at her but when I try to talk to her she just says I'm being silly.

January 19, 2018

You have self-esteem issues and that’s why you are paranoid. Keep in mind that she is with you. That should be evidence enough of where her head is. Don’t let your paranoia ruin your relationship. Be proud that other guys look at her.

Dr. Andrew

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