I really like this girl at work. She beautiful, single, intelligent, etc. Here’s the problem. She’s my boss. There’s nothing in the company regs that keeps employees from dating so that’s not an issue. What do I do?

November 20, 2015

She may feel uncomfortable because as your boss she is subject to the same rules regarding sexual harassment as a male boss. If you are comfortable, you could certainly start by asking her if she'd like to grab a bite of lunch or whatever. You will just have to see if she reciprocates. Since there are no company rules to violate, you just need to use good judgement in a VERY slow approach.

Whenever our uncle (he’s really mine) comes over he gets really drunk and obnoxious. My husband says it’s up to me as to what I want to do. I’ve talked to my mom (it’s her brother) but she just says I have to talk to him. I don’t think it’s my job but nobody is doing anything. How should I handl

November 20, 2015

First, your husband is trying to sensitive to the fact that it's really YOUR uncle. It sounds like you want someone else to take care of the problem for you. It's your place. You need to begin to stand up for yourself. "Uncle, we really want you to come over. However, when you come over and get drunk, it's not something that fits in with our values. As much as we want to include you in family events, if you are going to drink excessively, we would ask you not to do it at our place. If you feel you need help, we can gather the family to help you."

Here’s my problem. I love everything about my boyfriend except that I always have to initiate conversations or texts or emails. He’s good about everything else. It makes me feel like I’m not his priority. Am I being too needy?

November 20, 2015

Many males are not particularly expressive with their words. It's not that you are being too needy. It's that your communication styles are different. Generally, males show affection by doing rather than saying. Females generally do both. There are certainly exceptions, but it sound like your relationship is not one of the exceptions. Just be patient with him since he is "good about everything else."

My bf just got arrested for pot. I’ve been warning him for awhile. I’m so mad I could scream. My problem is that I really love him. My friends say I should dump him but I’m not sure that’s what I want to do.. I’m confused.

November 20, 2015

First decide if you love him or just love being in love. Clearly, he has no respect for your opinion since he hasn't heeded your warnings. Ask yourself this question. Do you really want to be the parent of a rebellious teenager? Your friends have your best interest at heart. They evidently can see clearly what you can't or won't. Time to move on.

Me and my gf have been going together for 2 years. We want to get married but I’m scared and have been putting it off. Do you have any suggestions so I can move forward?

November 20, 2015

Getting married is a huge move and one of the most important in any person's life. It is perfectly normal to feel anxious and scared. There would be a serious question in my mind if you were not, since the move has such a major impact on your life. Unless there have been major obstacles in your relationship, you are just going to have to take a leap of faith and believe in yourself and your relationship with your gf. Don't shy away from the excitement. You will regret it. Live in the moment and enjoy it.

My bf swears up and down he hasn’t cheated on me. My bff told me he did. I don’t know who to believe and I’m really confused. I know I’m going to lose one of them. What do I do?

November 13, 2015

I would take a step back and wait. Is your bf trustworthy? Has he ever done anything to cause you not to trust him in the past? Does your bff have an agenda? Is she upset at your bf for some reason and is trying to get back at him and use you? If you wait long enough, the truth will come out. Obviously, one of them is not telling the truth, so there is no way to know for sure.

My uncle has been way more important to me than my dad. He has been the most important male figure in my life. I would much prefer that he walk me down the aisle for my wedding but I don’t want to shut down the relationship with my dad. Is it okay to have two men walk the bride down the aisle?

November 13, 2015

It's your wedding. You should feel good about doing what YOU want to do, not necessarily what others think you should do. You don't say anything about your mom, so I'm not sure if she's in the picture. There is nothing to say you can't have your dad and your uncle walk you down the aisle. It's a very nice and thoughtful gesture.

My husband and me just got married. People are already putting pressure on us to get pregnant. Why do they do that? What is something to say so they will shut up?

November 13, 2015

People are excited for you. Most people getting married think of raising a family, but may have different timelines. They are not saying it to put pressure on you (Okay, maybe your parents want to be grandparents). Just smile and tell them, " That certainly is in our future plans."

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This girl dissed me on FB. She said things that weren’t true about another girl and me going out. If I don’t respond will everyone think that it’s true? I don’t want to get into a FB war..

November 13, 2015

It takes two to battle. If you don't want to get into a battle, don't respond. Most people today realize people say all kinds of crap on social media. Those who know you well will believe you, and those who want to support her will believe her. You don't always need to defend yourself. If you really feel you need to post, the only thing you should say is something like, "It's too bad you have to make up things to hurt someone else in order for you to feel good about yourself." After that just don't engage.

Me and my gf are going to have an engagement party. We sent out really nice evites. My aunt says she is not coming unless we send her a “real” invitation. I don’t care if she comes or not but my gf says if it makes my aunt happy just send out one card. No biggie. What should we do?

November 13, 2015

It depends on how much you value your relationship with your aunt. If all it takes is a "real" card to make her feel good, then you have to think about that. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
You have a wise gf.

Every time my gf comes over our house she spends more time with my mom than with me.. At first I thought this was cute but now its starting to bug me. How do I handle this without upsetting two females at once?

November 13, 2015

Consider yourself VERY lucky. The fact that your gf and your mom get along so well is a huge plus for your relationship. Stop being a whiny, needy little boy. I'm sue you get plenty of attention from your gf. In a traditional relationship when the female gets along really well with the male's mother, things tend to work so much better. My wife and my mother were very close. When I "misbehaved," my wife would call my mother for support, and the two of them would gang up on me. :-)

I’m 30 and this guy is 45. Is that too big an age difference for things to work?

November 13, 2015

It's not about the age. It's about the maturity. Since it's 15 years, if you had said 16 and 31, I would have said it was not only not going to work but not appropriate. As we age, the age difference becomes less relevant. You do have to consider what the future would look like, but I know 60 year olds who are 40, and I know 40 year olds who are 70. The most important factor is your commitment to each other.

I can’t stop crying over losing my bf to another girl. My friends tell me that he’s just a jerk but I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me. How do other people get through something like this?

November 13, 2015

When one person of a couple is rejected by the other, it is a loss, so there is sadness and grief. You also are probably feeling betrayed in some way. You won't forget in time, but hopefully you will learn something from this experience. No one likes to be rejected. It hurts. Your friends are just trying to make you feel better by telling you he's a jerk, but listen to them. Maybe he was and is. Breaking up is hard to do. It was even the title of a song nearly half a century ago.

I wanted to know if you would advise me in asking this girl out in person or over FaceBook?

November 06, 2015

I can certainly help you with that. you can direct message me, if you like

Im not sure how this girl got a text that looks like its from me but she did. It was not nice. I don’t do things like that. How can I convince her it wasn’t from me? Aren’t there ways to prove it?

November 06, 2015

Yes, there are ways to prove it, but it's time consuming and can be costly. I would meet with her and explain exactly what you have stated here, that you don't do things like that. I can assure you, it is relatively easy to pretend you are someone else. I have had several patients have that happen to them. In most cases it was someone trying to get even with them for something stupid.

Me and my gf broke up about 3 weeks ago. I have not been able to get over being super depressed. It was mutual and not nasty. Now I have huge regrets. I want her back but don’t know what to do. Help!!

November 06, 2015

Relationships are a two-way street. You said it was a mutual decision. You are just going to learn from your actions and lick your wounds. You can try talking to her and asking her if she is having a hard time, too, but she may have already moved on in which case so should you.

I’m ready to have sex with my bf but I won’t until he gets tested first. He says I’m being paranoid. I told him its not up for discussion. We have some hot arguments over it. Any suggestions?

November 06, 2015

Hold your ground!! You are being very smart and making an excellent decision. You are no being paranoid. As the saying goes, when you go to bed with someone, you are also going to bed with everyone they've been with. I always advise couples who have had other sexual partners to both get tested and share the results. That way there are no trust issues that come up.

How do I stop this girl from texting me? I said hello once to her in between classes and now I get at least 5 texts a day. She must have gotten my number from someone because I didn’t give it to her. Sooooooo annoying!

November 06, 2015

If you don't know it already, you can block her texts. If you don't know how to do that, ask one of your techie friends for help. Sometimes that's the only way.

There’s this guy in my art class that I think I really like. He barely notices me even though I’ve gone up to talk with him. How can I get him to pay more attention to me without seeming needy.

November 06, 2015

Do a little research and find out what he's really interested in, then study it for a day or two. The next time you are in class, start a discussion around what he likes. Many of us guys are really easy to fool that way, so have some fun with it.

My gf is really good looking which I like. Here’s my problem. She is so good looking that guys stare at her all the time. She doesn’t pay attention but it drives me nuts. How do I stop letting it bother me?

November 06, 2015

If one is secure in a relationship, having others look at her wouldn't bother the person. It's only when a person feels insecure and threatened does having other look at her become a self-made problem. You need to accept that she is with you and pays little or no attention to the stares. if you become the jealous lover, you may find yourself without a gf.

My aunt and uncle have raised me since my parents split and really haven’t been there for me. I’m getting married. My parents now want to walk me down the aisle but I want it to be my aunt and uncle. My parents were never really parents. Am I wrong?

November 06, 2015

The wedding belongs to the two of you. You are entitled to have the people who loved you the most and mean the most to you to walk you down the aisle. You can certainly have your parents come down the aisle as well, IF you choose to do so. They weren't there for you when you needed them, and there are consequences for that. If the relationship with them is repairable, you could have all four of them walk you, but ONLY if you choose to do that. So sorry you are having this stupidity at such a beautiful time in your life. Blessings.

My bf’s younger bro comes to visit us a lot. He NEVER helps with anything and leaves his crap all over. I’ve asked my bf to say something but he won’t. I’m ready to unload on him but before I do I wanted to check with you.

November 06, 2015

Since the place is both of yours, you have just as much right to stick up for yourself as your bf, even if it's his brother. You can explain to his brother that while you enjoy having him visit, it would be much appreciated if he would pitch in and clean up after himself. He needs to understand what being a guest is about, not what being entitled is about.

@pius_monageng : "What's the best way to stop disappointing your partner rather your 1st lady?"

October 30, 2015

At the beginning until both of you know each other, I always suggest just coming out and asking what someone likes. People have different preferences, and to each her/his own. Let her know that you are open for whatever is pleasing to her, and she should do the same for you.

I had my 1st sexual experience the other day and it ended with a "happy ending" however I couldn't "complete." I was obviously embarrassed but the woman I was with reassured me that it was simply because I was too nervous and needed to relax. is there any truth to what she said or should I see a dr

October 30, 2015

She is absolutely correct. Unless there is something medically wrong with you, you had a case of performance anxiety. It's especially true because this was your first time. It happens. It sounds like she is being incredibly sensitive and supportive, which is wonderful. Try to relax more next time. Don't be so focused on the outcome. Just enjoy the moment.

2x already I've seen my friends boyfriend pick up and leave with another girl (who happens to sleep around quite a bit). I want to tell her what's going on but I feel like she'll think I'm lying (I wanted to go out w/ her back in the day). Should I tell her, or is that for her to find out on her own

October 30, 2015

I always ask what you would like somebody to do if they had that information. Would you want to know? Most people would. As far a not believing you, this is 2015. Take out your cell phone and show her. The other side of this answer is that some might say it's really none of your business. Personally, I think that friends don't let friends get screwed over. That's what we have friends for

Dr. Andrew

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