I don’t want my real dad coming to my wedding. He has never been there for me. I want my stepdad and mom to walk me down the aisle. My bf is worried it could cause a family fight. Do I invite him just because?

August 07, 2015

As the bride you get to choose who you want walking you down the aisle. As far as an invitation, it's usually best to be surrounded by family and those you love. Remember that you get to choose your friends, but your family is another story. They come with all the baggage. Unless he is likely to make a scene, you just may want to send out an invitation in the name of charity because you are the bigger person.

Do you think a "Three's Company" situation will work out if its not platonic between us all?

August 07, 2015

Definitely will make it awkward if not now, eventually. You don't say there is one couple plus another person. You say its "not platonic between us all" which leads me to believe there is a menage et trois (a threesome). Whatever floats your boat among consenting adults.

Liked by: Destini Keene

We are a young couple. Whenever this other couple wants to get together its always at our apartment but they never bring anything. My husband thinks we should just let it go but it really upsets me. I think they are inconsiderate. What do I say?

August 07, 2015

Just be direct when they want to get together. Ask, "Did you want to bring appetizers or dessert?" You can use any variation of this from main dish to side dishes, but the idea is not to give them an out. You need to retrain them on what is socially correct. Even if they don't have a lot of money, they can still bring something. It's not reasonable that you two get stuck with the whole meal all the time. Your husband needs to be more assertive.

my childhood best friend told me he loved me after our reunion. although I didn't say it back we both decided a long distance relationship was a bad idea and decided to stay friends. he's cut off all communication with me & I'm afraid he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. what should I do?

August 07, 2015

If he's cut off communication with you, then he is very clearly communicating that he no longer wishes to have a relationship. But before you wrap this up and throw it in the trash, make sure he wasn't in an accident and is not capable of communicating. That being said, drop it and move on.

Should people get married anymore?

July 31, 2015

It depends on the people, and it depends what their values are. Very individual question with very individual answers.

Is it possible to be in love with two men at the same time? I know I will have to make a choice but right now I’m enjoying dating both of them. They don’t seem to mind if I go out so I’m not sure what to do.

July 31, 2015

Unless you are in a committed relationship, you are just dating. The fact that you have strong feelings for them is an indication that you are ready to be in a serious relationship. As long as they are both okay with it, you can be, too. The only question I would have of you is would you be okay if one of them were dating you and another woman at the same time. You may want to give that a bit more thought.

Why do guys think it’s funny to make fun of a girl on her period? Every time I get in an argument they ask me if I’m PMSing. It really upsets me. I’ve asked them to stop but they just make fun.

July 31, 2015

First, it's not funny. Second, it's not all guys. A woman's menstrual cycle is a normal part of nature. Unfortunately for some women, so is PMS. Any male that has been in a serious relationship with a female experiencing PMS can verify that those times are difficult. Keep in mind that these guys' behavior is just simply immature. They are trying to discount what you are saying by just attributing it to PMS instead of dealing with the problem.

Is there a good approach to this? We don’t want to cause a big problem.

July 31, 2015

see previous answer

Our daughter is adopted. Her birth mother had her when she was 14, obviously impulsive. We are very worried now that she is entering high school about our daughter’s choices since impulsivity is genetic. She knows she is adopted but we have never really discussed her birth mother with her.

July 31, 2015

While impulsivity has genetic components, it still is very much nature versus nurture when it comes to how she will behave. All parents should have discussions with their children about making good choices. It is always best to be proactive, and it's always better to do it BEFORE anything happens. At some point you are going to have to trust that all the parenting work you have done will take hold and that she will make good decisions. Just know that just because of her birth mother's age, your daughter is not automatically at risk.

I’ve been with this other guy for 3 years. We both are committed to the relationship but he thinks we should come out as a couple. I don’t see any reason to do this since most of the people we hang with already know about us. Why would he want to insist on coming out?

July 31, 2015

The most likely reason is because, once the two of you come out, there is a much more public, therefore solid, commitment. It also depends on his version of coming out. If most everyone has already seen the two of you together, I doubt anyone is really going to pay a lot of attention. It's more about the way it makes the two of you feel. It's really no different in a straight relationship. There's a certain sense of security that pushes the relationship to another level when a couple makes a "formal" presentation.

One of my close gf’s son is 18 and keeps hitting on me. I don’t want to get him in trouble or to upset her. Is there a nice way to handle this without everybody going ballistic?

July 31, 2015

You and your girlfriend need to have a sit down discussion, and she needs to know. Otherwise, when, not if, this comes out, she will only have his version. You need to make sure you have concrete examples and not just feelings. The young man needs to know that he is being inappropriate, but you don't want to hurt him. With you and your friend sitting together, you first tell him that you are flattered and thank him for the compliment, but "You can understand how this would create problems between your families, so I would appreciate you stopping those behaviors."

My bf is in the adult entertainment business. At first I thought I would be ok with this but I’m not. He treats me real well but I just keep thinking about him being with someone else and it bugs me. I’m not sure I can do this anymore. How do other people like me handle this?

July 31, 2015

It's sounds like you did not truly realize the impact his occupation would have on you. Since you are not in the business, you would not have really thoroughly understood what is involved. Many people in the business just date (or marry) others in the business. Outside of that, I doubt you will ever get used to what your bf is doing for work. You will have some serious decisions to make going forward.

I’m in the middle of two girls. I never committed to either but now they are both pissed at each other for trying to “steal my bf.” I’ve tried to explain that I’m just dating but both have different ideas. I like them both but don’t want a steady gf. How do I handle this?

July 31, 2015

If you were clear with both at the beginning of your dating, you might think you are in the clear. Not necessarily so. I would definitely stay out of the middle because you will only become the target. IF THEY ASK, just explain to both of them what you just explained in your question. You may lose both, but it's better than being stuck. Cat fights can be ugly, so be careful.

Liked by: Brianna Nicole

I’m really worried about my relationship with this guy. We went out 4 times and he asked me to sleep over. I did and we slept in the same bed but nothing happened. I’m really worried that he doesn’t want to be with me any more. I really like him. What should I do?

July 31, 2015

You don't need to do anything. He may just be trying to be respectful of you and doesn't want to push the issue. He may be waiting for you to give him the "green light." Just enjoy the moment, and don't put the burden of a sexual relationship on him. Believe it or not, some guys like to take it slowly. We are not all wham, bam, thank you m'am.

How can I lose my virginty I'm going as a senior in hs

July 24, 2015

You have to be with another person to do that. With an attitude like you appear to have, you are probably not going to get lucky any time soon. I would hope that anyone's first sexual encounter is more romantic than "just getting rid of my virginity."

I saw last week you told someone that taking viagra when it isn’t needed can be dangerous. Why?

July 24, 2015

Your body has a way of trying to balance everything. It's called homeostasis. If you're hot, you sweat. If you're cold, you shiver. If your blood sugar is low, you get hungry etc. When a man who doesn't need viagra takes it anyway, the body becomes dependent on the drug. The body also tries to regulate the drug's effects by going in the opposite direction. Once he stops taking it, it could actually result in erectile dysfunction.

My bf swears up and down he is not using anymore. I think he’s lying. I have told him that if he uses again we are history. He keeps telling me to trust him but I can’t and don’t. I told him if he wants to prove it to me he should get tested and show me the results. How should I handle this?

July 24, 2015

There's a old saying among those of us who work with substance abusers. How do you know when a addict is lying? answer- His lips are moving. Basically, you are correct. If he has violated your trust, he needs to regain it by proving, not saying. Go to your local pharmacy to get a drug test, and make him pee in a cup. That's the only way to be sure.

When I broke it off with this guy he put out some really nasty stuff on his instagram. I was devastated. I feel like everywhere I go people are staring at me. I can’t believe he would do this, stupid me. Is there anything legally I can do?

July 24, 2015

unless it crosses over a legal line, there's really not much you can do. The only advice is to pick better in the future.

Do you think we should just come out and then see what happens?

July 24, 2015

see previous answer, but, no, you need to discuss all the possibilities of the consequences of your actions. This is not a matter to be taken lightly or impulsively.

My partner and me (we r both guys) would like to go out together. The problem is he works for a really conservative company and we are both worried about his job. We have talked about it a lot and we are not sure that putting his job at risk is such a good idea.

July 24, 2015

This is a real life problem because it boils down to equality versus practicality. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. I think the two of you should keep talking this over until you are of one mind with what to do. Don't worry about a time frame, and don't feel pressured to do something before carefully thinking over all options. I would recommend seeing a therapist so that you have an objective third party to help you through.

I recently moved back to my home town. I ran into an ex gf and it was like fireworks. Here’s the problem. My new gf moved home with me. I can’t figure out what to do. I never realized how much I really like my ex.

July 24, 2015

If you are really serious about the hometown gal, you are going to have to be honest with your current gf ... and prepare for a major butt whooping. She made a huge commitment to you by moving with you. There are no soft landings on this one. Which ever way you go on this, you are going to upset one of them. As long as that's the case, you may as well take your medicine and go with the one that makes you the happiest. I would just check my food and drink carefully everyday :-)

My bf used to write me poetry. His buds got on his case and now he’s stopped. I wish he would do it again because I really like it. I tried explaining it to him but he just says he can’t do that anymore. I guess I shouldn’t have posted them. Any ideas?

July 24, 2015

First, your bf needs to grow a pair. He caved to the harassing his friends gave him even though he's obviously creative enough to get your appreciations. That's too bad. You don't say what was in the poems, but if there was very personal stuff, you should not have posted them. It may be the reason he is getting so much flak. You can try telling him that you would like him to continue, and that from now on it will be just for your eyes.

I just found out my old gf and her new bf decided to use our song as their song. It sounds stupid but I’m really hurt by this. I would think with all the songs out there she would pick something else. I know there’s nothing I can do to stop them but why would they do something like that?

July 24, 2015

It could be because they like the song, or it could be her way of musically giving you the digital salute. As you said, there is nothing you can do about it. You don't own the song, so let it go. Obviously, you haven't yet gotten over her since hearing the song reminds you. So, if you and a new gf really liked the song, would you be ok with using it?

I keep getting these annoying texts from my ex. I asked him to stop but he wants to get back together. No way! I caught him cheating and I told him at the beginning if he ever did that it would be over forever. Should I report him for stalking? If that’s what it takes to stop It I will.

July 24, 2015

Part of the problem with social media communication is that it's very difficult to just turn on and off. So, from the sound of it, it's not exactly stalking. I would suggest you start keeping a detail journal of all his communication attempts. However, do NOT respond back to anything he sends. I'm sure you are aware you can block certain people, so I'm not sure why you aren't doing that. If you keep details, you will then be in a good position if you need to bring the hammer down by filing a restraining order. Bottom line- he continues to prove he's a jerk.

I’m an athlete on the high school baseball team. Our coach is kind of old. He has told us that we should not have any sexual relations during the season because it will hurt our performance. Is this true?

July 17, 2015

Yeah, that's an old fashioned idea. In fact, there have been several studies done that show sexual relations either have zero effect on athletic performance or in some cases actually improve it slightly. STOP! That doesn't mean I am advocating you go out and have sex before every competition. It just means there is no scientific evidence to support what our coach is saying.

Dr. Andrew

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