Me and my gf are both 24. When we go out I like to have a glass or two of wine with a meal. My gf says that makes me an alcoholic. I don’t ever exceed the two glasses but I wanted to know if you think she’s right.

October 24, 2014

Being an alcoholic is not just about having alcohol. It's about behavior as well. Having 2 glasses of wine does not make you an alcoholic. Do you have cravings? Do you think about drinking? Have you had trouble with the law because of drinking? Do you have mood changes with alcohol. Does alcohol cause any problems in your life? Ok, you get the idea. Get to the deeper issue bothering her.

My gf is a great cook. Problem is I like everything she cooks and I’m starting to show it. How do I nicely tell her to slow down without hurting her feelings?

October 24, 2014

Tell her exactly what you have stated. Her cooking is fantastic, and you have not self control when it comes to eating. Face it, big guy. You are a pig. There's nothing wrong with admitting it. I do that all the time. Ask for her help in limiting your portions and preparing dishes with fewer calories, and tell her it's because you want to keep looking good for her. I totally understand. I was thrown out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant in my college days. I, too, am a pig. :-)

If my bf gives me an expensive gift for Valentine’s Day (he did last year), am I supposed to do the same for him? I didn’t last year but he did not seem upset.

October 24, 2014

Gifts are supposed to be appreciated for what they mean not what they are. You don't necessarily have to give an expensive gift, but why would you not give your boyfriend something for V Day, unless it's your belief that V Day is just a one way street. The fact that your bf does not seem upset is no reason to toss the idea of the gift giving being mutual.

My bf’s parents keep interfering in our relationship. I’ve tried to be patient but they just keep telling him what he should and shouldn’t be doing. I want to be respectful, but this is getting tiring. What do others say to meddling parents?

October 24, 2014

The two of you should ask to have a meeting with them. Make sure the two of you sit together and hold hands when you talk with your parents. Explain the them that it really bothers both of you when they interfere and/or criticize your relationship. Ask them directly to stop the behavior, but be respectful.

Liked by: ПИАР

My 14 year old son is dating a girl for 8 months the problem is recently he moved back from Edmonton and is now doing long distance. We already spent 3k on him in this year alone and now he wants to go back for Christmas. He's offering to pay but should he go back? Is it too soon for him to go back?

October 24, 2014

Your 14 year old does not have the emotional maturity to be involved in a really intense relationship, especially one that is long distance. This is not a put down. It's just a matter of neurological maturity. There are too many psychological risks. I'm not sure why you feel obligated to even entertain such an idea, but you should really reconsider any thoughts of letting him go. He won't like your decision, but parenting is not a popularity contest.

Liked by: ПИАР

Why does my friend only want to marry a celebrity? Its her goal in life.

October 17, 2014

Your friend is living vicariously through others. She thinks that by marrying someone who is famous, she will be famous (and she might). Wanting to be a wannabe celebrity is not a really good reason to get married. There are people who don't want to do the work to get results. They just want to ride on someone else's coat tails. Others are more interested in making the coat themselves. Unfortunately, your friend sounds like a very shallow person.

I gave this girl a really expensive friendship ring. We broke up so I asked for it back. She says no way and it’s hers. What’s the deal?

October 17, 2014

The "deal" is as you mention in your question, you GAVE it to her. That means it was gift. Of course, the decent thing to do would be for her to give it back (like that might happen), but she is under absolutely no obligation to do so. It's an expensive lesson to learn, but hopefully you learned not to do it again. When someone gives someone else a gift, it should be with no strings attached.

Why are older people so freaked out by online dating? It’s just another way to meet people.

October 17, 2014

Each generation surprises the previous generations with something new. In the current case it's online dating. It's just a matter of time until online dating become just a part of normal interaction. Until then you will have to listen to, "In my day we ...."

Me and my husband of 3 yrs have been having a problem so we separated. During that time he hooked up with this woman. He says we were apart so what’s the big deal. I want to know the details but I don’t. How do I handle this?

October 17, 2014

No, you are not overreacting. When someone in a committed relationship hooks up with someone else, regardless of the gender, then, yes, it's cheating. Your partner is just trying to justify what he did and is trying to convince you that the problem is with you. Don't take the bait. It's his. He needs to own his mistake and make amends.

I am a 26 yo male. My partner hooked up w a female. He says it wasn’t cheating because it was with a woman and he’s still my partner. I’m confused. Am I overreacting?

October 17, 2014

No, you are not overreacting. When someone in a committed relationship hooks up with someone else, regardless of the gender, then, yes, it's cheating. Your partner is just trying to justify what he did and is trying to convince you that the problem is with you. Don't take the bait. It's his. He needs to own his mistake and make amends.

All my gf’s are doing e. They say the sex is so much better. IDK if I want to do that. Is it true that it makes things better?

October 17, 2014

E, ecstasy, is a stimulant. For some, it does heighten one's senses but at a cost. When in a juiced up state, you tend to drop your inhibitions and do things you might not consider safe. My guess is that the other females are using it to bypass their normal "stop signs." You have to make a personal choice that is good for you and not just what everyone else does. It's part of growing up and making mature choices.

If my parents were divorced does that mean that’s probably what’s going to happen to me? I know what it did to me and I would never want to put my own kids through something like that.

October 17, 2014

Statistically speaking, yes, you are greater risk for getting divorced. However, keep in mind it's not an automatic. There are many things you can do to help in not following your parent's pattern. My recommendation would be to get some professional help to identify the hidden behaviors that you "learned" from your parents. By bringing them up to a conscious level, you avoid them having a negative effect on you. You can be much more in control of the situation than you probably realize.

I’m 24 and on my 3rd serious relationship. This isn’t going too good either. I feel like a failure. How do I keep from making the same mistakes?

October 17, 2014

Your situation is one of the reasons we created our app, Love Shopping List, and wrote our book by the same name. You are not being selective enough in your relationships. What you need to do is to objectively look at what you really want in a relationship. The more careful you can be in your selections, the better chance you will have of finding your soulmate. Don't give up!

Liked by: Brianna Nicole

Why do males have trouble expressing their emotions? I try to get my bf to open up about how he feels about different things, but he just gives me one word answers.

October 17, 2014

Traditionally males have been led to believe that the display of any emotion other than anger is a sign of weakness. Of course, this is ridiculous, but the belief still lingers in many cultures around the world. More and more males are beginning to understand that truly connecting to another human being is all about sharing emotions. Tell him how close you feel to him when he shares his emotions with you. It makes you feel like he trusts you. That may break the barrier.

All my girlfriends are married. I'm feeling pressure from them but I haven't met the right guy yet. I don't want to just be married. How can I stop them from making jokes and putting me down?

October 10, 2014

Better to wait to be with the right person than to hurry up and be with the wrong person. Many women still feel there is something wrong with a single woman. That's an old idea. Just look at them, smile, and ask if they are jealous. Tell them they will be the first to know when you find the right match.

Liked by: Pragya Sharma

My cousin was dating this guy about 3 months ago. They broke up. I been liking on this guy lately. My cousin says its not ok for me to do that because it’s her ex. I don’t seen nothing wrong since its that long ago. Am I right?

October 10, 2014

Different people have different ideas on when it's ok to date an ex. There is no "rule." 3 months should be long enough to give up rights of ownership. Ask your cousin why she thinks it's wrong and what might be an ok time in her mind. Ultimately, you have to decide if a relationship with this guy is worth not having a good relationship with your cousin.

Why are there so many guys involved in domestic violence and why do women put up with it? Guys need to get a clue.

October 10, 2014

There are many causes, but underneath is the idea that men can control women, and both sexes buy into that. There is much education that needs to be done. It even crosses over to cultural issues as there are cultures that continue to treat women as property. I've worked with women from other cultures involved in dv who believe it is their husband's prerogative to do what they want. Males need to be taught better respect for females from an early age, and females need to be taught they are equals at the very least.

Can you compliment somebody too much?

October 10, 2014

Yes. If you over compliment, the compliments become meaningless. They are no longer special. As a matter of fact too many compliments can become annoying. Most who over compliment are trying to fit in and trying to befriend others, thinking that if they compliment them, an invitation will be made. Its a sign of insecurity.

Liked by: Pragya Sharma

I just found out my gf been doing the scarf n barf thing. I got really mad and blew up at her. Now I’m worried that I made things worse. What do I do?

October 10, 2014

This is a REALLY serious problem. Your girlfriend has an eating disorder. I can certainly understand why this would be upsetting to you, but the last thing she needs is another person, particularly a male, being upset with her. If you really care about her, help her get professional help. This can be a deadly disorder and at the very least can damage her health permanently.

My gf’s father says really hurtful shit to her in front of me. I haven’t said anything yet because I don’t know what to say. My gf walks away crying and I try to comfort her but it keeps happening. I feel like telling the guy off but is it really any of my business? My friends say to stay out of

October 10, 2014

Support your gf but don't get in the middle. The situation did not just pop up. This is obviously something that has gone on for a very long time and is part of their family dynamics. Your gf is going to need some help standing up for herself and setting firm boundaries with her father. The best things you can do is be her cheerleader and be a good listener, but not a problem solver (typical male mistake).

So me and this guy I’ve liked kind of got together at this party (no hook up) but now he won’t even talk to me. I feel like he was just trying to get me. How do I find out what’s going on? I still like him.

October 10, 2014

Don't sell yourself short by chasing him. Have more self respect. Let him come to you by playing a little hard to get. If he doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be. You may be correct that he just wanted to use you, or it may be a question of timing. Just let it play itself out. Don't panic and give in to something that you really don't want to do.

My bf keeps saying dumb hurtful things and then always apologizes. Is there any way to train him not to do it in the first place? Its getting me really upset.

October 10, 2014

You are going to have to be much more assertive on what is bothering you and what you want. You probably think you've been clear. You are also going to have to think about his consequences if he continues to say things that are hurtful. The obvious question is why you would stay with someone who does not make you feel good. Don't be anyone's doormat. Love yourself enough to set firm limits.

Is it legal to get married at 16?

October 03, 2014

It depends on where you are. In the USA its legal in some states

How do you repair a marriage after someone has cheated? I feel like throwing up every single day. I can’t sleep or eat. It feels like there is no end to this.

October 03, 2014

Infidelity, the fancy word for cheating, is very hard to get over. The relationship has been violated. If both parties are willing to work on it, and with good therapy its possible to put the relationship back together. It will take time and a lot of work. Sometimes it is just too much water under the bridge.

Our daughter is turning 16. What is an okay age for her to start dating? What do other parents do? She keeps saying that this is 2014 and things are different now and that we are being too strict.

October 03, 2014

There are no rules other than what you and your husband put down. A lot depends on her. Some teens are ready to date at 16, and others are not. You can also lay out certain rules of dating such as her checking in so you know where she is, checking out parties before she goes, etc. A good dose of common sense goes a long way. Don't be intimidated by the "but everyone else is doing it" argument.

Dr. Andrew

Nothing here yet