It's hard to live knowing that this time could have been spent on you & I. I wanted so badly to have everything. I wanted more hugs and more smiles. Just more of you. We had such little time. I had so many beautiful dreams of where we'd go. The ocean, swept in a beautiful fog, with your hand in mine. I can see your smile in the amusement park we never went to, I can feel me wrapping you in my jacket as we watch the fireworks in the darkness of the night sky... I can hear you laughing when I finally take you to my dream spots, the black sand beaches, the cabin beneath the northern lights. The beauty of it all is just so touching. Being in the place I have dreamed of with the person I have always loved. I cry when I think of it all. That I dreamt a lifetime with a person who never saw any of that in me. Here I am, sleepless, in my dark room at 3pm on a Monday afternoon, and I have nothing to dream about anymore.

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