My mom getting the life she always wanted even if I end up never having existed. It's not that I'm ungrateful for the life I have, of course, but all our lives, us her kids have witnessed the many sacrifices she made for us — how she'd willingly put us first before herself. Heck, we'd probably hurt her and disappointed her so many times in the past too, but her love for us has never wavered, and her faith in us has remained as strong as ever. Between me and her then, there's no doubt she's the one who most deserves that chance.

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However, while I believe my Mom may have given up some of the she things she wanted for herself in favor of raising and taking care of us, I think that her ultimate happiness and fulfillment is still having us, her family. Ironically, by choosing the latter option then, I think I'd inevitably only be denying her that happiness. Of course, she'll always have my brothers and sisters, anyway, so it may not matter that much if I didn't exist in the first place. 🤔

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