These two guys got in an actual fight over me. The problem is that I'm not interested in either of them but now everyone in school thinks I'm a bitch and put them against each other. My friends know the truth but others are just mean. ??

July 20, 2018

Don't get involved in the gossip stuff. As long as your good friends know, you don't need to say anything. People will always gossip. Nothing you can do about that.

I just found out that my last bf died. I wasn't shocked because he was an alcoholic but I feel bad about being mean and confronting him with the reason I was breaking up. I just couldn't take it anymore. How do I get rid of the guilt?

July 20, 2018

First, understand that the whole situation is not your fault. You can certainly apologize if you'd like to. That may make you feel better. Besides, you knew his father, so out of respect you can give condolences.

My gf is 10 years older than me. She gets shit for this all the time. It really upsets her because she says that wouldn't happen the other way around. What do we say to people when they make rude comments?

July 20, 2018

You can either just look at them and smile without saying a word, which drives people nuts, or you can directly say that you don't remember asking for their opinions. You need to let them know you are not rattled. Be strong.

My mom's bff is trying to set me up with her son. Her and my mom do not know that he's a dealer. I'm not sure how to handle this but I keep stalling to go out with him. Do I tell or what?

July 20, 2018

Absolutely, you need to tell your mom. Let her fun interference for you. Do NOT go out with him.

I started going out with this girl. After about a month we kind of tried to go to the next level. She says she has vaginismus. WTF is that? Is she just not wanting to have sex?

July 20, 2018

It's spasms in the vagina. It can be very painful for anything, including tampons, going in. Yes, it's a real condition.

My trainer is older than me. The last session he came onto me. I didn't know what to do. Isn't this like a professional boundary violation? I don't know if I should keep working with him.

July 20, 2018

In certain professions, it's grounds to either be suspended or lose a license. It's DEFINITELY a professional violation. He needs to be reported. You need to look him in the eyes, tell him to back off, and get a different trainer.

My mom started going out with my coach. It's really weird at practice to see him and have him yelling at everyone including me. It messes with my head. I'm thinking about quitting the team. Do you have any suggestions?

July 20, 2018

As long as your coach treats you just like everyone else, concentrate on your performance. Yes, I can understand how it's a bit weird, but just stay focused.

I hate getting mixed signals from a guy like yeah I get that we're "friends " (if that's what you call a person who comes in out of your life when they want) but I know my feelings werent just one sided here

July 13, 2018

This is not a relationship. This is friends with benefits. If you're wanting more, you'll have to move on. If not, just go with it.

I'm not sure how to handle this. I just caught my bf up in the middle of the night watching porn. My first thought was that I'm not providing him with enough "entertainment." Is that the way it works?

July 13, 2018

Not necessarily. There are lots of reasons, not the least of which is that he's addicted. This is real. Don't shame him, and don't think that it's you. You may want to see a couples' therapist to help you with the situation.

If you been going out for a while, who pays? My gf has never even offered. I know it's traditional for a date or two but when is she supposed to kick in? You wanna be equal then do it.

July 13, 2018

You can certainly have that discussion after going out for awhile. This is 2018, and there's nothing wrong with splitting the bill or trading off who pays for each date. However, you should consider her financial situation ... and yours... before arriving at a solution.

My dad is starting to date again after him and my mom got divorced. I don't like his choice. What do I do? She's nothing like my mom.

July 13, 2018

No one will replace your mom. Unless your dad asks for your opinion, you should just support him in his decision-making. It's very hard to start dating again, so he'll have a learning curve. Don't pass judgement on something with which you're not familiar.

I love having my grandkids over but my son and d-i-l have never had the kids clean up. They have a bunch of help in their house. It really bugs me. I'm thinking of saying something to my grandkids. What do you think?

July 13, 2018

It's your house, so there's nothing wrong with telling them that when at your house they are expected to help clean up. Their parents are not doing them any favors by not having them do chores, including cleaning up.

My bf uses edibles instead of smoking. He's got anxiety. He says it helps him. I'm cool with that but my folks are not. He's got a medical card and all that. My parents want me to break up but I don't want to. ???

July 13, 2018

You may want to provide your parents with educational material and research. The fact he's using edibles would indicate he's not a typical pothead. You can explain that, too. Weed has been shown to handle anxiety quite well.

My bf's best friend is gay and we're both totally cool with that. In fact we've double dated a bunch of time with him and his bf. We get really weird looks (sometimes comments). We want to be able to say something to these people but don't know what to say.

July 13, 2018

You don't need to say anything. Why would you? You don't say anything when you go out with a heterosexual couple, so why not just think about it as just couples double dating?

My parents let my bf sleep over. I'm 17 so they figure I'm old enough. We've had "the talk" and all. His parents are freaking out. They said if I get pregnant they'll disown him. What do we say?

July 13, 2018

Don't say a word. You don't need to. Be smart and make sure you use protection. You are not going to change his parents' minds. That's between your bf and them.

How can I politely tell my gf she's put on some weight without starting world war III? I care more about her health than her looks but I do care about how she looks especially if she continues to gain more weight.

July 13, 2018

Approach it from a health standpoint. Let her know how much you care about her and that you are worried about a health concern. Be a gentleman.

do you believe you can die of a broken heart? I do

Jess

July 06, 2018

Broken heart syndrome is real. Yes, you can die of a broken heart. Here's an article I wrote about it. Broken Heart Syndrome –
Text- http://loveshoppinglist.com/broken-heart-syndrome
Audio- https://chirb.it/Dyze19

How do I get past my husband of two years cheating on me? I can't stop crying.

July 06, 2018

You need to see a therapist. You will go through the stages of loss. The pain will begin to subside but not the loss of trust. If it's not handled properly, it could interfere with any future relationships.

Our son and his wife have kicked my 18 y.o. grandson out of the house because he's dating someone from a different culture. We are not as rigid and he knows that. He wants to come and live with us. How do we pick between our son and our grandson?

July 06, 2018

This truly requires family therapy. First you're going to need to find a highly qualified therapist. You are being placed in a situation that you're not trained to handle, AND you are emotionally involved. Don't do this alone. If there's a chance to salvage the family, it will require a lot of work.

I seem to attract guys who are jerks. I know it has to have something to do with me but I can't figure it out. Is there a way to understand? I'd just like a nice guy.

July 06, 2018

The best advice is to get some short term therapy to figure out your role in the problem. Clearly, you are sending out messages you're not aware of and to the wrong people. A good therapist will help you sort it all out.

I'm really attracted to this guy. I found out he's trans. Surprisingly this doesn't bother me. I just think he's really nice & a lot nicer than other guys I've dated. Should I get help to sort this out?

July 06, 2018

You seem to have a good handle on your feelings, which is very good. Some professional help would go a long way to helping you sort more things out. That way your mind will even be clearer.

Me and my gf are 19. We been going together for two years. People seem to think they need to tell us what to do because we are young. How do we politely tell them to F.O.?

July 06, 2018

Here's a fun way to handle it. Instead of getting mad or saying anything, just look at them, don't say a word, and SMILE. It drives people nuts. The key is not to say anything. Works every time.

I just found out my brother's gf has been cheating on him. I'm in the same female social circle she is so I know it's true. Do I tell him or just let him find out on his own?

July 06, 2018

If you are reasonably close to your bro, yes, you should warn him. Usually the one cheated on is the last to know. Family is worth protecting.

I'm a 42 y.o. divorced female. I just started dating again. Not sure how to handle this. Any advice?

July 06, 2018

Just relax and be yourself. Talk to any of your friends who've already been through it. They'll have the best advice. You are dating but with all the knowledge you didn't have when you dated young. Enjoy!

There's this guy that pops up in our social group all the time. He started hitting on my gf. She doesn't like it but doesn't know what to do because she is sweet and doesn't like to hurt anyone. Do I step in or let her handle it?

July 06, 2018

Ask her what she'd like you to do. Sometimes people need someone to advocate for them. She genuinely may not know how to handle it. Be gentle. Don't be a jerk handling it.

Dr. Andrew

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