My Gramps brought his girlfriend over when he came to visit. I'm not sure why but this creeps me out. They sleep on the sofa bed in my apartment. Do you think this is weird or what? I don't know what to say to them.

March 02, 2018

You don't need to say anything. I think it's great that you are so close with Gramps that he feels so comfortable coming over to visit with his girlfriend. Yes, it's a little of role reversal, but good for him!! Enjoy their company.

My gf wants to put me on a diet. Ok so I'm a few pounds over what I should be. It really pisses me off. I've never criticized her for anything. I don't understand why she would say this crap.

March 02, 2018

I think you are interpreting this incorrectly. Try this. Your girlfriend REALLY cares about you and wants you to be healthy. Talk to her about this and show your appreciation. If all else in the relationship is good, consider her caring as an extra added bonus.

My dad is really sarcastic. The other day he made my gf cry. I was really upset. She said she never wants to come over the house again. I tried talking to him about this but he just says she needs to get a sense of humor. Now she wants to break up with me. Any ideas?

March 02, 2018

First, please don't expose your gf to your dad anymore. Let her know that you support her. I'm guessing your dad is not going to change anything, especially in HIS house. Apologize to your gf, and let her know that what your dad says does not represent how you think or act.

Our son (17) is dating this young lady. We just got some very disturbing news about her that we verified. How do we explain this to our son without seeming like we are interfering? We want to protect him, not make him angry. This person is NOT who he thinks she is.

February 23, 2018

If you have very concrete information, show it to him. At 17 he is blinded by love. It's very hard to come to terms with a person not being who you thought she/he was. Don't deny interfering. Show him tangible evidence. Explain it's because you love him and don't want to see him get hurt.

I seem to attract men who begin to criticize me in some way after a date or two. I've asked my girlfriends to be honest with me, but they all have no explanation. I've tried therapy and been honest in session, but it keeps happening. What do I do?

February 23, 2018

Ask for your money back from the therapist! It doesn't take a therapist to figure out that it's a self-esteem issue. For whatever reason (from your past) , you aren't setting proper boundaries with these men. Dump anyone who does not treat you in the manner you deserve. That being said, it all starts with you.

I would like to propose to my gf, but I don't know if she's ready for that. I don't want to get turned down. How can I find out if she's ready too? I know she loves me but I just don't know if she's ready for the next step.

February 23, 2018

It sounds like the two of you have some more discussing to do. It should be a mutual decision to move forward. You will know when the time is right, but you are correct in waiting. If it is meant to be, it will happen.

Me and my bf have both put on weight. We are working on it together. I don't like the idea that our circle makes comments about my weight gain but not his. My bf is very supportive of me but he doesn't say anything to the people that comment about me. Should he?

February 23, 2018

It's called fat-shaming, and it's done more to females than it is to males. That's unfair but true. The best revenge is success. I don't think either of you should say anything to anyone except to say, "I don't think your comments are helpful or respectful. Please, if you have nothing good to say, don't comment." This is a nice way of saying, "Shut the f--k up!"

Me and this girl met online then in person. I think it's really working out well but my friends say I should be much more cautious. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I've asked them if they suspect something but they say no and just to have him checked out. What do other people do?

February 23, 2018

There's nothing wrong with thoroughly checking someone out to set your mind at ease. There are sites you can go to in order to do a complete background check. Do that so that your are completely comfortable. You will be glad you did which ever way it turns out.

My grandmother wants me to set her up with my bf's grandfather. They both lost their spouses several years ago. I feel really weird about this and I'm not exactly sure how to do it. I'm not even sure I should get involved in any way. You think it's ok?

February 23, 2018

I think it's GREAT! She's being a little girl again. Good for her. Just let his grandfather know that your grandmother is interested in him and would be "honored" if he would contact her. Many would say to not get involved. I say, it's never too soon to play Cupid ... even for your grandmother.

I'm 17 and so is my bf. He just broke up with me and all he says is that he's not ready for a really serious relationship. I asked him if I did anything that upset him but he says no that it's just him. I'm crying all the time because I don't know what happened. How do I find out? I need to know.

February 23, 2018

You may not find out. At 17 he just may be telling you his reality and the truth, that he's just not ready for a committed relationship. It also could be that he just wasn't as into the relationship as you. You will get through to date again, but it will take a bit of time. Be kind to yourself.

I have a bad tree nut allergy. My gf's mother evidently doesn't get how serious it is. I carry around epi pens. At first I realized she isn't used to watching out but it's been enough times now that it makes me think she doesn't really care. I'm thinking of breaking up with my gf because I can't

February 23, 2018

This is a safety issue. You need to sit down with her and have an intense discussion. She doesn’t realize that it really is a life-or-death issue.

I love my bf but here's the problem. I'm in mostly AP classes in high school and he is like a C student. Everything else about him is wonderful. It really bothers me. I try to help him but he just says school is not his thing. What do I do?

February 16, 2018

Your bf may have learning disabilities. If everything else about him is wonderful, you are going to have to decide if being a great student is on your make-it-or-break-it list. For some, being at the same educational level is important, while for others not so much.

I can't get my husband to take his dishes to the sink. He just leaves them at the table. Our kids have started doing this too. When I mention this to him he just says he forgets. Then I'm stuck with everyone's dishes. How do I "train" them?

February 16, 2018

Don't make or serve dinner until they do their parts. Your husband is being an anal orifice! Tell them you are on strike until they begin to help. My guess is his mother spoiled him by doing what you were doing.

My bf all of a sudden has started getting a lot bigger. I asked him if he's taking steroid but he won't give me a straight answer. He says it's just from better workouts. Can that happen just from workouts?

February 16, 2018

If this has happened in a short amount of time, say a couple of months, he's probably using steroids but does not want to admit it to you. It takes many months of hard workouts to get a lot bigger.

My bio parents had a nasty divorce when I was 3. My dad remarried and I have a half sister who is 5 years younger than me. I've tried to get close to her but she won't return my messages. I'm really hurt and don't know what to do. I don't know why she would do that. Any help would be appreciate

February 16, 2018

There are many reasons that are possible. You don't know what your dad's new wife has said to your half sister, and that may be one of the reasons. I would just move on. I often tell people not to try to be with people who really don't want to be with you.

Me and my bf are both 27. Our parents are from the "old country." We want to get married in a small civil wedding but we're getting a lot o pressure from both sets of parents to do a big traditional wedding. We want to respect our parents but are not interested in a big wedding. Do we just cave?

February 16, 2018

Very difficult question. Especially in different cultures, weddings are often for both of the whole families. Even though it's your wedding, I would suggest going along with both sets of parents. I always tell others that they are not just marrying spouses. They are marrying families.

My girlfriend comes from a very poor family. My family is pretty well off. My gf says she is intimated by my family. I really love her and want to marry her but I don't know how to overcome her insecurity. Can this work?

February 16, 2018

All you can do is to keep telling her you love her. If it turns out that she can not get past her insecurity, there is really nothing you can do.

I started going out with this guy and found out he's also going out with another woman. We never made any commitment to each other that we would not date others. I just assumed and I know that's on me but I'm pissed. The more I think about it the more it upsets me. Says I'm just creating drama.

February 16, 2018

He is correct that the two of you have not made a commitment. Maybe it’s time to sit down and talk about having a committed relationship.

My gf's family is really well off. Here's my problem. Whenever I go over to pick her up her father slips me a hundred bucks. He tells me not to worry and that he knows I work hard. He's just trying to help. I haven't told my gf. Do I tell her? Do I not accept the money? I'm confused.

February 16, 2018

Her father probably realizes that she is “expensive” and you may not be able to afford what she is used to. He may be trying to help you. Just be appreciative and accept it as a gift. If you feel really uncomfortable, you can always talk with him.

How to win my ex back. We broke up a week ago. Still love together but I think he’s talking to someone else. But I’m really really in love with him...

February 09, 2018

If you could provide a little more information such as your ages and how long you have been together, it would be very helpful.

My bf asked me how I felt about threesomes. I was kind of shocked he asked that and didn't know what to say. Now after thinking about it I'm upset. Why would he ask me that? It makes me feel like I'm not meeting his needs. Do people really like these things?

February 09, 2018

As the saying goes, it's between consenting adults (assuming you are over the age of consent). The first rule is – never involve yourself in something that makes you uncomfortable, no matter how much you are pressured. This could be a make-it-or-break-it issue for the two of you. Some people like it, some don't. No judgement here, but I'm guessing he's been thinking about this awhile. Maybe it's time to seek some professional advice to help you sort out your feelings and actions.

I'm trying to be supportive of my gf. She wants to get a boob job. I've told her I will support whatever decision she makes, but I think she's perfect the way she is. We are both in our 20's and plan on getting married. I'm worried about her decision affecting family planning. What should I tell

February 09, 2018

I suggest you both talk with her gyn. That way you are both hearing objective information from an expert in that area. Clearly, she has some self-esteem issues surrounding how she sees herself. It's great that you are supportive, but the "problem" started way before you were on the scene. Your action is perfect. Just continue to be supportive.

I'm 17. I've told my parents I'm really in love with my gf. They tell me that at my age I really don't know what love is. This really upsets me but are they right? I'm confused.

February 09, 2018

There are different kinds and levels of love. Love at 17 is true love but is different than love at, let's say, 30 or 60. I caution parents never to say "You don't know what love is." All that does is invalidate your feelings and upset you. Your feelings are real. They may not be the same as you will have in another 15-20 years, but they are real and should not be dismissed as just "puppy love." Remind them how they felt when they were your age.

My partner and I are told we are "good looking females." But one comment really upset us. These two guys tried to pick us up but when we told them we were a couple, their comment was "What a waste of good looks." I don't know if they were drunk or what but it really upset us both. Why would they

February 09, 2018

Aesthetically pleasing looks are not limited to straight males or females. Good for the two of you that you are complimented on your looks. These guys are obviously ignorant when it comes to LGBTQ issues and do not understand how ignorant they sound and how hurtful their comments and behaviors are. You actually don't need to say anything since your silence will say it all. If you feel you need to say something, you could just say that the two of you are quite happy and don't view your relationship as a waste at all.

I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months. I just found out that he has not taken himself off the dating sites. When I confronted him he said he just forgot and would do it right away. His accounts haven't been active but I don't know why he wouldn't have taken his profile down.

February 09, 2018

You've stated there is no action on his part, so maybe just ask him – calmly and politely – to make the accounts inactive. Otherwise you come across as paranoid. It certainly is possible he just didn't get around to it. Since he is willing to do what you've asked, you might want to think about going along with that and seeing how things work out. Trust is a huge component of successful relationships.

Dr. Andrew

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