@PhanLoveChild

Shyan

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last christmas we bought a fake christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my dad ‘are you going to put it up yourself?’ and my dad said ‘dont be disgusting… im going to put it in the living room’

OH
MY
GOD
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i hate it when people shit on others’ excitement. like “hey! i got a new computer!” “that’s nice, but mine’s better” or “hey! i finally killed that guy that’s been bugging me for weeks!” “what the fuck i’m calling the police” unbelievable.

Ugh i hate when people call the police when i kill someone like what the fuck bro?
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in 7th grade english class we had to write “how to” essays so i wrote “how to get rid of a dead body” and it ended up winning a contest but i was also sent to guidance

Are you sure you found this on tumblr?
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why is every author a #1 bestselling author why is every toothpaste the #1 recommended toothpaste why do my parents hate me

Thats what im thinking right now
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