Ask @bttrcp:

dear buttercup, how does your relationship work? anytime i try an open relationship, one of us ends up getting feelings for someone else from the side or jealous or something else. maybe it's just always been the wrong person, but it never lasts longs once we open it up. tips? xoxo confused in love

i dont view relationships as mechanical currently, so re 'how does it work', it doesnt, i think navigating the social pressure placed on ppl to perform gender/leadership/career roles sets a clearer gage for if something's 'working' or not bc its set in a big enough system that the elements can be discerned or deduced.
trying to measure how compatible two ppl are with regard to maintaining primary interest in each other seems impossible to me, the person i wld most likely be willing to endure into old age wld probably nvr be willing to date me & the kind of relationship id like ideally seems v different from what sun fox & i are engaged in
instead i view our relationship as a support structure &, on my part, a commitment to openness i maybe wldnt maintain as readily w someone else, if i became interested in someone longterm romantically who wasnt sun fox, sun fox wld be the 1st person id tell
if sun fox calls me w a problem & my phone is on i plan to abandon w/e im doing bc ive given her that kind of authority over me & from her position she's chosen not to abuse it, which i value
shes told me abt ppl shes been interested in, ive told her abt other ppl ive been involved w since we started dating, & out of respect for her (rather than myself, who i dont care much for) i try to make healthy & emotionally sensitive decisions
i cant read sun fox's mind tho, if she decides the relationship is over, its over, i wont fight her, ill want to know why & be sure shes ok psychologically/emotionally, but i dont assume that theres a model for what were doing that will make it easy or not shitty
i just want to do what i can to be there for her as long as i dont feel like thats a burden on my health/wellbeing

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I remember at one point you said you lived for the friendship of people like Tao Lin, Megan boyle, Zachary German, etc. Is this true?

i still feel this way but the anxiety & difficult seeming logistics of emailing & hanging out w them seems to be keeping us from spending much time interacting
i still like them all a lot & enjoy when we get to hang out for extended periods but ive been spending time w ppl ive been friends w for less time & who are less socially anxious/easier to get in contact w recently

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what did you just think of the praise you got?

i didnt conclude anything concrete abt them, i thought abt the things they said, imagined my prof pic, vaguely considered its iconographical quality compared to others, didnt conclude anything, thought abt how i market my ideas/content, had a vague, relatively neutral emotional reaction i cant describe, felt sleepy, then annoyed they werent questions, then felt interested in answering questions & decided to post the link

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it's late at night - i'm hot and ready for the taking.... you pick me up and are heading to your bedroom when suddenly you trip on a snag on a rug. chili all over the room and your clothing! how does a dirty boy clean up?

probably shower/wash my clothes, use towels to cleanup the spill, but if the rooms relatively clean (not dusty, not much non-human hair, ppl dont wear shoes inside) i might use corn chips to eat the chili off the rug before cleaning the stains out

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