@demetrialucasdoyley

Demetria L. Lucas

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Late 30s, wife. Hubby sole sex partner in life. Hubby had experience. Last wk, was diagnosed w/incurable STI. He was active b4 me. Was told this STI can lay dormant for yrs. Getting treatment but mess of emotions. Feel alone. Not sure if I can bring myself to have sex again. What did I do wrong?

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Demetria L. Lucas
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Hmmm. How long have you been married??
Your reaction about not wanting to have sex again is pretty normal.
I’m unclear why you think you’ve done something “wrong”? STIs are frequent and happen to good and non-promiscuous and “right”- acting people.
What does hubby have to say? He didn’t know he had it? And he didn’t tell you or he didn’t know? Or he knew and he was ignorant about the transmission of it?
And I’m gonna ask: any chance he recently contracted it?
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Latest answers from Demetria L. Lucas

I’m an overall positive and well adjusted human being, however I occasionally have moments where I feel really down and lonely. It doesn’t last long at all and I don’t even think I can articulate why I have these moments. Would you recommend a therapist anyway?

I think therapists are great, even when everything is going great. A check in and assessment can’t hurt.
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How many people do you consider your "best friends?"

I have the same female bestie from when I was 12. My male bestie from when I was 19.
There are a couple other folks I’m equally close to, but I call them Sister or Bro.
15

Hkd hus bbf up with good frnd of mine. Hus bbf and my other frnds have been close for years. Everyone has vacationed and partied together for the last 10 years. Wedding is near and Hkd up couple aren't inviting any of the crew to wed. Says it's gonna be small. BBQ's are awkward af now. Can I fix?

Gia
It’s not on you to fix. The issue the other folks are having is with the engaged couple. So let the others either address it with them or move on and get over it.
Don’t give AF when it’s not your turn.
Also, they can invite whoever they want or don’t want to their wedding. Being mad about not getting an invite is petty.
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Shady frm the beg. Ive done nothin wild. She comes ovr, observes& l8r speaks on it. "She shouldnt have hr hand on yr thigh like tht, I dnt appreciate how u made dinner & she jus ate it& didnt say thank u, I like hr bt shes nt the one 4 u" etc. I've askd my gf 2 have a convo wit hr b4 I "banned" her

“Bt she put it off 4 the same reason, not wanting 2 cause drama or a fight. That's when I said ok if u won't talk 2 her abt her comments, I don't want her over here anymore. It's nvr an issue until friend wants 2 come by& my gf is in awkward pos tryna figure out how to tell her no, to not upset me”
Oh. Yeah, she deserves to be banned then. If your GF won’t do it, then you can. It’s her friend, but in your house, you have a say about who can come in. And you can tell ol’ girl she isn’t welcome. That said, banning her is only effective if your lady backs you up and stops inviting her.
15

found out I’m pregnant & BD is adamant about not being ready which I totally get. both 25, I live alone, he lives w/ parents. I’m more stable where as he parties EVERY night & has no sense of responsibilities. How do I know what the right choice is? Wouldn’t mind keeping it but def not single mama..

There is no right or wrong choice, just the choice you make.
If you don’t want to be a single mom, then your choice should be clear based on the information you provided about your BF. You’re gonna do the lion’s share of raising/caring for the child because by your description he isn’t ready or responsible. But you know that, and you’re still on the fence. So being a single mom isn’t actually your determining factor. So what is?
27

If an ex has made mistakes in the past and wants to get back together, what do you think is the right process to do restitution besides apologizing and acknowledging their mistakes?

That’s subjective. What works for YOU may not work for someone else. What do YOU need for “restitution” in addition to an apology and acknowledgment?
18

dating long distance (4mo) consistent convo n FT convos. i visited 1st, now he scheduled to my city but last minute, says $ issue but still trying to make a way to visit. i said okay - but pls. confirm and...nothing. disappointed of course, but need to chat to officially end or just let it be?

He ghosted on you? It’s already over. Let it be.
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I was about to ask you how to maintain my self-confidence with online dating when, one week in, I’ve got zero matches despite lots of effort. But after reading some of these questions I remembered that “rejection is God’s protection.” Thank you for continuing to share here!

Yup.
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Matched with a guy online, and we FaceTime. Decided to google him after convo, since I had more info. Find out that he’s married with three kids smh. Of course I won’t be talking to him anymore, but should I let his wife know??

Delete him. And that’s the end of it for you.
39

Fell for guy who was emotionally unavailable d/t mom passing. 1 year dealing w/ inconsistency i walked away. 4 months later he shows up at my door step asking for 2nd chance we had long talk. Dating for a month now things are good my guard is up &im scared he'll go back to the same BS. Advice?

Keep your guard up until he has shown you consistency over time. You have a valid reason to have your guard up. You don’t emotionally trust him. And you shouldn’t based on past behavior.
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