Ask @demetrialucasdoyley:

Hkd hus bbf up with good frnd of mine. Hus bbf and my other frnds have been close for years. Everyone has vacationed and partied together for the last 10 years. Wedding is near and Hkd up couple aren't inviting any of the crew to wed. Says it's gonna be small. BBQ's are awkward af now. Can I fix?

Gia
It’s not on you to fix. The issue the other folks are having is with the engaged couple. So let the others either address it with them or move on and get over it.
Don’t give AF when it’s not your turn.
Also, they can invite whoever they want or don’t want to their wedding. Being mad about not getting an invite is petty.

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Shady frm the beg. Ive done nothin wild. She comes ovr, observes& l8r speaks on it. "She shouldnt have hr hand on yr thigh like tht, I dnt appreciate how u made dinner & she jus ate it& didnt say thank u, I like hr bt shes nt the one 4 u" etc. I've askd my gf 2 have a convo wit hr b4 I "banned" her

“Bt she put it off 4 the same reason, not wanting 2 cause drama or a fight. That's when I said ok if u won't talk 2 her abt her comments, I don't want her over here anymore. It's nvr an issue until friend wants 2 come by& my gf is in awkward pos tryna figure out how to tell her no, to not upset me”
Oh. Yeah, she deserves to be banned then. If your GF won’t do it, then you can. It’s her friend, but in your house, you have a say about who can come in. And you can tell ol’ girl she isn’t welcome. That said, banning her is only effective if your lady backs you up and stops inviting her.

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+1 answer in: “Hi D, my gf is friends with her ex who has said shady things abt me on multiple occ whe she's come over. I tld my gf I dnt wnt her in our home anymre. Am I being unfair since thats her friend? My gf doesnt want the drama so has been putting off for months telling her friend she is no longer welcome.”

found out I’m pregnant & BD is adamant about not being ready which I totally get. both 25, I live alone, he lives w/ parents. I’m more stable where as he parties EVERY night & has no sense of responsibilities. How do I know what the right choice is? Wouldn’t mind keeping it but def not single mama..

There is no right or wrong choice, just the choice you make.
If you don’t want to be a single mom, then your choice should be clear based on the information you provided about your BF. You’re gonna do the lion’s share of raising/caring for the child because by your description he isn’t ready or responsible. But you know that, and you’re still on the fence. So being a single mom isn’t actually your determining factor. So what is?

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Fell for guy who was emotionally unavailable d/t mom passing. 1 year dealing w/ inconsistency i walked away. 4 months later he shows up at my door step asking for 2nd chance we had long talk. Dating for a month now things are good my guard is up &im scared he'll go back to the same BS. Advice?

Keep your guard up until he has shown you consistency over time. You have a valid reason to have your guard up. You don’t emotionally trust him. And you shouldn’t based on past behavior.

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Another old friend reached out to me at the beginning of the year. Both busy so Dnt talk much. Text her n got a”who is this” later she called n I asked y #not saved. She says onky saves family #s and probably nvr will save mine. I didn’t like that. Y reach out to me just to indirectly say idgaf abou

Jamie
“Your friendship? I kinda don’t want anything to do with her. Did I take it wrong?This reminds me y we stopped talking in the first place. What does it say about me that ppl like to stay connected while also being assy to me? Thanks”
You’re overreacting. She didn’t save your number. It’s not that serious.
You’re a friend, not family, not someone she’s having the sex with and by your own account, y’all ain’t that close.
If you don’t want to be friends with her, don’t be. But don’t let it be because your number wasn’t saved.

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+1 answer in: “Hi. Old friend from high school hit me up wanting to have lunch. Havnt seen 10yrs. Was kinda mean to me bt keeping an open mind. I do feel that I should express my feelings to her when we meet up. How do I go about initiating a convo about old habits that wont be tolerated? Should I just let it go?”

Hi D, my gf is friends with her ex who has said shady things abt me on multiple occ whe she's come over. I tld my gf I dnt wnt her in our home anymre. Am I being unfair since thats her friend? My gf doesnt want the drama so has been putting off for months telling her friend she is no longer welcome.

Ehhh. Depends on why she said shady things. Did she say them because your GF drags you to her friend and that’s why she doesn’t like you? Did you do something wild to your GF and now her friend is shady?
If she’s shady for no reason, banning her from the house is fair. If she’s shady with cause, ASK your GF to talk to her friend about her behavior before you ban her. Banning her is pretty much ending their friendship.

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How do you get over the nagging feeling that you're going to be single forever? I know life can be unpredictable but having hard time believing love will happen for me in this lifetime. In therapy but having hard time connecting with therapist.

Get a new therapist. If you’re not connecting, you’re wasting money.
You may be single forever. Love may not happen. (This really ain’t likely if you live long enough.) But if love doesn’t happen, you’re gonna have to find a way to make peace with that. That’s what a good therapist is for.

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BF has 2 kids by ex with a history of mental illness. She regularly bombards him with msgs threatening to block access over nothing e.g kid getting shampoo in his eye and not being taken to A&E. We’re happy but it’s alot. I want a future but IDK if I’m being naive & should cut my losses. Advice?

She’s not going anywhere. To deal with him means you have to deal with her. If he’s worth her headache to you, ok. If he ain’t? Bail.
Also, you don’t get in the middle of this. This is their issue that they have to solve and HE has to deal with her. Not you. You get the residuals of it.

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Hey D! I started dating a guy 1 month ago. We've been intimate and enjoying it. We started being intimate immediately. It was a summer thing. I just found out hes being intimate with 2 other women. He's not my bf and we're not committed. I understand this, and right now I dont want a bf, but I also

“CONTINUATION: I dont want to be with a man sleeping with many women. Im not judging at all, I just know its detrimental to my mental, emotional and even sexual health. I broke it off and it hurts. What do i do now? How do i get through it? I month isnt a long time, but I really liked him =(“
It’s been a month. If you feel this way on 3, come back.
There is no easy/quick fix for a broken heart. You need time and reflection.

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my friend is a kind, good, very accomplished woman, but her insecurities kinda exhaust me. she regularly asks me to interpret every thing an ex or man who rejects her does/says, and we're pushing 40. i try to say "i don't know him and shouldn't guess his motives" but she won't let it rest. options?

Tell her it bothers you.
Also, just tuned 40. Nothing magical happens the day of. It’s not some special enlightenment where you become a different person. If you don’t actively work on growth, you’ll be the same person you were at 25, 30, 35. It’s a number, not a rebirth.

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Hi. Old friend from high school hit me up wanting to have lunch. Havnt seen 10yrs. Was kinda mean to me bt keeping an open mind. I do feel that I should express my feelings to her when we meet up. How do I go about initiating a convo about old habits that wont be tolerated? Should I just let it go?

No. Cause you still feel a way.
Tell her you need to be honest with her about how you feel and then tell her about your feelings and your expectations/boundaries.

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What if they never decide to do something?

Then he never does and Sis is/you are annoyed forever. Or she changes her parameters.

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+1 answer in: “BF having REALLY hard time: stress, school, money, fam. Me & parents suggested therapy. He refuses. Asked him how i can support. He just wants to vent. I'm uninterested in listening 2 daily venting w/no action. Not interested in brking up nor am i trying to fix adults. Advice on how to handle?”
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