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Demetria L. Lucas

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Maybe conflict of interest wasn’t the best phrase, but he requested to assist my client once he found out I was handling her event & is now using this as a way to see me. He’s text & called (from diff numbers) & emailed for the past 2 months after I explained that I want nothing to do with him

Take all this to your boss at the company. It’s evidence. Tell them he’s harassing you and this makes you uncomfortable. You want him off the job. If your boss won’t handle, you go to HR.
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+1 answer in: “Found out over a conference call that my ex will be assisting one of my clients on an event. I’m annoyed. As this is now a conflict of interest, should I tell my manager or just put on my big girl panties and keep it moving?”

An acquaintance has a 5 year old daughter who is adorbs. Prob is: she's always asking for everyone to support her kids fundraisers. She then makes subs about the folks who don't buy. Do I buy just to support? I don't have kids so not sure whats the protocol if for friends kids and their stuff.

People ask folks to support their kids stuff. If you have it to give, do. If you don’t, then don’t. You’re not obligated, especially if you’ve already supported something.
That said, her subs about not getting the support she likes are nuts to do and probably why she doesn’t get support.
Also, for anyone reading, make a vid of your kid in their uniform asking folks to buy whatever it’s is they are selling. The kid asking for it makes it way more cute and likely to get sales. Everyone is suckered by cute kids.
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Dude practically begged me to go out just to end up at Shake Shack. When I questioned, he said it’s because I’m not giving up the goods. I’m pissed. Is my anger/annoyance warranted? How do I approach him/the situation moving forward?

He was entirely disrespectful. Not because he took you to Shake Shack tho. Because of what he said, essentially you are worth less to him because you won’t/ have not had sex with him. He is a pig. Any woman in her right mind would be angry/annoyed?
Approach him/the situation? Huh? You don’t. You never ever speak to him again. Ever.
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Planned to see guy I've been dating for the last month. He asked that I bring him food. I opposed. We've only been on one date (refuses to plan another because "it's not his thing"). He responds that I'm not worth $2. I then declined to see him. He says I'm bipolar and it was a joke. Was I wrong?

Why were you even speaking to him after he said planning a date wasn’t his thing. It’s YOUR thing, so he is CLEARLY not a match.
No, you weren’t wrong. And you should NEVER speak to him again.
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So, what is it that consistently keeps me rejected by men? I feel a way that at 37, I’ve never had a real relationship and I’ve only been on three dates in my life. And, yes I work, workout, good with money, take care of myself, etc etc. I just don’t get it...it’s like I’m never enough :(

I’m really sorry to hear you feel this way.
This is a coaching question, not a quick answer for ASKFm. I can’t give you a blanket answer. I’d actually have to talk with you and work with you to figure out your patterns.
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My good friend is always talking about her bestie but whenever I visit her (she lives in diff state) the bestie never comes around. Her other friends will come out but not the bestie. I see them all hanging on SM and since we never met I don't think it's bc she doesn't like me. Wht could this be?

You absolutely must get a grip. Maybe that woman has a life too. Or maybe she doesn’t feel like coming out. Maybe she is with her lover. Or child. Or both. Or maybe she just ain’t a fan of you. Why does this matter at all? She’s not being rude/disrespectful. She’s not dragging you. This is a YOU problem that you must address. It’s not about the bestie. You are thinking an awful lot about a woman who is clearly unbothered. Let that woman be. And you go be too.
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If you've been hanging out with another married couple (the guy is friends wth my husband) a couple times a year and suddenly the wife reveals she's not really a fan of hanging with other married couples-is it wrong to take offense? We rnt friends but I thought we were cool. To hear this I wonder if

Not wrong to take offense. The wife feels about you the way you feel about her. It’s cool, nothing special. I mean, it was a couple times a year.
Also, the you’re married and we’re married, so we have to be friends thing is weird. Great if everyone actually gets along and vibes well, but hanging out because marriage is the only thing you have in common is forced pseudo friendship. Find people you actually like and hang out with them.
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I recently reconnected with a friend after 5 years. She says in her growth she knows herself and no longer enjoys girlfriend gatherings (if she's not friends with all)and has no interest in being friends with her friends' friends. Basically said don't invite her bc she's not coming. Is this odd?

Nope. She doesn’t want to deal with new personalities and the potential for drama that comes with them. I get it.
Groups of women can be totally and completely awesome; they can also be catty and weird AF. I completely understand how someone would opt out of the potential for good to avoid the bad.
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What does it mean when a Person says they don't travel well with others/everyone? I've asked a friend to Go on a girls trip for my bday. Some of my friends she knows /others she doesn't. She said she doesn't travel well with everyone/others. Any idea??

It means she doesn’t want to be stuck around folks she doesn’t know who she may not blend personalities with, and who may not share her standards for how to party, where to stay, how to split checks, how to entertain themselves, express their volume or discontent, how to pick a spot, hold their liquor or enjoy solitude.
Traveling with the wrong folks can be HECTIC. I completely get where she is coming from.
I’m with her. I would not go on a bday girls trip with a bunch of people I didn’t know.
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When she left my wife's company (in the midst of the fall out) I told all of the personal biz that my wife told me about her and I told my wife not to repay the loan she gave her to start the biz. She since has paid most of it back...but yeah

What was “the fall out”? You’re not telling me the whole story here.
Unless you are extraordinarily petty and shady, you don’t go badmouth someone publicly and refuse to pay on a loan because they quit a job. That’s deeply personal. So what is the full story here?
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+2 answers in: “My wife and her best friend fell out and didn't speak for years until recently. I played a major role in the fall out. Her friend played a large role in the success of our lives now...so I see no issue with the friendship. When she got home from the sitdown she was very stern that she doesn't want..”

Nah. Sometimes she just thinks bk on stuff from the past. She felt disrespected by this womanYEARS ago and ever since it's been no talking her down.

Ehhh. You can’t keep this friend and “win” here. Wife is looking for validation that she is more important and “needs” you to delete this woman to show her. It’s petty and insecure. And if you want a peaceful home, it’s best to delete.
Cause if you don’t, the argument becomes “why is this woman who disrespected me so important to you that you need to access her and why are you choosing her over me?”
Choose your battles.
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+1 answer in: “My wife's insecurities are creeping up and she saw on SM that a former FWB (before marriage) N I follow each other. She wants me to unfollow and block this woman. I think it's extreme and just don't see why I should. Can u make sense of this?”

My bf is friends with a woman who is married and seems happy however recently during a discussion she told bf not to get married bc it's a risk to his assets (he's a developer). I'm like WTF!?. Why would she discourage that? Is she a hater?

She is allowed to have an opinion on marriage that is different from yours. That doesn’t make her “a hater”. She gave her opinion. Whether your BF adheres to it is what matters.
What she said is also a FACT. I’m kinda unclear what you’re really upset about. It isn’t what she actually said. Can’t be.
Another thing: a LOT of married people tell folks not to get married. A LOT. (I didn’t get it until I was married. It’s hard to explain if you haven’t done it.)
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My wife's insecurities are creeping up and she saw on SM that a former FWB (before marriage) N I follow each other. She wants me to unfollow and block this woman. I think it's extreme and just don't see why I should. Can u make sense of this?

Why are her insecurities creeping up? What happened to cause this suddenly? Was there an incident? Has there been infidelity/inappropriate behavior?
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+1 answer Read more

On LinkedIn and and found out my hubs ex gf is now going to be working at the company he's at. It's a big company but I still don't want them connecting for lunch or coffee or at all. I Know nothing about her and can't sy if they r in touch or not. But still-is this wrong to ask or even bring up?

You feel a way. I’m assuming your husband knows how you are, so ASK him what you want.
That said, to me, it comes off paranoid and controlling. Is there more context here? Like how do you know she’s working there? And what would make you think that they would seek each other out?
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Started talking/dating a man and a month in he said he had chlamydia but got doctors help. He says he's clear of it now but this happened about 6 months ago. I haven't had any STDs ever. Is this a man I should skip due to his recklessness?

Unfortunately, STIs are common. Very. 1 in 2 Americans get one before 25. If you’re knocking out folks who’ve contracted an STI, you’re knocking out a good chunk of the dating population.
Chlamydia is a treatable disease. Tread carefully. Get tested. Use condoms. With him and everyone else you encounter.
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My wife recently filed bankruptcy due to her cc debt that we ran up since I was out of work. We r getting bk on track but it's going to take time. She said to me feels she's doing worse as a married woman than when she was single. How do I get her to see that long term we will

You have to a plan with concrete timeline so she sees the light at the end of the tunnel and knows this situation is temporary. YOU— not you and her— YOU. She got enough stress. You need to be proactive and present a way to get you both out of this financial mess. You can BOTH spit-shine it to make it work best. But YOU must show you have a plan.
And YOU need a plan QUICK. That exact line she gave you is what I said when I left.
If you want to keep your wife, you need to step up in all other areas so she remembers your value as a husband. Clean the house, manage the kids, throw down on the D, bring up some romance. You gotta make her life easier in other ways and she MUST see you trying your best.
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Just to clarify... if a man lives in another state and constantly asks you to come visit him, HE should pay for the flight, right? Man I’ve known since college keeps asking me to visit but doesn’t seem to want to book the flight or see that as something he should do

If he really wants you to come, he will make it convenient as possible for you to get there.
If your parameters are he needs to pay for the flight, and he isn’t paying, it’s an impasse. There’s nowhere to go with the traveling conversation.
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At what point do you stop pouring precious mental energy into dating? Feel like my career isn't where it could be because I value finding a partner and I know you have to work at it! But there's only so many hours in a day...

What if I told you that you can find value in having a partner and having a career. You don’t have to choose. I’m unclear. How many hours are you spending dating that your career can’t be managed? How does this work?
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a destination wedding and planning a list of activities for our fam and friends. My friend (not in wedding) has made it clear she n her hubs will be there and participate here and there but she's not going to b at everything; want to explore just them two. Am I being selfish for expecting h

If you expect them to participate in every single thing, you are expecting entirely too much. ENTIRELY.
She and her husband are paying to attend your wedding. They are using the week/weekend as a vacation. This is standard, especially for folks not in wedding.
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My husband has a friend/mentor? (Older guy) he visits w/ weekly. Ive never met him.This guy has 6 sons. Some of his sons he doesn't even speak to. Is it weird This man doesnt interact with his own but focused on help someone else? The whole relationship seems odd to me but can't figure out why.

This doesn’t strike me as weird based on these details.
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Last few weeks with my bf has been like an emotional roller coaster.. something is up but he won’t say one week he’s up then the next he’s quiet. I told him that this is exhausting and frustrating which seems to hve push him further away.. what shld I do? Shld I just leave him be?

Let him be. Something happened that he’s not willing to tell you about yet. Let us hope it’s not too crazy. It will come out eventually. Wait.
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Liked by: Je'Niece McCullough Kay W myra.elesa Kenya Robinson Kiki Toya Williams Beautifully Complex Michelle A NaChelle Jackson

if you don't feel like you know a man well enough to travel internationally to see him, then you don't go, or ask him to come to you. expecting him to pay your friend's international airfare too is absolutely bizarre. bizarre. it's like u have a crazy bar for men just to say "run, sis"

Nah, Sis. Nah. That’s not bizarre; it’s not crazy. It’s also not my rule. It’s the STANDARD practice. Ask around.
And it’s the rule according to men who fly women out. It’s her and her girl and a hotel stay.
They know it, they expect it. And they WILL pay. You want her to come, you pay for her and her friend to come out and you out them up. STANDARD.
If he can’t afford it, then he can’t afford to date internationally.
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