sophie

the setting sun casts a warm glow on kyungsoo's cheeks and jongin finds himself smiling at the sight, before enveloping the smaller man in his arms, inhaling deeply and giving a tender kiss to his temple. kyungsoo returns the gesture with a peck to his lips before frowning at jongin.

---

"you're late," he says, mouth pulled downwards into a pout. jongin laughs and kisses it away, easily sliding his tongue in, swallowing the rest of kyungsoo's words. "i've missed you," kyungsoo breathes. there is a faint blush creeping across his cheeks.

---

"i've missed you, too," jongin says, "a lot more." the sky starts to darken and jongin looks over the horizon, with a look of deep longing. he's already feeling light-headed at the effects of fading whenever night comes. kyungsoo whines.

---

"i love you," jongin whispers, hurriedly as he kisses kyungsoo on the lips. "i love you so much." his legs start to disappear and he feels his grip on kyungsoo loosening. kyungsoo nods and sadly waves goodbye.

---

when darkness comes, all jongin sees is black.

---

(kyungsoo's kiss is still warm on his lips.)

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the boy gives him a small smile and then, a thumbs-up.

---

that night, jongdae asks his grandmother about her neighbour and finds out that he's a year younger than himself and that his name is kyungsoo.
--
"why are you always in black?" jongdae asks, sitting himself on the park's bench next to kyungsoo. he watches kyungsoo kicks at the ground, hands curled tight around the seat. it's a long while before kyungsoo opens his mouth to speak.

---

"i'm mourning," comes the reply. his voice is rough with honesty and pain and grief. jongdae doesn't think he has ever heard a voice sounds so broken. "for my parents. i'm sure granny kim has told you." there is more than that, jongdae can tell.

---

he remembers his own father and thinks about all the black he wore, all the crying he did, all the food he's refused, all the people he's pushed away and he knows why kyungsoo is like this, even after a long time. he knows that when people you love leave you, they take away that bit of happiness you have and you mourn because it's one of the ways you try to keep them alive in your memory. but jongdae also learns that healing takes time. it can be a year, two years, many, many years and kyungsoo's wounds are still fresh. jongdae understands.

---

"i'm sorry," jongdae says. it's silent for what seems like ages before he confesses. "i lost my father, too. i'm left with mom, now."

---

kyungsoo doesn't say a word, but he has stopped kicking at the ground. "you never stop missing him, right?"

---

"nine years," jongdae whispers. "and not a single day has passed without thinking of him."

---

this is when kyungsoo cracks a smile and jongdae thinks he understands why his own lips part into a smile, as well, despite the sombre conversation. they're not the only ones who lost important people in their lives, jongdae thinks this is the first time kyungsoo's met someone who has been through his pain. this is a friendship budding and kyungsoo tells him so.

---

"i think we should be friends," his voice is soft. the sky is darkening fast and in the dimming light, jongdae catches another smile.

---

"aren't we already friends?" the reply is easy, as easy as jongdae reaching out to give kyungsoo's hand a squeeze.

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"at least you'll never lack vitamin c," baekhyun jokes, voice crackling through the mobile phone and he laughs loud and clear as jongdae peels the device from the side of his face to glare at it. "hey, cheer up! go make some friends or something..."

---

"easy for you to say," jongdae says when baekhyun stops laughing. "i can't believe my mother didn't let me stay in seoul...i've been working in this orchard /every/ summer--"

---

"jongdae?" a voice sounds and jongdae stops talking. it's his grandmother. "lunch's ready!" footsteps are heard and then her head peeks into the room, smiling at the sight of her grandson sprawled on the bed.
jongdae shoots her a smile and turns to his mobile phone. "baek, i'll talk to you later!"

---

"have fun~!" baekhyun laughs before hanging up. jongdae shakes his head and steps out of his room. working at his grandparents' citrus orchard may be dull (and tedious) work but jongdae has not a single bad thing to say about his grandmother's food especially when she makes /amazing/ kimchi jjigae.
--
easily picking the fruits up and putting them into his basket, jongdae collects them quickly before bringing them inside to be washed. there is still another basket waiting outside so he steps out to bring it in when he notices a figure approaching the orchard. jongdae recognises him -- the next-door neighbour's son who's always in black and rarely talks to anyone. he looks taller than the last time jongdae has seen him, and a little unfriendly with his mouth pulled downwards, no trace of a smile.

---

"ah, that poor boy," jongdae's grandmother sighs. jongdae jumps and she laughs at the shocked expression on his face. "why are you so surprised?"

---

"didn't hear you come," jongdae replies, smiling as they walk back inside together. "what's wrong with him?"

---

"his father passed away last fall," she explains. "he's an orphan now, him and his brother. their mother passed away a few years back."

---

jongdae doesn't comment, his own heart suddenly aching for his mother. he takes the fruits basket nearer to the sink to be washed and then makes a mental note to give her a call later on.

---

--
jongdae doesn't know why but ever since then, he finds himself waiting for the boy in black to walk past the orchard grounds each dusk. he's curious -- where does the boy go and why? there is a lovely park ahead, that much jongdae knows, with a beautiful lake overlooking the area. jongdae wonders if that's where he is headed every day.

---

"Granny Kim's grandson!"

---

jongdae turns around and suddenly, an orange is flying towards him. his reflexes are quick, though and he catches it easily. it's the boy from next door. placing the fruit carefully atop the mountain of fruits in the basket, jongdae yells a "thanks!"

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with a swift movement, jongin grabs hold of the running deer and snaps its neck into half, smirking amusedly at kyungsoo who stands in the shadows, watching him. warm blood trickles down to his hands and jongin licks them clean, not before beckoning the older vampire to come over.

---

"you're hungry," kyungsoo mutters, squatting to where jongin is and lazily licking at the blood. jongin is too focused on his fresh kill and doesn't respond. "how does it taste? good?"

---

"better than nothing," jongin whispers. he bares his fangs in a grin at kyungsoo who shoots him a look -- better than nothing as in of course he'd prefer human blood -- before pushing the dead animal towards him. "for you."

---

"i don't take leftovers," kyungsoo scoffs, pushing the deer away. there is blood all over his pants now and he rubs at them violently, only succeeding in getting blood on his hands and not actually cleaning them.

---

"that's because you're not thirsty, yet," jongin reminds. he gets up and glances up at the sky. "wanna go, now?"

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as of late, i have been getting rather nasty messages in my askfm inbox. be it messages telling me my fics suck or mocking my fics (your xxx fic only has 1 comment/0 comments!!!) to telling me to shut the fuck up about asking for prompts or just. you know. generally having problems with my fic writing... i'm telling you to stop.

---

idk if it's a joke or if i'm being too sensitive but every single message like that pricks and i am hurt. yes, you have won for hurting me and if it makes you happy, YES I HATE GETTING MESSAGES LIKE THAT. but i'm asking you to stop because i 1) will never publish those messages and 2) will never stop writing just because YOU think what i write sucks. i will not stop trying.

---

do i think my writing is good? absolutely not but that doesn't mean i should give up, right? i don't think i ever will see any good in my writing to be perfectly honest, but i don't think i will give up that easily, either. if you don't like what you're reading, then don't please stop. or at least tell me something constructive. you can't just leave nasty messages like that and expect me to improve, you have to tell me where i'm lacking so i can work on it.

---

if you're not willing to do that, then yes please don't read my stuff. save yourself the trouble/excruciating pain of reading my horrible fics/drabbles and just /don't/. that's all.

---

thank you.

---

(i'm also fully aware that this will prolly change nothing but i just thought i should put it out here and stand up for myself for a bit.)

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baekhyun recognises the expression on taeyeon's face, the tremble of lips and gaze flicking away from his own as she stands up and away from him. she's angry. and most definitely about to cry. taeyeon exhales loudly and folds her arms. she's still not looking at baekhyun and there's a quiver in her voice when she starts to speak.

---

"chanyeol," she grits out, voice shaking, barely containing her anger. "you're in love with park. fucking. chanyeol."

---

baekhyun hangs his low instead of replying because what she's saying is true. she inhales a shaky breath and baekhyun looks up, feeling his heart sink at the sight of her reddening eyes. "taeyeon, i'm sorry."

---

"since when." there are tears in her eyes and baekhyun's heart starts to ache. dating taeyeon has been lovely; caring for him in her own quiet way, small kisses to the corners of his mouth when he's down, arms winding around his waist when he's feeling lonely and tired. gentle voice, always so reassuring and comforting. but baekhyun knows he will only hurt her further if he doesn't come clean about chanyeol; she doesn't deserve even a quarter of his heart when someone like her should get more. she isn't chanyeol. and baekhyun isn't in love with her -- he's terribly, /terribly/ sorry for having to break her heart like this but there is no point in prolonging the relationship when the cat has been let out of the bag. he should have done this sooner.

---

he sets his lips in a line and sees how her small hands are clenched into fists, knuckles whitened. she's visibly shaking when she repeats herself, this time her voice coming out in an angry shriek. "I ASKED YOU, SINCE WHEN?!"

---

"since the beginning," baekhyun replies, watching taeyeon still at his response. "i'm so sorry--"

---

taeyeon lets out a sob.

---

--

---

i definitely do not mind! do send more if you have any baekyeon prompts in mind~

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in all of his twelve years of living, never has jongin been greeted with a fist to his cheek before a flurry of /oh-my-gods/ and apologies come streaming out of his attacker's mouth, a pair of wide and worried-looking eyes right in his face. jongin blinks at him once and manages a grin. though that most certainly comes out as a grimace, he's sure, because kyungsoo, the new kid, peers at him with concern instead.

---

"i'm fine," jongin says, waving kyungsoo's thin (but extremely strong) arm away.

---

"i didn't mean to punch you! it's reflex! i was just--" kyungsoo shrieks, his eyes getting wider and wider by the second. jongin hides the laughter bubbling in his throat with a slight cough at the look on kyungsoo's face, giving him a thumbs-up to show that he's okay. "i'm sorry, i really am. are you okay?"

---

jongin smiles at him and holds out a hand. "i'm jongin. and hey, they're not joking about you being a boxing champion, huh," he remarks, grinning when kyungsoo's cheeks start to flush at the comment. "you should teach me some of those moves, though. self-protection."

---

"is it because i'm small?" kyungsoo scoffs. jongin raises an eyebrow at that and decides that he likes this kid already. "i think i need to teach you how to /defend/ yourself first. you're such an easy target!"

---

"that's fine, too."

---

"i'm kyungsoo, by the way." kyungsoo says before suddenly grabbing jongin in a chokehold by his neck. he laughs when jongin starts to whine, fully aware that he's not applying the least bit of force in his hold. he pushes jongin away, rolling his eyes.

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they have been talking about this for the longest time but when minseok finally pops the question, sehun is left half-choking on his tears as he gasps a 'yes' and kisses the older man full on the mouth, arm wound tight around minseok's waist when he feels a smile against his lips. nearly eight years of being together and now, a lifetime after and sehun doesn't think he'd have it otherwise.

---

"i love you so much," minseok whispers, his eyes soft and his mouth even softer at the corner of sehun's lips. he has a hand at the back of sehun's neck, easily pulling him closer for a deeper kiss.

---

"i love you more," comes sehun's reply, breathy and urgent as he slides his tongue in. "much, much more." minseok's pulls away and gives him a look, shaking his head at sehun's words, feeling his heart swell with /love/ and joy and pure relief that sehun has agreed to his proposal. there's no one else he'd spend his life with; eight years ago, he fell in love with oh sehun and today feels like that time, minseok's falling in love with sehun all over again.

---

he doesn't mind.

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jongin remembers shiny plywood and mirrors and lots of empty space when baekhyun left. he remembers crying; lots and lots of crying when baekhyun finally tells him that his family will be moving and they will probably not see each other again unless jongin is willing to take the train for six hours to meet him. jongin nods his head but he doesn't think his parents would ever let him make that trip. baekhyun understands. at the tender age of eleven, jongin already knows the meaning of loss. baekhyun is crying on the day of his move, small hands cupping jongin's own teary face, sobbing his heart out at leaving his best friend behind.

---

"don't you /dare/ forget me," baekhyun says, voice trembling as he thumbs jongin's tears away.

---

"i'll miss you," jongin whispers. he pulls baekhyun into a hug and they stay like that for a long time before mrs byun pries her son away, eyes welling up with tears at the two kids.

---

jongin doesn't sleep very well that night.

---

(ballet lessons are terribly lonely without baekhyun, now. jongin quits after a year.)

---

"do you want to go to jeju-do?" baekhyun's voice crackles through the telephone. jongin balances it between his ears and shoulder as he plops himself down on the sofa. "just the two of us? you know, before university starts..."

---

they have been talking about this. going on a trip by themselves after high school and maybe planning college life together. it's been so many years since bakehyun has moved out of their town, but the two best friends still kept in touch through the kakaotalk and various social networking sites.

---

"sure," jongin replies, smiling wide. "are your parents okay with that?"

---

"not if i go alone but with you..."

---

"i'm not your babysitter, byun!" jongin says and laughs aloud when baekhyun curses at him. "i've missed you."

---

it's silent for a while and then very softly, baekhyun says, "me too, you idiot."

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chanyeol, yifan decides, kisses like he's on fire. he licks everywhere -- the roof of yifan's mouth, biting, /biting/, /licking/ and claiming yifan's entire mouth and alongside his jaw -- and his palms are warm on his chest as he pushes himself closer till they're yifan finds himself gasping for air when they stop because /god/. the look in chanyeol's eyes are equally fiery, brighter than the stars outside tonight, yifan easily arching his back against the balcony's railing, his head tilting towards the cold air.

---

"i love you," chanyeol says and his voice is velvety smooth. there are tears in his eyes. yifan feels like he needs to pen this down, the way the words roll out of chanyeol's mouth, the way his voice dips at the 'you', the curl of chanyeol's tongue when he emphasises on the word 'love' and how chanyeol's palms spread wide at the small of his back. "i love you so much, yifan."

---

this is when yifan smiles, straightening to his full height and drawing chanyeol close for another kiss. shorter, this time, staccatos of kisses running from chanyeol's lips to his jaw, to his neck. yifan replays the sound of chanyeol's voice saying his name at the back of his head, tucking it safe in the crevices of his mind because the way chanyeol says his name is /amazing/, too. yifan can never find the right words to describe all of these.

---

he has deadlines this week. his editor has been calling. "do you want to get dinner?" yifan asks. editor be damned. work is important, yes, but chanyeol is more important and /food/. he smiles at eager nod chanyeol gives. "okay, let's!"

---

there are stanzas forming in his head, already as he watches chanyeol skip towards the closet to get their coats out.

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yixing takes one look at baekhyun's hands and smiles, eyes easily crinkling into crescents and the crack of his lips gets wider as baekhyun quietly smiles back. "you have nice fingers... do you play?" he gestures towards the piano and waits for baekhyun's response.

---

"no," comes the reply and yixing finds himself gaping at baekhyun in shock. there is /no way/ that baekhyun doesn't play the piano... he honestly doesn't seem like he plays any other instruments to match those beautiful fingers so yixing says this aloud and watches baekhyun laugh. "i don't play. i can sing for you, if you want?"

---

"i've heard you sing," yixing says briskly, regretting immediately at how sharp his words come out. he gives a tight-lipped smile. baekhyun cocks an eyebrow, confusion clear on his face at yixing's abrupt coldness. "i'm just... i'm just surprised that you don't play the piano. i thought it was a requirement to enter this academy."

---

baekhyun doesn't reply immediately, eyes wide at yixing's statement, regarding him with a look that yixing cannot quite tell. he's not very good at reading people anyway, but baekhyun's friendly and he smiles like he's the happiest person in the world so yixing thinks that things could change.

---

"i don't... i don't play /anymore/," baekhyun finally says, his voice dropping to a low whisper. he has his teeth worrying over his lower lip as if unsure if he should say anything more. yixing finds himself relaxing as he shakes his head at baekhyun. /it's okay/.

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baekhyun inhales deeply, his hands firm on jongin's struggling shoulders jongin's eyes are wide with confusion as he struggles against baekhyun's grip, his lips turning blue from all the water he's been choking on. with a strong swoosh of his tail, he thwacks jongin's back hard and watches the human fall limp in his arms. baekhyun reaches out for jongin's wrist and exhales when he still feels the weak pulse underneath his fingertips. jongin looks even bluer than before.

---

blue? blue like deeper parts of the sea, blue like baekhyun's own veins against his fair skin when he lets the sun shine on it, blue like baekbeom when the villagers let the sea take him back, leaving his dead and lifeless body to rot at the shores, blue jongin's lips slowly spreading to his whole face. blue.

---

"i'm sorry i lied about the magic," baekhyun whispers. he places a kiss to jongin's forehead before a burst of light emits out of him and he roughly pushes jongin back to the surface, who easily floats upwards as baekhyun swims back down. "goodbye," he whispers. his eyes start to sting. baekhyun wipes at his furiously and swims away, never looking back.

---

(jongin will forget about him forever.)

---

-

---

(jongin doesn't remember it ever in his life, although he can never quite understand why he gets recurring dreams of the ocean, spending the nights there with the sand gritty on his back and staring up at the blanket of stars above him.

---

he can never explain it; how he looks at the ocean and his heart aches with this inexplicable longing.)

---

jongin finds himself walking up the beach, one day, kyungsoo's soft kisses peppering the corners of his mouth with /why do you want to go there?/ but he tags along because it's not as if he has anything to do afterwards, anyway. jongin has smiled, taking kyungsoo's hand in his and together, they walk down the sandy ground, hair windswept and salty from the sea breeze. that's when jongin notices a man approaching them. kyungsoo already has a friendly smile on his face; jongin is more wary, noticing how he has never seen the face around, before.

---

"hello, are you from around here?" jongin says, cocking a questioning eyebrow, confusion written clear on the lines of his face. the man says nothing but bows and jongin and kyungsoo do the same before watching the man leave.

---

the sun is setting fast beyond the horizons. baekhyun casts a longing look towards it and another one towards jongin's back. jongin doesn't remember him. doesn't remember /them/. that was part of the magical agreement he had with the magical merfolk. they told him it's the best solution.

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minseok can't help but smile when he hears the term. summer is teetering towards the end, the temperatures have dropped these days and he knows luhan is supposed to be flying back to beijing soon. he doesn't want to let this chance slip away so he beckons luhan to come closer. "is that all that i am?" minseok asks, feigning hurt. "your summer fling?"

---

luhan doesn't reply immediately, striding up to minseok and winding an arm around his waist. his breath is hot against minseok's ears as he whispers, "do you want to be something more?"
minseok kisses him and is damn fucking glad when luhan slides his tongue in, furiously kissing him back. this is when kyungsoo stirs awake.

---

"i need to throw up," kyungsoo mumbles and he does.

---

(luhan, being the compassionate person that he is -- his words, not minseok's, definitely /not/ minseok's -- offers to drive both of them back to his apartment, even tossing a few pieces of clean clothing to kyungsoo who is fast asleep on the couch.
"are you sure?" minseok asks, lips against the hollow of luhan's collarbones, not caring about his sleeping friend as they stumble into luhan's bedroom. "are you sure you want...?"

---

"let's date," comes the brisk reply. luhan is already unzipping minseok's pants. "beijing can wait.")

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it only takes a few seconds before minseok finds himself pinned to the wall, luhan's lips crashed upon his, one hand gentle on his jaw as luhan angles his face to kiss him harder. they are in a lift and minseok's heart is pounding hard against his chest, half kissing luhan back and the other half (very, very reluctantly and with much difficulty) on high alert for when the lift stops at their floor.

---

"how's that for a goodbye kiss, huh?" luhan smirks, pulling away from minseok just as the lift slows down to a halt. the doors open and he pulls minseok by his tie, leading him to the office. minseok frowns at him and yanks his tie away from his grip, adjusting it as he walks to his workstation. "hey, it's our last day, minseok! cheer up!"

---

"whatever," minseok replies, rolling his eyes when luhan flashes him a smile. he wipes at his lips and gestures at luhan to do the same, noticing how his lips are shiny with spit. "go back to your seat. we still have work to clear, okay?"

---

this time, it is luhan who rolls his eyes before he trudges to his desk to complete the last of their interning in the company.

---

they do not have lunch together that day, luhan walking out of the office once the clock strikes noon and not waiting for minseok like he usually does. minseok decides not to question.
-
kyungsoo is most definitely fucking drunk, slumped over his seat and drooling all over the countertop. music blares from the speakers and minseok finds himself smiling at the sight of his best friend completely wasted as he navigates his way through the dancing bodies towards kyungsoo.

---

"do you want to go yet?" he asks, poking kyungsoo. he receives a grunt in response and he pokes kyungsoo again. the bartender passes them and shakes his head at kyungsoo, before looking up at minseok and sharing a knowing smile with him. "kyungsoo!"

---

"are my eyes playing tricks on me?" a very, /very/ familiar voice sounds. minseok stills, his attention completely diverted from kyungsoo and he slowly turns towards it, heart sinking with the realisation that the voice is most definitely luhan. lu fucking han, the exchange student from yonsei university, all pretty eyes and an even prettier mouth curling up into a smile when minseok first introduces himself, nimble fingers sliding into the band of his pants and deftly rubbing against his cock underneath the table during meetings. and he's fucking right because there is luhan, with shiny leather jacket visible even under the dizzying lights in the club, an equally dizzying smile playing upon his lips. "is that kim minseok? my summer fling?"

---

minseok can't help but smile when he hears the term. summer is teetering towards the end, the temperatures have dropped these days and he knows luhan is supposed to be flying back to beijing soon. he doesn't want to let this chance slip away so he beckons luhan to come closer. "is that all that i am?" minseok asks, feigning hurt. "your summer fling?"

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fifteen years. twenty-two if they count the entire time they have known each other and that is how long it takes before luhan decides that it is over for them. minseok calmly places his fork on the table and smiles. there is no shine in his eyes like before. he has been expecting this.

---

"is it really over?" the words come out smooth and luhan feels his own resolve starting to crack. minseok quirks an eyebrow and leans back against his seat. "the both of us?"

---

"yes." luhan's voice quivers when he says this. "i want a divorce."

---

"you are not the one who wants out." minseok is gentle this time, his lips curling up into a soft, pitying smile. twenty-two years and kim minseok still knows luhan like the back of his hand, he still is able to read the features as clear as day and he catches the tremble of luhan's lips, recognising the hurt that luhan is trying to hide. "do you really not want to be with me anymore?"

---

/this/ is when luhan finds himself gazing sharply at minseok. he doesn't understand the question nor does he understand /why/ after all these years, minseok chooses to throw everything they have had down the drain just like that. after missing three birthdays and anniversaries, after cheating on him and not coming home for half a year, minseok finally comes home a week ago, drunkenly crashing into bed and kissing luhan awake and luhan kisses back because /god/, he loves kim minseok more than anyone and anything else in the world but now it is all over.

---

luhan has been crying himself too sleep on too many nights and it hurts to think about how minseok doesn't even finish the coffee he makes for their breakfasts. he prefers drinking tea, now. a habit luhan is sure he only cultivates three years back. /jongdae hates coffee/, minseok has said, after the many meetings with his client back then, and luhan remembers making a face and pulling minseok into a kiss, mumbling something like, /that's his loss, right? coffee tastes great, anytime, anywhere/ into his mouthand minseok grinning against his lips in agreement.

---

"fuck you," luhan snaps. he's shaking as he stands up too quickly, the back of his knees knocking the chair he has been sitting on to the ground. his cheeks feel hot at the impending tears, hating how minseok's eyes widen with concern -- he doesn't fucking need that from his lying, cheating husband -- and how minseok's right. luhan's not asking for a divorce for himself. it's minseok.

---

it has always been minseok.

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"sorry," is all baekhyun manages, his voice shaking as he watches jongdae stalk off towards the changing room in anger at their defeat. they have just lost the medley race for the chanyeol stands around to wait for him and kyungsoo, running his fingers through his wet hair before rubbing at his neck and gives a tight-lipped smile to baekhyun.

---

he opens his mouth to say something -- baekhyun knows chanyeol is as disappointed as jongdae has been (as with everyone else on the team) so he isn't all that surprised when he closes it and settles for an awkward pat to his back. not as if he deserves it, anyway, and that makes baekhyun feel even more terrible.

---

"hey, we win some, we lose some, okay?" kyungsoo's voice is gentle behind him, hand reaching for his before his fingers intertwines with baekhyun's. "ignore jongdae. he's always like that when we lose."
"but i'm the anchor--" baekhyun starts and then he swallows hard, all the words he wants to say get stuck at the back of his throat. "i'm just--"

---

"yonsei sent a strong team this time, baekhyun," kyungsoo reasons. they walk side by side to the changing room. "a lot of us were thrashed by them in the individual events. jongdae himself lost in all of his events--"

---

"shut your damn mouth, kyungsoo," jongdae snaps when he hears that. baekhyun stiffens, watching kyungsoo shoot jongdae a smirk, instead. "it wasn't just /me/ swimming, just now."

---

"precisely, baekhyun wasn't the only one swimming in the fucking medley race, either."

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"do you regret?" jongin whispers as he suckles at kyungsoo's fingers before he looks up, giving him a bloody grin. kyungsoo throws him a dirty look, retracts his fingers out of jongin's mouth and walks to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. "kyungsoo!"

---

"no," kyungsoo replies. jongin appears next to him in a flash and kyungsoo barely startles -- jongin has done this a million times over, appearing and disappearing out of thin air and he's used to it. "never. why would i?"

---

"i don't know," jongin shrugs, smirking at kyungsoo. "you sold your soul to me and now you can't fall in love with anyone else but me. that's pretty regretful, isn't it?"

---

"not if heungsoo is still alive, then no," kyungsoo replies. he dries his hand and pushes past jongin. "why are we talking about this again?"

---

"it feels one-sided."

---

"you /compelled/ me to fall in love with you and no one else. what are you talking about?"

---

"you. how you'll never be truly in love with me as i am with you."

---

"does that matter," kyungsoo asks as he pulls jongin towards him. he tiptoes and plants a kiss to his lips. "what's true love, anyway?"

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jongin wags his tail when kyungsoo approaches, tongue hanging out in delight when his favourite friend arrives. kyungsoo growls a little when jongin bumps him. he snares his teeth. jongin whines and licks kyungsoo all over his face.

---

-

---

this is certainly a new kind of world, jongin thinks, as he steps into an area clear of trees and bushes, overlooking a huge lake. several baby monkeys gather at his feet and play with his shoe laces. jongin laughs as he bends over to pick one up, amused smile on his face as it grins at him.

---

"bobo?" a voice is heard and jongin whips around. what he sees next is something that he does not expect at all -- a boy on all of his fours, most completely naked save for the circle of leaves around his private parts, approaches him, hands holding out.

---

"what?" jongin breathes at the boy. he stares into the huge, wide eyes, the small heart-shaped lips that grins up at him, still holding his hands out. there is a baby monkey in his hand. jongin looks at it and then at the boy before realising. "/oh/. you want him back?" he hands the baby monkey to him.

---

the boy does not reply, instead scratching his head and taking the baby monkey away from jongin.

---

"so," his father says, smiling, "you've met tarzan."

---

"that's his name?" jongin looks up from his book, cocking a questioning eyebrow. "what is he doing here with all those... animals?"

---

"his real name is kyungsoo. do kyungsoo," mr. kim replies. he takes off his glasses and gets up. "he was a child left all alone in this jungle when his parents died."

---

jongin does not reply to that, despite the ache slowly seeping into his chest upon listening to tarzan's -- /kyungsoo's/ -- tragic life story. he thinks, instead, of how the boy's eyes have lit up when playing with the rest of the animals by the river. he wonders if he will see that kind of happiness anywhere else when they return to seoul.

---

-

---

when kyungsoo crashes his lips against jongin's, all he can think of is how jongin's hands are warm around his waist and how soft his mouth is. yielding and pliant under kyungsoo's hungry kisses, tongue furiously licking and claiming the whole of jongin's mouth. /mine/, kyungsoo kisses jongin at the tip of his nose before peppering some along his jaw and finally settling at the crook of jongin's shoulder. his lips rests there for while as he whispers, "mine."

---

jongin sighs as he slips a hand into kyungsoo's pants, warm hand brushing against kyungsoo's hardening cock.

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under the strong spotlights and the deafening cheers so loud baekhyun can't even hear himself breathe, he realises that he hasn't always loved singing. beside him, kyungsoo skilfully lets the notes glide out of his mouth, strong breath carrying the tune and filling the whole indoor stadium with the beauty of his voice. the crowd gives a polite applause, appreciative and completely enraptured by kyungsoo and how he sings. baekhyun feels exactly the same and he knows that he is so lucky to be standing so close to do kyungsoo. /this/ is why he loves to sing.

---

--

---

the first time he hears kyungsoo sing is also the first time he realises that this is what he wants to do. sing a few songs, maybe dance a little, crack some jokes but most of all, he wants to stand next to kyungsoo and see that smile on his face. always.

---

"you're good," kyungsoo says, offering a hand. baekhyun stares at it for a while and wonders what it'd be like to hold that hand for ages on end, to touch every inch of skin and memorise the warmth against his own. he takes it in a firm grip and smiles. kyungsoo smiles even wider. "i'm do kyungsoo. and you?"

---

"byun baekhyun," baekhyun replies but that is not the most important thing. he wants kyungsoo to know how much he loves his voice so much so that his next few words come out rushed, "youhaveaBEAUTIFULvoice, kyungsoo."

---

the boy laughs, retracting his hand out of baekhyun's hold and scratching his head in confusion. he's so fucking cute, baekhyun thinks but holds his tongue because kyungsoo obviously has something to ask. "pardon? what did you say? i have a /what/?" it's genuine because kyungsoo widens his eyes as he says them. like he really wants to know.

---

"you have a beautiful voice, kyungsoo," baekhyun repeats. he smiles at the slow flush creeping across kyungsoo's cheeks. "seriously. i'm not kidding. ask anyone, they'll tell you the same thing."

---

kyungsoo nods and baekhyun notices that his cheeks has gotten a little redder at the compliment, shyly ducking his head in gratitude, mumbling a soft 'thanks', as if no one has told him that before.

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they're all babies to me sobs ;___; but yes i'll try to list down my headcanon of them as oppas heheh

---

baekhyun: he'd make fun of you all the time but would totally kill anyone who's mean to you. his logic is that only /he/ can be mean to you. he'll never call you pretty but instead gives a subtle nod of approval when you're all dressed up for your first date. after he grills you about your date and his name and his parents' names, of course. he's like your second dad.

---

kyungsoo: he nags. all the goddamn time. because you're too messy for a girl and he cannot stand messy. he's awfully sweet though because he cooks for you whenever you ask and he knows all your favourite food. he's not affectionate but every time after you get home on a bad day, you'll find a favourite snack or two in your room or maybe a text message asking if you want some supper because kyungsoo oppa is hungry and wondering if you'd like some, too? (he's not rly hungry lmao he just hates seeing you upset).

---

jongin: he sleeps all the time and whenever you tell him things, he'd always give you a comforting hug and tell you to sleep it off. get a good night's sleep, get some rest, take a nap.... and everything will be better once you're well-rested. he's blunt when the times calls for it and isn't afraid to call you out on your shit if he finds you acting like one.

---

minseok: he's awfully quiet but that also makes him a brilliant listener. you tell him everything even the girly things and then he'd make a face and be all GOD I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT. but he's always quietly caring for you and thoughtful about the things he's saying around you because he's the oppa and he wants to set a good example to you.

---

luhan: PRETTIER THAN THE YOUNGER SISTER!!! kidding lol but yea he's probably a really fun big bro -- soccer team and a horde of girls chasing after him, basically super popular but kind-hearted. he probably babies you because you're a girl or smth idk he seems soft-hearted when it comes to girls lol

---

jongdae: never try to be sassy with this big bro because he will sass you out ten times more and leave you regretting whatever insult you throw at him. he's got a sharp tongue but the warmest heart and you can always count on him for some genuine, honest advice.

---

ok wow i talk toomuch is this even real i should stop talking sorry anon this is too long

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baekhyun gapes at the person standing in front of him, shock settling down in all of his entire being at the resemblance he has… with himself. except he is a little taller, sharper jawline and straighter nose. everything that he has always wanted ever since he learns that most times, it is his face that sells the records and it is not so much of his voice or variety skills.

---

“i… i am baekhyun,” he stammers, holding out a hand. he’s shaking, he realises a second too late when his palm is covered in a strong grip.

---

the person smiles and cocks an eyebrow, “and so am i.” he laughs when baekhyun retracts his hand. “i’m baekhyun, too. byun baekhyun, main vocalist of exo and best friends with park chanyeol and kim jongdae.”

---

“this is crazy,” baekhyun shakes his head, disbelieving. “you’re not real.”

---

“like how you think your feelings for jongin isn’t real?”

---

this made baekhyun’s head snaps up in surprise. jongin. no one knows his feelings for the lead dancer except… himself. he hasn’t breathed a single word, afraid of screwing things up and losing jongin entirely. baekhyun talks a lot but he never talks about his feelings. and especially not about jongin.

---

“come here,” the /other/ baekhyun says, beckoning baekhyun to follow him through a door. it is their dorm room but not quite. he honestly doesn’t know where he is. everything seems hazy and dream-like here. even this baekhyun (or another version of himself) that he is seeing — better looking but he’s soft all around the edges. as if the walls that byun baekhyun has built around himself have been let down.

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“let go of my hand,” luhan snaps, roughly pulling his hand out of minseok’s grip. the make up on his face is melting from perspiration and tears and possibly the forceful kisses a very drunk customer has landed on him. “i’ve enough from those bastards. i don’t need this from you.”

---

“why,” minseok says, massaging his hands and glaring at luhan, “didn’t you tell me about what they’ve been doing to you.” he lets out a frustrated sigh when luhan turns away, angrily knocking down a chair, instead. “lu, you know i care about you. if anyone is out to harm you—“

---

“i’m not a kid, minseok. i can take care of myself.”

---

“with all those bruises on your face? with all those assholes groping you all over?”

---

“it’s my /job/ —“

---

“it’s your job to fucking strip. not to be touched like that,” minseok angrily says. he slams a fist to the table. “i run a business, luhan. if they want anything more, they can come to my office and show me the money."

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backstage, jongin sees the flaws lining against the creases of chanyeol’s face easily covered by layers of foundation and concealer. the buzz in the room intensifies as the female models start off the show — the runway music starts to play and jongin can hear the crowd outside with their applause. clicks of their cameras.

---

“you ready?” chanyeol mutters, his lips quirking up into a smile as he places a hand on jongin’s shoulder. he laughs when jongin nods seriously. “loosen up. at least you’re not in crutches like jiwoon sunbae.” he points at the older man, hobbling around the room, having broken his leg prior to the event. he had been devastated but the organisers liked him so they never did strike his name off and he’s awfully determined.

---

“he’ll kill the show,” jongin shakes chanyeol’s hand off and gives a thumbs up to jiwoon who smiles back. “everyone’s staring at you, man. i hate the pressure. so different from just the camera and you in photoshoots, you know what i mean?”

---

“you’ll do fine,” chanyeol reassures.

---

“and so will you,” jongin lets out a shaky breath and reaches out for chanyeol’s arm to give it a squeeze.

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