Finish this sentence; "my friends know i'm not okay when..."
...I'm doing one of my nervous ticks again.
I have very severe anxiety, and over time I've inadvertently developed certain coping mechanisms or signals to alert my friends that I need help with something. most of them are things that I can't control, although sometimes I can choke them down and hide them so no one notices.
if I glance at someone a lot, it means that I need something from them, but I'm too afraid to disrupt the conversation to say it. sometimes it's as simple as wanting my drink which is sitting on a table too far away for me to reach, but other times it's more urgent like needing to go home before I have a panic attack. I always find myself looking at people repetitively out of habit even though I've told myself not to even just minutes before, so this is definitely something that I can't control no matter how hard I try. when something is on my mind on repeat, it very clearly shows !! my family is extremely receptive to this signal in particular to the point where I can look at my dad a single time and he'll offer me whatever is sitting on the tray in front of him, usually my drink. he picked up on it before anyone else did, and before I even realized what I was doing LOL
when I sip my drink a lot, fidget / shake uncontrollably, rub my hands together, play with hair ties / zippers, or speak rapidly, it means that I'm very anxious and overstimulated, probably from too much social interaction at once or from something I'm worried about. besides shaking, these are a lot easier to hide — I usually do smaller, less noticeable things with my hands in public, like rolling a hair tie through my fingers / tying it into knots under a table, by my side, or behind my back where people won't see it. I can also change a conversation to be about a subject that I'm interested in to make my rapid speech seem like overstimulation from enthusiasm, not fear.
I have very severe anxiety, and over time I've inadvertently developed certain coping mechanisms or signals to alert my friends that I need help with something. most of them are things that I can't control, although sometimes I can choke them down and hide them so no one notices.
if I glance at someone a lot, it means that I need something from them, but I'm too afraid to disrupt the conversation to say it. sometimes it's as simple as wanting my drink which is sitting on a table too far away for me to reach, but other times it's more urgent like needing to go home before I have a panic attack. I always find myself looking at people repetitively out of habit even though I've told myself not to even just minutes before, so this is definitely something that I can't control no matter how hard I try. when something is on my mind on repeat, it very clearly shows !! my family is extremely receptive to this signal in particular to the point where I can look at my dad a single time and he'll offer me whatever is sitting on the tray in front of him, usually my drink. he picked up on it before anyone else did, and before I even realized what I was doing LOL
when I sip my drink a lot, fidget / shake uncontrollably, rub my hands together, play with hair ties / zippers, or speak rapidly, it means that I'm very anxious and overstimulated, probably from too much social interaction at once or from something I'm worried about. besides shaking, these are a lot easier to hide — I usually do smaller, less noticeable things with my hands in public, like rolling a hair tie through my fingers / tying it into knots under a table, by my side, or behind my back where people won't see it. I can also change a conversation to be about a subject that I'm interested in to make my rapid speech seem like overstimulation from enthusiasm, not fear.