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What is your definition of pure happiness?

OH MY GOD. I JUST NEED TO TELL SOMEONE THIS BEFORE I EXPLODE.
Basically today one of my best friends drove a group of us down to Dover today in a hired minivan for a pool party and it was so much fun (I should probably mention that I can't swim to save my life so I nearly drowned like twice but that's okay because my black soul isn't fit for heaven or hell). Annnnyways, I totally was not expecting much after all the water fights and shit, so when my best friend dropped me off a few hours ago, I was like, "Cool, bro. I'll call you whenever." But he insisted on walking me to the door then suddenly everyone decided to be annoying because they needed to use a bathroom or stretch out their legs after the long drive so they just crammed into my house and wasted 10 minutes being even more annoying. I didn't think much of it when Ollie herded them all out but chose to stay behind to say 'goodbye' bc he has his intense moments. So we're alone and he's being all weird in a nervous way. Then he just does it. He kisses me in the most gentleman way I have ever been kissed, and mumbled a goodbye and walked back to the van while I was just thinking "HOLY SHIT. DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?"
I kid you not I died. Srsly, I am still d y i n g bc he's so attractive (I mean, HOT DAAAAMNNNN kinda attractive) and I'm just... well, I'm just little old me.
Today was just... it was incredible *sighs deeply*
I still can't believe he freaking kissed me.

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What is your definition of pure happiness

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what do you sound like??? do you have an accent?

because I pronounce my t's I get called out by all my friends for sounding white which is stupid because how can a person sound like a race??? it's so frustrating. don't get me started on all the times I've been called a motherfucking oreo.
i am not. a. damned. biscuit.
i am a fucking person
and i am black.
don't exclude me from an entire race just because of my pronunciation and because i so happen to be literate and educated.
people these days. damn.

eu referendum? you happy that britain is leaving?

who would be happy in a time like this?!!?! we fucked ourselves over more in the past few hours than we have in 30 years, and the worst part is that the old racists who voted leave will be dead in less than 10 years while my generation will have to live with this consequence forever. so no. i'm not happy. not even the slightest bit.

Post one of your favorite quotes and who it's by!

This is the dopest line I've ever come out with:
"Because sometimes we must unlearn constellations to see individual stars for what they really are."
defo going to put that in my debut novel and then the whole world can quote me like they quote John Green, and maaaybe (just maybe!) I'll never have to see that wretched "Okay? Okay." shit commented on my stories ever again. *fingers crossed*
Post one of your favorite quotes and who its by

OMG kaddy you were at the wattpad meet up today??? im so sorry i wasnt there???? for some stupid reason i thought it was on the 22nd even tho leigh clearly told me it was the 18th????? i jUST i would have loved to meet you!

northbynorth’s Profile PhotoRose
*wipes a teeny, tiny tear*
*dies a little bit on the inside*
*sniffs*
*dabs eye with the corner of a handkerchief*
I'm okay, really I am. It must be the all the hayfever *Tracy Beaker's voice*
I mean, we got lost (Mariam was our brilliant tour guide) and watched a contortionist do strange, inappropriate moves and had a cheeky Nandos and went to a toy shop in Oxford Street. The only thing you missed out on was me talking at 1000 mph about SE, poking you to make sure you're human and real, and Nandos.
*cries for another 2000 years*

I'm not sure if you'll remember me (we didn't have a lot of conversations or anything lmaoo) but even though I've read your work a long time ago I still think they're really amazing honestly, I was just wondering how you've been and what you've been up to ? :)

SimplayJamsz’s Profile PhotoJamaira
uni life has hit me hard. like a brick-wall that's about 50m thick. it's literally a constant battle between pulling all nighters and then sleeping for 18 hours the next day. no in between. i'm still surprised that 10 weeks ago, little old me thought she was going to be doing all the reading on time, attending every class, sleeping at the ripe time of 10pm, with her skin on fleek, hair on fleek, eyebrows on fleek, clothes on fleek. banter. i turn up to my lectures in last night's makeup with the hangover of a century and then go home to sleep before trekking back to the library at 11pm to do reading i should have done in reading week. and nights out are even crazier. but now it's my christmas break and i'm home and i can finally breathe again.
oh wait, no i can't. i have to do more reading.
but life's great. seriously. i'm in a place i never thought i'd be, surrounded by brilliant friends and the coolest academics. and i met this mature guy who keeps me grounded and afloat at the same time. plus i'm learning about literary theories and art and aesthetic movements. so much knowledge i feel like my ears might leak glitter soon haha. it's just so cool because i've never felt so carefree and young. i'm happier than i used to be...
...but 9am starts are still the devil. that much definitely hasn't changed lol

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kaddy dont worry about oxford. honeslty, their selection is brutal.my friend recieved three a stars and was still rejected. but there are so many other good unis. everything happens for a reason.

northbynorth’s Profile PhotoRose
They rejected JK Rowling and she turned out to be the most successful writer of our century ;) Oxford don't exactly have the best judge of character, so I'm just gonna thank them for setting me on the right path.

I love how pro-black you are. As soon as i start talking about how i love my melanin & curly afro people freak out like i'm this racist who hates white people. love ya girl!

Love you more, sista ❤
It makes me so sad that younger, more impressionable girls like my sister hate being dark-skinned. Y'know I'm only just realising that racism was ingrained into young black girl even before they even knew what is was. You can love yourself without putting others down. Why don't a lot of people get that?

Favourite writer on Wattpad and real life. You can only pick one!!

only one?!! you're having a laugh, mate.
*whispers v. quietly*
Wattpad: Rose (@northbynorth) bc she taught me more about style and the gift of metaphors than freaking Petrarchan sonnets. That girl has starlight in her soul, man. Reading her side projects on her second account was a religious experience.
Irl: Lauren Oliver simply bc 'Before I Fall' was like a beautiful sunrise after the longest, starless night of all time. idk if you've ever needed a sign to remind you that you're doing ok, but that book was my sign. It gave me so much hope. I think I read it so often that my copy of the book is tattered and brown with age lol. Lauren Oliver is my writing goals.

Do you still feel out of touch with islam? If so why? :-) (not a personal attack just genuinely curious, if you feel uncomfortable feel free to ignore)

I'm sorry I left this question aside for so long. I just don't know how to answer it. I thought that I could come back to it another day with a sophisticated answer but I don't know where to begin.
I have great reverence for Islam. I always have and always will. It's a beautiful religion and I grew up in a household that put God before everything else, but He was used more as a fear factor as opposed to an entity that I could talk to and ask for help. I didn't feel enlightened or at peace; God terrified me. My mother put great emphasis on the existence of Hell and that I would go straight there if I didn't respect her despite the name-calling, etc. Don't get me wrong because she's a hardworking, selfless woman. But she made Him out to be this being with immense power--if I ever put a foot wrong I would be severely punished for it, which made sense at the time: wrong was wrong, and right was right.
I think I was 14 when I first began to doubt God. It was for stupid reasons. I made a wish and the boy I liked didn't like me back. I prayed really hard and failed a French test. Simple, stupid reasons. By the time I was 15 the reasons grew more serious. I started to decode some of my happiest childhood memories and I couldn't understand why God would put me through so much heartache. I was brought up to believe that everything happened for a reason, but even at a younger age I couldn't understand what I had done to deserve the bad things that had happened to me. You can't expect a kid to believe that they deserve abuse and brought it upon themselves. And if that reason was to teach me a lesson, I wasn't sure what was to be learnt. If that reason was to make me stronger, it only left me weakened and crippled me.
My problem is that I don't feel out of touch with Islam. I feel out of touch with God. And without him, religion makes no sense. It's like trying to get through a wall with no door. It doesn't matter how badly I want to be on the other side. The problem is that I can't get through. And please don't try to tell me that there's hope and redemption waiting for me on the other side, or that I can find my way back to God. I didn't even commit the appalling sin that I'm being punished for.
But I do believe in God, and I always will. I just don't think he believes in me. I hope this is a decent enough answer. There's more to it but I don't feel comfortable sharing more than I already have. Thank you for your patience :)

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What is your favorite story your parents told you?

When I was 6 years old I used to play in the sandpit all the time and get sand in my hair. Then I'd get my hair wet in the rain. It used to really piss my mum off because it took forever to wash the sand out of my hair. So she told me that if I get my hair wet while there's sand in there then those sand granules will turn into nits.
I believed her until last year when my friends sat me down and told me that my childhood was a lie because sand + water ≠ nits

can you give me some examples please? (oh high fantasy lit)

- A Song of Ice and Fire (this is the Game of Thrones series...SOOOOOOO AWESOME. my favourite ever series of all time.)
- Lord of the Rings
- The Name of the Wind
cant think of anymore right now but just google high fantasy and a bunch of them will come up. they're all based on a medieval landscape with mythical and magical elements. very cool :)

Where do you think people fail the most when studying A Levels? Congrats on the letter from Oxford!

Thank you so much! I'm still in shock but it's nice to know that universities don't discriminate against people who have repeated a year, even the prestigious ones.
I think everyone has their own reasons for failing. Some pick the wrong subjects. Some don't manage their time well. Some have family circumstances that keep them preoccupied. It's hard to pinpoint a single reason why an individual would fail an A-Level. Most of us understand the content but it's the workload that throws us. I made the mistake of trying to balance 5 A-Levels and maintain a hectic and unhealthy social life.

what unis are you applying for?? i went to a couple of open days and stil can't make up my mind

I keep changing my mind, too. So far my list is:
1. Oxford
2. King's College London
3. Queen Mary's University
4. Birmingham
5. Exeter
The last two keep changing. I don't want to move too far out because I get homesick, but then again I also feel claustrophobic in my own house. And things have been really tough lately. QMU is very friendly and inviting, but the course structure for KCL is ah-may-zing (so good, it makes me wanna cry), though I'm worried about how competitive it'll be.

What websites do you go to everyday?

Tab 1: Wattpad
Tab 2: Google Docs
Tab 3: Tumblr
Tab 4: Twitter
Tab 5: Youtube
Tab 6: Link to The 100/OITNB/HTGAWM/etc
Tab 7: Google (bunch of definitions as I write)
Tab 8: new tab
Tab 9: new tab (i forgot about the other one)
Tab 10: more definitions
Tab 11: song lyrics
Tab 12: ad which plays cheesy music (it takes me ten minutes to find this bitch and exit the page)
Tab 13: new tab
Tab 14: Hotmail
*realises that the computer is lagging and groans bc the cheesy music has started again and it's gonna take years to find that fucking tab*
*angrily exits everything*
*realises that she forgot to click save story on wattpad*
*shrugs*
*cries/howls on the inside*
*starts again*
Tab 1: Wattpad
...

I just feel like this is the prelude to chaos. There's no doubt that there's a lot of hatred out there right now and when it becomes clear that things are going to go from bad to worse the anger is going to fester and it's going to have some pretty dangerous consequences. Honestly, I'm not even

ladouchette’s Profile PhotoHerbie Sr.
going to feel smug when it becomes clear what a mistake it was to vote leave. And I love being a smug little shite. [A lot.]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's no satisfaction to come out of this because the devastation will affect us all, and even if we were to rejoin the EU (highly unlikely bc every country has to agree to let us back in and who would wanna associate themselves with snakes anyway), we'll never have the same position of power and respect that we did. I think we've lost more than just our economy and future. We've lost all respect in Europe, and I feel ashamed to even admit I'm British right now. I mean, you know it's fucked up when Donald Trump supports the cause. Btw, what is the dumb yute doing in our country anyway? America... come collect your boy. Now, please. We have enough wankers to deal with already.

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Liked by: Z sarah Rose Herbie Sr.

Who inspires you?

My English teacher. There isn't a person more compassionate and empathetic. I still feel like I'm dreaming every time I walk into my class because I can't believe that gems like her actually exist. She reminds me so much of Miss Honey from Matilda :')
Liked by: claire patty king night

TEMME ALL OF YOUR FAV. SHOWS! LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON! TGXSYHGSA

- Glee ❤❤❤❤❤
- How to Get Away with Murder *internal screams*
- American Horror Story
- Gogglebox (!!!!!!)
- The Flash *swoons*
- Game of Thrones (obviously)
- Orphan Black
- Attack on Titan (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
those are my all time favourites. i cant think of anymore off the top of my head but i know i missed some pretty big ones. i'll probably remember them later and hit myself for forgetting lols

I think that's very normal and with time you'll start to grow into it :-) It will, hopefully, and I'll pray for you xx How's everything else? Writing and such?

heroeic’s Profile Photozee
I havent written anything in so long that I've forgotten how to do it. tried to write yesterday and nothing happened.
i'm supposed to be preparing a creative writing portfolio for Warwick but everything I thought was good makes me want to cry innl frustration bc I've read so much great stuff since writing those stories but I dont have the skills to write in that way and I just feel like I've outgrown my old style but since I havent been writing lately I dont have a new style.... oh god... im having a writer's existential crisis!! i forgot how to write!!!!!

what's your relationship with your sibling(s) like? (if you have any)

I'm closest to my older sister (22). Mainly because we have similar interests (kpop, tv shows, fandoms, etc.) and she's very easy to talk when it comes to world issues. I really admire how aware she is of the world and her place in it. She's pretty awesome, but I've had the most arguments with her because we're both really hot-headed. Once I gave her the silent treatment for 4 months. We only broke the silence because Breaking Dawn part one came out haha.
My younger sister and I have been clashing recently. She's 16 (about to turn 17), so she's coming of age. The growth I've seen in her this past year has been immense. She used to look up to me a lot, but I think she's coming to realise that I'm really not that cool. I wish she'd talk to me more about her feelings, but I understand why she's hesitant about talking to me about things. I'm constantly worrying about her. I remember how wild I was at 17. I'm sure we'll get along better as the age gap between us seems to lessen. I do miss her innocence, though.
My brother and I have an interesting relationship. We respect each other's space very much. He treats me like I'm his older sister because I'm pretty mature. My mother used to spoil him a lot when we were kids so I used to be jealous of him because he used to get away with murder. He's 21 now and has definitely calmed down. We're not as close as I wish we could be, but it's okay because he gets along better with my sisters.

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I find it really irritating that practically every ask/wattpad user are following the trend of being anonymous and refuse to answer basic answers of themselves which is actually quite disheartening don't you want your fans to get to know you guys ????

fam if someone wants to keep their personal life private then you gotta respect that.

All I have to say to that is yikes. People like Farage really shouldn't be given any modicum of power. [Am I the only one who thinks YA authors should stop writing their dystopian novels and have a go at writing something truer to what we are seeing today?]

ladouchette’s Profile PhotoHerbie Sr.
I think it's hard to write something that is truer to today because the present is constantly changing, and since that change is really small it's very hard to document it in a novel where the story has to keep moving at a good pace in order for it to be good. Nobody wants to read a 400 page novel on today when they can just watch the news for 5 minutes and get a gist of what's going on, y'know? But if you're writing a YA dystopian novel with politics, power and politicians in mind (e.g. The Hunger Games trilogy) then you have to describe the extreme case in order to engage with a younger generation that just aren't that interested in politics, so that they're left with an impression of the worst. I feel like extreme case scenarios, like the one described in THG, are a good way to remind us that prevention is the best cure to any disease. Plus I think I'd much rather read about a Europe devastated by WW3 than experience it myself, because then I can form some idea of how to prevent it by avoiding everything the characters went through in that book. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I don't think YA dystopians are too much of a problem, but I do agree that YA authors need to stop jumping on the bandwagon because they think their book might sell more if it's dystopian.

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i'm in that stage where i think nothing i write makes is good and making sense. i love writing, but i feel like i'm so bad at it.

same here, but what sounds dreadful to you might be a beautiful melody to others. usually i get the best comments on the works that i hated the most, e.g. Float.
any writing is valid so just hang on to what you already have and push forward by writing more. most of what i write is complete trash but when i reread it a few days later i'm like "that's weird. this is actually pretty good. i can't believe i nearly deleted this." my theory is that if you write a lot, you'll strike gold sometime soon. maybe you should ask someone else to read your work and ask them what your strengths are and also ask them to give you tips on how to improve :)

Hey Kaddy, it's Sophie ? I just received my results today, and I decided to take English literature, and language. Do you have any advice on how to study for these subjects, because even though I got an A and a B in them, I'm worried I'll struggle with them. Thank you :,) x

S
You took both as separate A-Levels? Why not take the combined A-Level of English Language AND Literature?
The first thing I did was buy the York Notes for the text I was studying. You can get it on Amazon easily and it's basically a breakdown of the given text with notes on language, structure and form. It's VERY helpful. Look into it :D
Another thing I did was make notes as I read the text. I studied The Bloody Chamber so I looked up anything I could find online and used them as guidance when I made my own notes. I also made revision cards on characters and themes while we read the text in class.
To practice for the exam, it's best to make up essay questions. Try to predict what will come up but don't give yourself a headache. You're not a clairvoyant so you need to be prepared for anything, so do all the past papers under exam conditions just to make sure that you can write essays in the time limit. A lot of people don't practice their time management skills so they run out of time in the real exam. Avoid that by practicing under timed conditions(!!!!!) And make sure you include planning time. Nothing makes an essay more sloppy than poor planning (but then again I've never cared much for planning anyway).
As for the coursework, I actually did mine weeks before it's due. Your teacher will give you a few weeks to do it. Do not leave it till last minute. After class, go straight to the library and work on it while your teacher's tips are fresh in your mind.
That's all the advice I've got. Just do your homework/essays/coursework as soon as you can. I had free periods after all my English lessons this year so I went straight to the library and did my homework there. Sometimes I was super lazy and waited till I got home and an hour essay ended up taking 3 hours because I didn't know how to start or where to begin.
Good luck!

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Liked by: claire Carlin Rose S

Are there times where you find yourself unable to deal with all the shit that life throwing at you?

A L L T H E T I M E.
I get overwhelmed really easily and have to sit in a dark room with my forehead pressed to the floor to keep it all in. It gets really bad sometimes.
But I've realised that if I was okay yesterday then I'll be okay tomorrow. Emotions are like clouds. They pass after the rain.
So hang in there, friend. You may feel miserable right now but when the sun comes out I promise that you'll feel much better.
(When I get dark and terrible thoughts I like to write letters to myself. It's a really good, therapeutic way of dealing with overwhelming urges. You should try it. Works for anything.)
Are there times where you find yourself unable to deal with all the shit that

Advice for A levels?

You have come to the right place, my friend.
A-Levels are excruciating. The content won't be too hard, but the workload will kill you. Let me say it again so you understand clearly: it will kill you.
You have to know the game if you want to play. It isn't about who's the smartest anymore. Leave that mentality behind with you in Year 11.
From now on you have to do work. Everyday. Starting from September, make sure you study regularly. It doesn't have to be a lot of hours. An hour a day is cool. In fact, just use your free periods and then you can chill when you get home.
Consistency is the key. It's how I survived this year. That, and doing ALL my homework. Believe it or not, but homework actually has a purpose. I never knew that. Nobody ever told me that it was to help lessen the amount of revision I'd have to do later.
Also, when you don't understand something make sure you ask your teachers for help. Make sure you get it now while it's fresh in your head because the 5 minutes it'll take you now to figure shit out will become 5 hours the night before your exam. Just get it done and over with.
But my most important advice is this: DON'T CUT CLASSES. Just don't.
Remember:
1) Do your homework.
2) Revise regularly (start in September).
3) Do every past paper you can get your hands on.
4) Go to EVERY class.

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What should a real man be able to do?

A 'real' man?? A 'REAL' MAN?!
What is it with all these gender stereotyping bullshit? By what definition does a man suddenly lose his right to identify as one. At what point does a man become disqualified from identifying as one based on what his actions?
Y'all motherfuckers need to abolish all this gender stereotyping shit and stop degrading men who are brave enough to wear their emotions on their sleeve, or men who enjoy cooking and wearing makeup because this is 2015. And you, my friend, need to understand that all men are real men, and you are in no position to decide who can identify as a man and who cannot.
So fuck you. Take this shitty question and put it back up your arse so I dont have to see it ever again.

kaddy are you a Muslim?

My parents are, but I've fallen out of love with religion. I feel so awful saying that. I'd like to believe that there is a God out there. But I want to find Him on my own.
(Also, I am the most Haram kid to ever live so if I ever do commit to Islam then I am going s t r a i g h t to hell. Oh man, I'm am so screwed. Especially after reading the 'After' trilogy. Send me some zamzam water so I can cleanse my unholy soul.)

what is a story(ies) you're excited to write?

I was thinking of trying a hand at poetry some time soon but I've already started the story I had saved for camp nano this summer. It's called Pinky Promise and I'm REALLY looking forward to writing about two powerful female protagonists who are literally fire and fire put together. In fact, the main character, Holly, acts more like the antagonist throughout the story. Which I don't think I've really seen done before. You always see stories from the hero's POV but I want to challenge myself with writing from the "villain's" POV. And I also really want to explore the dichotomy between the rich and poor, and those whose ambitions are larger than life. Here's the cover for it:
what is a storyies youre excited to write

In which book you named ur MC Sam?

JustTellievision’s Profile PhotoEllie (ellion)
*awkwardly laughs*
I wasn't fibbing when I said that I won't direct you to read any of my stories. Everyone who has read that particular story found it by chance; and surprisingly, wondrously so, they found that story when they needed it most. If you're perfectly okay with who you are as a person then it won't be your cup of tea; but if you're like the rest of us and you're struggling to hold the seams of your very existence together then maybe you'll like it.
But, uh, I know this is really weird and that most writers will jump at the chance to sell their story and bring in a larger audience but I just want you to find my stories when it suits you most, when you need me most. I'm not going to say, "Hey. Read [insert title name] and make sure you comment and vote and make another account to double my reads. And vote on that account, too. And comment. Don't forget to comment!"
So yeah. Just let me stay in my humble bubble because I'm so scared (f*cking shitting myself) that I'll get big-headed or egotistical. I've seen it happen before. So many writers on Wattpad freak out over the number of votes and comments and reads they have until they refuse to post chapters till they hit a certain number. It's sickening to watch. And after a year or two they ditch writing all together. Ego sucks the pleasure out of passion.
I never want to be that kind of writer. I write for me, and only me. And I write to word things I've never had the guts to admit or acknowledge: e.g. insecurities, vengeance, losing the plot completely, etc.
*exhales heavily*
Phew. I've had that mini-rant eating away at my system for the past two months since I won that Saving Elliot one shot competition. I just... I don't want to lose sight of what's really important. And something as little as promoting my own stories can escalate to, "Ugh. It's not fair. Why does So-and-So have twice as many readers as I do? I put in more time and effort.... blah, blah, blah."
Am I making any sense?
I'm not making any sense.
I'm sorry.
The story is called 'Listening to Lucas'. Just pretend you found it on your own bc my funny little heart will feel so much better.
(sorry you ended up on the receiving end of this rant. you're lovely, i swear.)

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