Making plans for the future… Or really, even just thinking about the future in too much detail. As someone who’s been chronically ill since childhood, I’ve always kind of been in survival mode, and focusing exclusively on taking one step at a time, sometimes even second by second. I really didn’t even think I’d get to go to high school, or college, or have a job, or do normal “adult” things, or travel, or anything… I didn’t plan for it either. 😅

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As a result, I have a hard time planning for my future to this day because a part of me still doubts I’ll make it to that point and I don’t wanna be disappointed. And my health is so unpredictable, I don’t like to make concrete plans in case they all fall through. I think it’s just how I’ve coped with it all. To be really honest, I think that anything related to my future will always be hard to some level. But hopefully, as time goes on, and my illness evolves, it’ll get better? I hope at least! 😬🥹

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