@Debris898

Meh!

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Is it too much to ask for constant attention from your partner in a relationship?

AhmadBakheitMndo’s Profile Photo∆HMED
Nope, and there is no shame ever if you tell your partner about it and be completely honest and open to each other. I mean this is a comfort zone and you get to let out whatever goes on in your mind and if it's not like this, you are with the wrong person.

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Debris898’s Profile PhotoMeh!
At some points of my life, I feel completely lost.. In absolutely nowhere, not feeling anything.. Just powerless and empty.. Life is just a big tempting meal, but I'm anorexic.. I always wonder what I could do to fix it, but my mind goes paralyzed.. Because it has been processing too much to the point that it cannot anymore.. My mind is like an ocean and my thoughts are creatures roaming down there but I have no control over them..
I'm not the best communicator at all -might as well be the worst- and I do bottle up.. Always bottle up till I get there.. I wish I could share before it is too late.. Unlike many people I think it just.. makes me feel worse; talking about the stuff I have been ignoring for long and trying to get myself as busy as I can so at the end of the day I'm just too tired to think of anything.. Although it has worked enough, I think it is becoming less efficient.. Maybe in couple of month it would not work at all..
So, I kinda thought of sharing, maybe not real sharing but at least letting some clutter out of my head..
I am kinda considered a tough person, and I do approve that.. But it's just not how people see it.. And I have no intetion to explain it.. But the point is that I cannot express myself.. It's just a reminder to me, maybe I would push myself to do it better but whatever..
I think that every single person has passed through my life in a way or another has taken a part of me.. I have always claimed that it is nothing and I don't care -and that is what I feel then- but it really matters.. It's not like I regret losing anyone, not even regretting anything at all.. But I just become less social and avoiding people no matter how much they try to get close; even the ones who are already close.. Other times I feel like I did put some effort into this or that relashionship and I shouldn't have because I just cannot go on like this, but I keep surprising myself.. I think I'm good but I am just in the wrong environment.. Or maybe vice versa! It actually does not matter..
My soul is just shattered, so are my dreams, although they have never been attached to certain places or people, at least I thought so..
I'm not broken in pieces so I can get my shit together and keep going on, those pieces of mine are in graves, over the seas, lost communication with them, said goodbye to me, or even chased any of those.. All what I have got left are debris.. I do believe in myself and I know I can build something great out of the ashes.. I just need time, and time takes time.. I'm just afraid it would be so late.. So I just writting this to remind my debris that they could be something.. Even it's gonna be too late, I would be proud of my self that I made it all this way.. I would not regret that I am just too helpless and feckless.. I deserve a break..

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