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Have you ever had a lot of money? What did you spend them on?

I am about to get a “huge” heritage of 5 million euros from a dying lady in Nigeria. It has been a bumpy road, but I can almost taste them now. So close.
First, I had to pay my lawyer for his trip here. Unfortunately, the authorities arrested him at the airport for attempting to launder money, so I had to bribe them.
After that, when he got out of prison, he got kidnapped. So I had to save his ass once again. Poor guy. Lawyer Saul Goodman, the guy from “Breaking Bad,” for god’s sake. I love that series.
But those kidnappers were the nicest people you could find. They told me I could keep the bag with the 5 million euros if I only paid them a few thousand euros for a new AC. Their hostages had been complaining about the dry air there. The bargain of my fucking life. They told me they knew how it was to live without money. You know you are poor when people in fucking Africa want to give you money. A big fucking shout-out to them. If you want to be kidnapped, contact those guys.
Anyway. When they released Mr. Goodman, he had to go to the hospital after suffering from a heart attack. Yeah, I cried too. I asked his doctor if there was anything I could do, and he told me that there was, actually.
They had to bring in an experienced cardiologist from abroad, so it cost extra to get him there. Otherwise, there was an 80% chance that Mr. Goodman could die.
Well, so I paid for his salary and flight. And since he hated to fly, I paid extra for a first-class ticket. It was a serious surgery, so the doctor couldn’t stress enough how important it was that this guy felt relaxed. Luckily, this doctor knew of a magnificent hotel. Like the doctor asked me:
“What is money compared to the inner peace of saving someone’s life?”
Shout out to Dr. Frankenstein's monster as well. I’m sorry. Dr. Frankenstein's cousin. I thought he said, “Dr. Frankenstein,” but only an idiot would have believed that. Didn’t Dracula kill him a long time ago? No offence to stupid people, but I feel sorry for you.
Now, he is on vacation—it’s a doctor’s order. I have paid for a few relaxing weeks on the Samoan Islands, and whenever he feels cured, he will deliver my money.
All this cost me a shitload of money, so I had to sell my house. But since I don’t own a house, I sold my friends' house. Oh, boy, they will be in for a surprise when they return from vacation. They think I’m watering their flowers. I did. Until I sent them to the hospital in Nigeria with a “get well soon” card for Mr. Goodman. There is no need to panic. I will repurchase it when he arrives here with my money.
Before publishing this, I got a message from Mr. Goodman: Unfortunately, he and his luggage went on different flights.
But coincidentally, he lives at the same hotel as Ace Ventura’s older brother, Big Case Ventura, and his nephew,Trace Ventura. I must leave because I need to pay for their flight to Paris.
Thankfully, I will get all the money back again when they sue the airport.

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Have you ever had a lot of money What did you spend them on

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