Everytime people say that they adore my independence, I just smile at them like I’ve heard it a hundred times. But at the back of my mind, there’s always this long pause—thinking of how sad it is that people adore me for my independence not knowing it was a defense I’ve come up with for my trauma of abandonment. You know, when you’ve been through a lot and no one was there for you, when people are used to you being the one needed rather than you needing someone, they tend to make you believe that you can handle everything on your own. And soon enough, even when you still don’t believe it, you learn to just accept it and live with it. When you have no one you learn to completely rely on yourself. You learn to build this extreme independence and master the life of not needing anyone. And since that’s the case for me, I always find it hard to consider their words as compliment.
Its better not to share anything with anyone. They won't get you but they'll act like they do understand what you trying to say. So shut up and be safe alone.
Always check your own attitude too. It's not always the world around you, sometimes you are the toxic person. Understand that you make mistakes and can hurt people. Apologise, unlearn & relearn, that’s growth. Understand that there are things you need to work on, that’s enlightenment, striving for continuous improvement, instead of faking perfection!
I wish I could allow me to have a single person to whom I could trust completely and tell every single inconvenience happen in my life without any connection, dependency, relation, attraction, fear or judgement, without bonded with anyone without talking and without even getting a person.
Its impossible to find a person like you are looking for ;( hamkou bhi chaiye bohat akele hue we ham.
What qualities are you looking for in your life partner?
The best thing about being authentic is that there is no image to maintain. You will delight some and disturb others and none of it will concern the truth of your being.