Heather♡.

No? Okay.
I lost a relative a month ago,i'm lost,i don't know where i am or who i need.
I read a speech at the funeral,went up with my big cousin,she broke down,i took over keeping it all in. I watched my whole family cry. Including my parents. I cryed too,as you would. I went to my grandads chapel with my family a few days after he died,then a few weeks after,before the funeral,i went with nan and my cousin. They broke down,nan was in hysterics.
I fell out and broke up with the love of my life,heartbroken and hurt. Not that she cares,lol.
I have my own personal problems as well as bullying and mental problems nobody would understand. All this within the matter of a few months (other than bullying,had that my whole life).
Yet i smile:). Did you know that about me? I bet you didn't. So before you judge me,take some time to get to know me.

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For somebody to self harm it takes a lot. I mean,who self harms cos they want too? I know people get called attention seekers for it,but do you know them? Do you have any idea what they've been through? No. So what gives you the right to judge them. Bullying,cyber-bullying,blackmail,family problems,general problems..we all have them,we all deal with it in different ways. Some may cut,some may harm theirselves in a different way,some may do the butterfly challenge. There are loads of ways to stop it,whether its making a promise to somebody you love,or challenging yourself. I know it's a addiction,trust me. I know it's hard to stop,but i also know you can do it.
I had a mate (we're not so close anymore and i won't mention their name) she cut a lot. She needed help. Seriously,she'd send me pictures of her arms and legs and ask me for help,this girl was older than me by a few years. We was so close,she'd tell me anything. But the scars and cuts on her arms,she started losing friends,so she did it more. I told her it'll all be okay,it'll get better,but at that time she didn't believe me,who would? It feels great at the time doesn't it? To let it all go by hurting yourself. I told her something about me nobody knew,nobody. I told her so she knew i trusted her and so she would know i'm a trustworthy person,so she knew i was a friend she could trust. From then on she trusted me,she told me everything and i helped her through it. We did it together,me and her. She's now moved on with her life and she's successful,just that the scars on her arm that will forever be there.
Do you want that? When you grow up,you'll have scars up your arms,scars covering your body,having to wear long sleeved tops because they covered it up. Yes,we get people that show them off,but maybe that's a cry for help. Maybe they need help and they need someone to be there. By telling them they're attention seekers or they should cut more. How do you think they'll feel?! How would you like it. It fucking hurts. And it's fucking disgusting.
For all you going through this,loving,caring,hiding it from your family,smiling so nobody sees your pain,getting on with life etc..You're so fucking strong! You have my respect. I'm always here and always will be,i'm on this most of the time. One quote i'll never forget? 'It may be stormy now,but it can't rain forever.' Keep it up fighters and stay strong<3.

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