poppy:)))))

his personality most off all. The texts he sends randomly whilst i'm at school telling me he loves me, that's pretty cute tbh :')) but when i'm not feeling good, like ill or sad he'll send me a paragraph on how much he loves me and how he thinks the world of me. Spending the weekends with him is just the best, like curled up on the sofa with him cuddling whilst watching some rubbish on t.v is the best, the way he strokes my hair whilst he's cuddling me, it's so nice that the last time he was doing it, i fell asleep -_- He's bought me a valentines card too, which i'm soooo happy about, it'll be my first ever valentines card i get from anyone and it's better because it'll be from my actual first love. You don't understand how excited i get to see him. Like next time i see him, i think we're going for a walk somewhere but yeah, i love just holding his hand and walking along with him it's probably the best thing ever. I love how when we're with each other we can be ourselves and be goons together.. I love how when he told me the cat was better than me i pretended to be stroppy with him and i told him to shhh but he just gave me a really big cuddle and aww that was cute and when it was freezing and we cuddled up under the blankets together and just layed there for a while :) so yeah, you can see what his personality is like... it's amazing, i love that. and he's soooo funny too.
I also love his build, i don't know why but yeah. i love that he wears beanies, i love it when boys wear them. The fact that he can play guitar, i think that's cute. i think he's gorgeous too, like really hot. Just the way he is... i feel so lucky to have him.

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I know exactly how you feel, we've both been in the same position, feeling the exact same. This doesn't sound stupid at all.
I know cutting is difficult to come out of but you just need to do things when you're feeling depressed to take you're mind off everything, such as writing in journals, letting it all out into the paper. I thought that was helpful. But other people find that strategy not so good and it makes them think about it more so instead of writing why you want to cut and how you feel, write about the good things that have happened during the day. It'll make you realise that there is reasons to be here.
Sometimes it's better to listen to upbeat music because it makes you more happier not sad slow songs like Lana Del Rey, something more fun.
But there is so many more people in the same position as you are and you are all so strong. You are all so beautiful and amazing characters and just because you can't deal with emotions in the same way as other people, it does not make you any different. You will get through this because there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I guess, right now you're thinking that this isn't true but there is and you'll always come out so happy in the end.
It might take months or maybe a year or maybe no where as near that long but at the end of the day you'll get through it.
You are loved and you should be alive, god didn't put you here on earth for no reason, just fight through this. :-))
People are always going to be there for you, your family and friends. You aren't alone. You just don't realize right now there is people who won't give up on you. I wont either! Inbox me on facebook and i'll give you more and more help.
I bet you're absolutely stunning and i think you're a princess for trying to fight this and coming forward and speaking about this.
It seems to me like you do have depression but i can't decide for you. You need to open up to your parents about this if you haven't already told them. I was scared of telling my mum and even though she was upset about it she was there with me 100% and she made me feel so much better, infact, she was the one to make me stop.
Even if you don't have a Mum, turn to anyone, a friend, a teacher, a career. They are all here for a reason and they will support you and stand by your side.
Just tell an adult and they'll go with you to these special doctors who will give you counselling sessions (which will help a lot when you let it all out to them) and if they think so... they'll also diagnose you with depression.
But please, just realise you really are not alone and so many people do love you. You can even speak to me on facebook and i'll help you to the best of my ability!

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