Well… Here’s what I know about this topic (and of course, this is largely from an American perspective).

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Throughout history, various foods were categorized as rich or poor people’s food due to price or quantity, or both. Like, for example, lobster, back in the day, was deemed “poor people food” because there was so much of it at all times, that it was fed to prisoners amongst many others, and was even referred to as “poor mans chicken”. 🥴 A modern day example I know of is that something like instant noodles here in the US, is referred to as “poor people food” (whether it’s jokingly or not, I think depends on who is saying it) because it’s typically super cheap, and notoriously what broke college students eat a lot. And also, a lot of heavily processed foods, in general, tend to be cheaper than whole foods that contain more nutrients, which is why many low income households largely rely on them to get by, sadly.

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However, it seems that this varies between countries and is not a “one size fits all” situation. And that likely goes for many cultures too, depending on what food prices are, and what is traditional to eat for those people. The cultural side is not something I have really any knowledge on though, so I’d need to read up on that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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If we’re getting real technical about it, I guess you could label any food/dish as being primarily for “rich” or “poor” people depending on who has the most access to it, or who relies on it the most. But I’d say the classification of “poor” food by rich people is likely more prominent because rich people can basically afford any food they want, whereas poor people, sadly, cannot. 🤔 And even more sad than that, rich people tend to look down on poor peoples lifestyles in general… They harshly critique a poor persons food choices without having a single clue what food insecurity feels like, and to not have enough money to be certain that they’ll even get a meal that day. Or to have to ration the little food they have, and stretch it for days or maybe longer, in order to make to their next paycheck, or get food stamps, etc. But, they don’t care about that, cause they eat anything they please… So they just turn their nose up and judge unfairly. 😒

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So, I think, technically, can foods be classified in those ways? Yes, because depending on where you live, and what you commonly eat/can afford, you might view other foods outside of that to be out of your range, or notice that it is marketed towards a different segment of the population than you. Is it good that this happens? No, not at all. Is it absurd? Yes. But it doesn’t stop it from continuing… Cause even I grew up hearing people around me use that terminology fairly regularly. 😅

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My most memorable field/study trip was actually for physics class. 😂

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When I was in trade school, I didn’t really have field trips, honestly. Like, yes, there were opportunities to sign up for and do various things outside of the school, but it wasn’t a class trip! It was like 2 or 3 people doing something together. And sadly, I didn’t really take any of the opportunities that popped up… Which is a big regret of mine now. I honestly wish I hadn’t let those slip by, cause some of them were really cool. 🥲

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Anyway, back to physics class, we had this huge project that involved physics of rollercoasters, which meant we spent ALL DAY at an amusement park for “science.” 🥳 It was an absolute blast, and we didn’t have to stay together as a class either, the teacher let us go and be with whoever we wanted. So I paired up with someone I had barely talked to leading up to that point, and we had such a great time, talking, laughing, filling out all the information we needed in between rides, etc.

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It was like having a best friend for a day (considering after that, we basically never spoke again, no real reason, just didn’t have a chance to 😅😂). But, we ended up walking like 25k steps that day, and completed the homework before we left, so we had a whole weekend to just relax afterwards. 😌

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(Please excuse the low quality photo, this was from AGES ago). 🙈

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I think the biggest difference in my reality vs other people is how I’m able to function (or not) day to day. Like, as a chronically ill person, my reality looks basically the opposite of most people I know who are around my age.

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Many people I’m friends with for example, have so much going on all the time, jobs, school, social life, relationship, travels, etc. I don’t really have that, and if I do, it’s like one or two of those things, not all of them. 🥲 My body really doesn’t handle excessive stress or transitions well, so I have to balance out my energy by forgoing many more opportunities than I’d ideally like, just so I can have somewhat of a chance of feeling okay. 😅

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It’s certainly not how I envisioned my life playing out, but I’ve been dealing with this reality for so long that this really is my normal, and likely will be forever. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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One thing I won’t do though, is hold unrealistic expectations that my reality should look like anyone else’s… I’ve done that too many times and it always deeply upsets me. 🥺 Yes, I still have my bad days, and days where I compare myself to others, but instead of allowing those thoughts to spiral, I try to approach things from the same perspective that I would with a friend or family member. Aka, show grace, compassion, and understanding for my own feelings.

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Also, I remind myself that my reality doesn’t have to be black and white, and it isn’t. I can be both upset that this is where I’m at, but also deeply grateful to have the current life that I do. I love aspects of my reality, I can remind myself of why, when all I’m focusing on is how much better everyone else’s is. There’s so much nuance to everyone’s reality that may not be visible to you, and I think we have to remember that before we compare ourselves. 😯

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Ehh… Maybe. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Like, if they are jealous to the point that they get angry, lose their temper, try to control how long I hang out with someone/who I hang out with, or are just prone to unhealthy coping skills when dealing with jealousy, then no I wouldn’t date or marry them. It’s not a relationship I’d want to be in. 😬

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BUT, if they came to me and said something along the line of: “Hey, I’ve been missing you and would love to spend some extra quality time you. It sometimes makes me feel upset/jealous when I don’t get to see you much. What do you say we set some time aside and enjoy each others company?” THAT would be something I’d be more than willing to work through, and we could absolutely navigate that in a healthy way.

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For me, it’s not so much the jealousy itself that’s the problem, I think it is a fairly normal thing to feel… And I’ve felt it too, trust me. But it’s more so the way people act/speak when they’re jealous, because it’s such a powerful emotion at times. It can be hard to speak of jealous feelings with a partner in a way that is both clear and intentional, but also, approached with care and love. 😅 So I think if both me and my future partner feel comfortable and confident enough in each other to navigate those feelings in such a way, I’d have no problem at all. 😄

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I think it’s largely a societal thing that people feel almost pressured to say that. Like, society places so much value on having children, and people can really feel a lot of pressure to start a family, even when it’s not what they truly want. It’s always “WHEN will you have kids?” 🙄 Not “Hey, what do you think about having children? Is that something you picture for yourself? How do you feel about becoming a parent?”

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I feel like it’s just an automatic thing that people expect… “You grow up, you get married, you have kids.” End of story. And it just doesn’t work like that for many people. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think that expectation can be quite… harmful and very presumptive. Also, it’s just rude to ask people that. Consider this: Can the person you asked have biological kids? What would be the risks/complicating factors if they were to get pregnant? How would having children impact the life they currently lead or would like to live down the road? Is it safe for them to be pregnant? Like, there are so many questions to consider before jumping to that conclusion. So to me, I think people use that phrase as a way to get people to stop asking, or assuming they even want children right off the bat. Even though, they shouldn’t even have to do that, or explain themselves to others. If they don’t want kids, respect that, don’t pressure them to the point they feel they have say stuff like “I h*te kids.” 🥴

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I’ll say for myself, I don’t h*te kids by any means… But, I absolutely despise being asked “when” I’ll have children or that I “should” have them by now. 😑 I don’t particularly want to think about that at this point in my life, to be fair. I have lots of other things I want to do before I think about being a mother, and more than that, if I truly WANT to be a mother. To be frank, I don’t even know if I can get pregnant (due to medical reasons), nor do I know if it would be even be safe for me or the baby. So… yeah, it’s something I personally have to grapple with. I just think it can be/is a sore spot for a lot of people, and not everyone wants to address that topic. And at least if they say something like that openly, people tend to back off. That’s my logic anyway. 🤔

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I definitely did change/be more careful with my words in the past. I also hid various aspects of myself that I thought may be considered “weird” (which, looking back, I wish I hadn’t… if they date me, they’d see that side of me inevitably, anyways). 😅 I’d say my approach was that I wanted to be the absolute best version of myself at all times for them, so I could appear a certain way, in hopes they’d find me more interesting, attractive, etc. I also, tried to hide my “baggage” per say to make myself seem healed and so self aware. Even though, I knew deep down, if they really got to know me, that facade would always break. 😶

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Needless to say, I have a very different approach now…

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I think allowing yourself to be “quirky” and/or vulnerable about the parts of you/your personality that maybe you hesitate showing, really helps in the talking phase. I’m not saying you should allow people access to the most intimate, deepest parts of you immediately. I’m saying, share an interest you have that maybe you don’t normally speak of. Or share a little personality quirk you have. Allow yourself to be less rigid, you don’t have to always be in the best light for someone to like you. You’re human, you’re complex, it’s okay to show that. 🤗 It’s easier said than done, I know… BUT, I really think those little vulnerable moments are important and valuable.

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And, like I mentioned before, if they are actually going to date you at some point, they will see/learn those things regardless… So, in my opinion it’s nice to just start slowly shedding those layers we put on for the world, so the person who we want to be with can see who we truly are. It not only helps them feel good enough to do the same for you, but it helps you to feel at peace and completely comfortable with being yourself in the long run, assuming you do pursue the relationship.

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Personally, I’ve found it’s worth having those anxious moments, just to find out someone I like was actually charmed by that side of me, or they related to it in a way I couldn’t have predicted, or if nothing else, just showed me genuine interest and non-judgement. You never know, it really can be the tiniest things about you that can make someones heart swoon. 🥰 It can be very fulfilling and rewarding to be bold and step into yourself like that, even when it’s scary. I think that’s the beautiful thing about getting to know a potential partner. You both get to see all the little things that makes one another undeniably human, and still find yourselves loving each other more and more. 💗

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I think it’s inexcusable. It’s one of the most selfish, disrespectful, harmful things you can do to someone you claim to love. 😒 I will never understand people who cheat, nor the multitude of excuses they make up for why they do it. None of them are believable, and all of them just further show how much you don’t care about the person you cheated on.

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I’ve said this before but I’d rather someone straight up tell me that they don’t love me, and break up with me on the spot, instead of cheating on me. At least, then I’d know they were a decent enough person to tell me how they truly felt. I could heal from that. Finding out there’s already someone else in the picture and they didn’t think I was deserving of so much as an explanation is traumatic and scarring. Once someone cheats on me, they don’t get to tell me they love me, or that they ever loved/respected me that much even before cheating, because their choices tell a different story. 🙄

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I’ve always had a very, very strong reaction to that stuff because I just cannot fathom hurting someone like that. And while I’ve never been cheated on personally, I know of many that have, and every time it happens, it’s just as infuriating as the last time. 😡

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