Laura

I've actually thought about this before, in reflection of past "relationships" if you can call them that, I feel like maybe I'd convinced myself how to fall for that person and it was actually me falling in love with the idea of love, commitments, memories and someone there to take care and give you affection. Looking back, I think maybe that was the case because I don't blink an eye now about people that I "supposedly" felt something for, so maybe it was just the idea of having that company and form of affection because all of the "pasties" all wanted one thing which I refused every single one of them and maybe that's because there was no true feeling there and maybe because part of me realised that I was just an object to them from the start which makes me wonder if I just went along with it because I was relying on their company or it was actually the idea of love and being in love I was focused on?

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My relationship now I know for a fact and feel that it's not love just in one moment, I'm overly emotional and my emotions have heightened which tells me that I do feel in love and that its not just because I'm obsessed with the idea or feeling because the last few years things have happened, change has happened and I got to know myself more without anyone else's help before we got together. I couldn't be more smitten than what I am in this relationship, it feels like we're the same person and we have a lot in common and I learn something new about him everyday. I don't think I'd feel comfortable like I amenity him, around anyone else because he's gotten to know me and hasn't left me once in the almost two years that we've been together! I'm very territorial and protective of him because I like to be selfish that way, I don't like any other female giving him attention (thats not his female friends) and I get annoyed if people joke about him but in a way that comes across insulting even if its his class mates. I've grown more attached to him (as soppy and cliché as it sounds) and the depth we know about each other is very personal. so much so that I'm hugely comfortable enough to share with him that level of personal secrets or issues I have because we have that great sparky connection and bond! :') ??

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Well I don't think people can really see that as being the case anymore even if it is true. Reason being that nowadays there are young children and teenagers being influenced in negative ways which end up causing, transmitted diseases, pregnancy, miscarriage, aggressive behaviour and less respect for both and other genders! 1. Children are having to be taught sex education at a younger age now because of how young people are getting involved.
2. Children's bodies are still developing so being influenced or pressured into having intercourse literally will wreck their bodies or have negative impact on them because their body and organs aren't fully developed yet.
3. I think influences from others can cause less respect and consideration towards other by aggressive behaviour or language which could mean abuse, violence towards other genders or religious groups and loss of respect for their partners.
I don't think parents trust their daughter or son to be associating with boys or girls outside of public places so that the parents don't have to question what their intentions are. I mean if it were me I think I'd be the same, I would question the intentions when my son/ daughter reached a certain age where they start to get influenced more and develop and explore knowledge of certain things! I think it's just how people think about others in reflection to what they've done at that age and the consequences, I think sometimes its a good thing to warn them about the consequences and question their intentions because it could prevent mistakes being made and hurt caused. I think these are the reason to support those who question and frown upon males being friends with female to a certain extent and vice versa, I can see where they're coming from. Just like I can see why a boyfriend or girlfriend would be upset and questioning their partners friends intentions, it's all really to do with gender stereotypes and the typical actions of males and females which create this controversy of is it actually innocent or are there hidden intent enticing there.

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I think it's natural to try avoiding confrontations, fears and feeling uncomfortable, no one is truly that confident in that sense there's always something you'll try to avoid or block out! Personally I hate being put in extremely uncomfortable positions, I start to feel stressed, anxious and I feel threatened so I start being defensive. I used to find myself in many many uncomfortable and confrontational positions and that's when I realised what is the point, because I was getting myself upset over things that actually others were putting the blame on me and I hadn't done anything but I went through the trouble of having to back myself up, alone and ask others whether I'd been in the wrong but apart from admitting to me if done nothing wrong this wasn't the case of admitting that to those who put the blame on me. I hate confrontation it's just useless all that's achieved is getting angry, upset and having a right go at people which could end your relationship/ friendship/ connection with that person/ people! Literally I've lost so many "friends" and now I realise why because I was always being confronted by certain people and no one else would be a true friend and have my back or say to me 'do you know what maybe you are in the wrong for this reason...' And then explain to me. I have zero interest in confrontations now if you drag me into something be prepared to lose me as a friend or for me to stop putting effort in because when you're on the side of constantly having to defend yourself, your actions and words you end up feeling so restricted and like you just can't be you! I don't think people understand that confronting someone doesn't have to be so aggressive, negative and argumentative, you can simply just explain your side listen to what the other person is saying, try to come to an agreement or some reasoned conclusion and move on not cause problems from people, singling people out or being so aggressive towards others because you never know what your actions and words will consequently do to someone... You just never know!

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So yes I admit I do as much as possible avoid confrontations, fears and obstacles or tasks which I can't do but sometimes I will try and I will put effort in but it doesn't make me feel good or have positive effects on me.

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I live in Scotland, UK. It's mostly cold, wet, damp and windy here but nothing too extreme or major in terms of weather forecast, we will complain about the weather because its rotten for this area this is not including weather in other countries while complaining because I know some countries are far worse off so we should be a bit more grateful but I still like to complain because you never get one type of weather it's like four season in one day, every day of the week which is incredibly annoying at times! It's quite annoying when people from other countries ask what you do as a hobby as if they're expecting you to be wearing kilts 24/7 and sitting about in fields, amongst all of the cows and sheep? I don't know why people are under the impression that we don't do the same everyday thing as what they would in other countries and sometimes it almost seems insulting. A lot of people are also under the impression that Scotland is England... That just baffles me really its the same as Wales and dare I say it Ireland, people seem to think the UK is London and its all around London but its not all of these places are far from London! I wasn't too keen on London, I don't like the lifestyle or nightlife it disturbs what I'm used too and I didn't find that the people were too friendly- not saying there aren't nice, approachable people but the majority of people around me weren't really friendly or considerate they just rushed about to do their own thing. I was actually baffled to find pick pockets out constantly and having to be aware and cautious of your belongings at all times, I watched a guy studying my friend and he had his eyes glued to her backpack but he didn't take anything because I told her to be careful and made her aware! See I thought Scotland was bad for neds/ hooligans trying to steal things but in comparison to London it's really nothing, I was gob smacked when I realised just how conscious you have to be there, it's not a place you feel safe visiting and I felt that way both times I went to London. It's really quite intimidating! I definitely am glad to live in Scotland where the people in the centre (can only speak for the surrounding areas of where I'm from) are quite friendly, approachable and helpful. When times are hard we all come together to grieve, help out, do our best and sympathise. Scottish slang has to be one of the weirdest things/ accents foreign people will ever hear and I feel bad for those who attempt to understand it because it doesn't always make sense and it can seem like an insult or innuendo a lot of the time. :)

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- My necklace~ my boyfriend bought me this and gave it to me as a present so it holds very valuable meaning to me. I love it because its a heart, I like heart necklaces but I love that this necklace is simple and the design is simple but meaningful. One side of the heart has little diamonds on it and the other side is just the plain silver shaping, to me it's like two halves of the heart and that's how I feel about our relationship, he's the other and definitely the better half of my heart, who fulfils every weakness and makes me feel content at all times.

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- I think I mentioned this in one of my other questions but my ring is valuable to me, it was given to me by my mum and dad for one of my birthdays and since then I've never really taken it off! I really love this ring because its not all big, bulging and fancy, it's simple, meaningful and I find it most appealing!

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I could name more that having an importance or meaning to me but these two are two of my most important ones. :3

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My health is terrible, I have a weak immune system which means I'm very prone to catching the cold or infections etc and have them for a long period of time before it weakens and leaves my system! My family history is awful there's diabetes, asthma, heart problems, iron deficiency, dental issues, eye issues, glaucoma, very bad acne, hip and knee replacements, allergies, conjunctivitis, weak immune system, pains and the list could probably continue! I did find that after fainting they discovered I have a heart murmur which is a little hole that lets air out and echoes the beats of your heart just ever so slightly. Breathlessness runs in the family oh my goodness if I end up like some of my other family members my breathing will really annoy me! XD I always thought there was something wrong with me and I still do think that because I'm prone to fainting, getting all clammy, pale and sweaty which I thought could've been diabetes because it runs through quite a few family members, I thought it could be that or something to do with my iron intake but every blood test I've had done has come back clear with no signs of anything so I'm just a walking medical disaster! :)

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Yes this is a great question!!! I'm excited to answer this.
- I LOVE FOOD!
- I wouldn't be able to survive without food because its like my addiction!
- Chocolate is my life.
- I've always loved marshmallows,(when I was little) I used to imagine that scientists would go up into the sky on a jet and collect pink and white clouds to make marshmallows because of the colour and fluffy texture!
- When I was in nursery (kindergarten) when it was snack time I always used to finish my snack first then walk round the table with my little spoon asking the other children if they were finished and if I could have their leftovers... And so I did, it always amused the teachers too!
- I was such a greedy and hungry child!
- I have a specific memory of sitting in the corner of the dining room in my chair waiting to get custard because it was my favourite food then and I got so so excited when my mum brought it through!
- The ONLY time I'm really quiet is when I'm eating! XD.
- I'm such a foodie.
- I love most vegetable and majority of fruits!
- I prefer fish to meats or chicken, my taste buds have grown less fond of meats and chicken.
- I get really strong cravings for food and I cannot diet because after a good few months I see no improvement and go back to eating what I missed out on.
- Food is a great companion and healer of feeling down or bored!
- I'm literally addicted to food!

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Life isn't easy and for some people they feel rejected, oppressed, restricted, judged and unworthy so when they come online to sites like this I imagine they can escape all of the negative feelings pressured by society and life, and on here they can either be more of themselves or someone completely new. Now I don't encourage people to come online and pretend to be someone else it's not good for themselves first of all, a lot of people who do this and block out reality end up in trouble or causing huge amounts of trouble which could harm others! I think that it's just easier to be yourself behind a screen because if you're speaking to people miles away they won't really be able to judge you physically except from any pictures or fake pictures posted. I use this specific site because it helps me to express myself without having to build up inside, it helps me to think and overlook certain things and aspects of my personal life that maybe I'm not comfortable actually physically talking about! I find it hard to open up with people especially since my friends in the past haven't always been there for me or I felt neglected and abandoned by them when I needed them most- which is why I either don't open up or I almost open up too much so I've learned to manage opening up and closing off a bit better. I'm used to always closing off and feeling negative comments and I feel like sometimes strangers understand or give you better advice than close friends and relatives!
However, I think it's dangerous to include too much personal information because you're either going to get yourself in trouble or people will start to retaliate with negative comments such as being attention seeking. You don't want to make a bad impression to those who don't know you but you also want to be able to express your thoughts, feelings, interests and opinions. Basically I think people should be careful online and not be overly personal, don't include any details such as; your address, phone number, emails, password and any details relating to your bank! You never know who could be following or watching your profile online which is why I've held back on personal information on here- I don't want anyone to attempt to steal my identity (not that I'd be an attractive or appealing victim where it concerns photographs or personal details being copied or used by someone else!) I don't give out my Facebook to people because I have family members on there and wouldn't be happy for someone to go snooping around their accounts! Also not many people are able to add me on Facebook because I made my profile private to everyone that isn't on my friends list! I don't trust many people online but I don't come on to always make friends, I like to see other people's opinions and views on certain subjects and topics. The friends I have are sufficient enough and I'm happy with them for who they are, my intentions are not to come on here and feel like a cyber stalker searching for friends! ?

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I used to love writing and typing up stories on the computer (its like 10-20 years old so much so that the company went bust), I'd sit and think about what I'd like to right about and for some reason I always thought about starting it off with a character on a boat, no idea why I just always thought of that first? I loved imaginative writing in school because I had lots and lots of ideas and always found myself wanting to write a story on the themes/ topics I'd thought of. There was one year I wrote an imaginative story set on a boat (Once again...Boats) and the protagonist (main character) was on this boat because she was captured and taken slaves by a tribal group. I really enjoyed writing about that even though at the time I didn't fully understand just how terrible and shocking slavery was, I was about 9/10 when I wrote this so I was chuffed and my teacher was impressed! Now I tend to find myself writing poems because I've developed my expressions more and feel that poetry is one way to express yourself and how you feel about things. I'm not too good with the poems but I write despite them not being great or typical. At one point I started to write little captions of a story to go with my character sketches, I just took bits of how I saw them and gave them a background, journey and personality, to develop the character. I've noticed that over the years the more I learn about myself and connect with my feelings the more I write things and sometimes I think it helps me. c:

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Well I'm in college now, but in reflection there are things I found less useful which could've been improved or taken out as a subject. I think one of the most important subjects/classes that schools should offer is sex education, I know some schools do whereas maybe not so much in other schools. I know that sometimes this subject is merged into one subject like Personal Social Education which covers a range of valuable topics such as the dangers of using drugs, having unprotected sex, drinking and smoking. I think the subject should include mental health and disability awareness, money problems, gambling, how to survive on your own, how to go about finding or applying to jobs and I think that schools should offer more information to students about college and university courses. Obviously physical education is important but I think sometimes in my school I felt like sometimes we did the same activities/exercises in class about 2-3 times a week which would get boring after a while!. I think if they introduced dance as a form of activity to do it would maybe attract females to actually participate more in the class and enjoy it, also if any of the boys were serious and weren't doing it to make a fool then that could be more motivating than play netball, football, rugby, badminton, tennis or doing athletics! It's obviously important to have basic qualifications in Maths and English but I think maybe some of the teaching methods could be a bit more exciting like instead of constantly writing essays on books do maybe one essay on a film and the rest on a book or poem, I think it could be helpful that within maths they could do a lesson/class on money and how to handle it!
I do think its massively important to have the P.S.E (Personal Social Education) class and stress the messages across to children and teenagers about their health and safety in social and personal situations because there are far too many young teenagers and children ending up pregnant or mixed into things they shouldn't be because their bodies are still growing so these things like pregnancy, drugs, smoking and alcohol they aren't good for their health and may cause problems now or in the future!

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I'm not too keen on candles, however my mum loves candles she has lots around the house she's almost obsessed with them! I decided that I'd get her little candles for her birthday and surprisingly I did quite like the smell of them, I think the scent was winter punch.
I do like rings I got this ring, simple band for my birthday a good few years ago and since then I've worn it everyday, the only time I've taken it off was when going for a shower I never liked getting it wet because its valuable to me and I love the simplicity of it which makes it that bit more special! I'm not too keen on big attachments blushing out from the band maybe a simple design like a butterfly or heart but not anything like big diamonds- in that sense I'm quite simple I'd rather have a cheaper ring band with simple designs rather than an expensive blushing ring that would seem like a waste of money to me! :)

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Everyone had different perspectives and opinions so its really what you, yourself thinks and feels, if you believe there is a heaven and hell then there is, everyone is entitled to their own thought whether it be wrong, right or simply a guess! I personally find it hard to think about now because I lost faith a while back which has influenced my own opinion and thoughts about things like that! Sometimes I would question why bad and horrible, horrible things would happen to good people if there was a God to divide and separate good from bad, I mean that's what I was told from my Sunday school teachers that God would punish those who didn't follow his plan or who acted recklessly. I don't understand how if there's a God which many people do believe, why are good people punished as a result of the people who are cruel, guilty, full of sins, hateful, destructive, violent and who act very terribly around the world, when does God play a part and stop the violence, hate and punishing a of those who do nothing but hurt, destroy and kill people? I didn't and still don't understand which is why I've lost my own faith in Christianity but I still try to respect those who are still involved and influenced by religion like Christianity and I will take time out to respect their time of prayer even if I don't understand or have lost faith, it doesn't mean I don't respect those people who are religious! I think it's just your own preference and experiences that influence your beliefs and passions. ??

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