@smashthepie

effy

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Since you're active at this timing , describe fir

fir is a very very very funny and annoying person HAAHA jk my best pal!??! my #1 advicer, alw there to cheer me up alw there to make me happy, alw tries to make me happy even if he failed sometimes but he's always there for me HAHAAHAH he's like a big brother to me ah love u man u da best of the bestest xoxoxoxo

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What is your ideal type of guy?

haha nothing much just share the same interest in music as me and someone chill and understanding thats all i dont expect much rly

Hahah.

dudeee ure making no sense at all, just bc i dont play soccer, im not "bae material'? and wtf is "bae material" LOL i may not have any idea about soccer but trust me, my ex is a soccer player and i support him in everything he does, win or lose, im his #1 supporter. coz u dont even have to be a soccer chick to be what bae material shit, god

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smashthepie’s Profile Photoeffy
he's a really nice guy, and i was really extremely lucky to have known him. he makes everything alright for me, thru good or bad, we pushed through. but im fucked up on the inside, and sometimes i push him away, i ignore him and sometimes, i even start a stupid argument over something so silly, and i expect him to apologize. thats how messed and fucked up i am. he never once complained about it, he never once gave up, i gave up thrice. i lost myself to the whole darkness thingy, i let myself get beaten down by those stuffs thats haunting me. i left because i didnt wanna drag him down with me, he's such a nice person, and the thought of me giving him these whole lot of bullshit is ridiculous. he doesnt deserve this, he doesnt deserve me, he deserves someone else. and now he already has someone else, and its hurting me because if i had known, i would not let depression take over me, i would just stay fucking strong and fight all these problems with him, but im not strong. im fucking weak, i cry at the smallest of things and i give up easily... lets get this straight, shall we? i know i'll end up alone. i know he'll leave me too and thats not a surprise, cause no one will stay next to me. im complicated. im mean. i push people away. i argue alot. i tend to act like he is shit to me, but he isnt. i love him so fucking much it hurts. i am a mess and this whole break up thing is not his fault, its mine. and people have been blaming me for letting him go and regretting my ass once he found someone new, and honestly, im alr blaming myself... so yall dont have to rub it in. sometimes we are not given a choice to do the things that we choose to, choices make us, and all i can say for now is i just wanna leave everything behind, keep all of the memories in a shoebox under my bed and never take it out. alif was a blessing to my life, he's also a lesson learnt. and tbh, i dont think i will ever find someone who will stay despite all the bullshit i gave him, and i dont think i will fully ever move on, some people are just meant to leave prints in ur heart haha

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Liked by: nat. SASHA Mia Adzlan

Are you still in love with him?

i used to be, but not anymore. look, people change over a certain period of time, he changed, i changed. we both changed. whatever we had in the past is nothing compared to how we are now, i became distant and cold towards him, because idw to hurt myself anymore. he got someone else, so why am i still needed here? i'll be there for him in his darkest days, but i bet the first person he will talk to is her, followed by me. idw to continue talking to him cause its only gg to hold me back from moving on and getting over the past, and i dont think his new girl will like that too. i just wanna be happy with my life and i hope he'll be happy with his. its stupid yknow? u hang on to that one thing that hurts u, and i've been doing that and i just wanna let go. i keep picking up the broken pieces and i hurt myself in the process, and i think my heart is damaged enough. so for the time being, me and alif is nothing. strangers with just some memories, okay, maybe friends, just friends. please dont ask me anymore questions regarding him and the past, cause honestly i really wanna look forward, and i hope yall respect my decision. xx

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Language: English