#stayathome

I can't say what my ideal future would be like. Right now what I'd like to happen.. to be with my best friend who I'm in love with, she's already aware but it's a complicated situation. (I don't think it'll end up happening, but we're talking hypothetical right?!) I'd like to figure out what I'm doing career-wise. I'm stable now, but I'd struggle to raise a family on my current income. Now that I'm thinking about it, I really just want my future to be happy. I'm not unhappy, but there is always room for improvement!
One thing I'd really like to have is a job that fulfills one of my passions, a job where I want to start working at and mayhaps never ever stop again. Sure, money is a thing to look at, but experince is everything to me. When I don't do what I like, I feel like I wasted some precious time of my life. And I never ever want to need to say that I wasn't enjoying something I did, because I want to live my life to the fullest.
Another thing I want in my future is to be able of just entering a bar, sitting down at the piano and playing it effortlessly, so good, that I provoke a standing ovation. And yeah, there is that romance thing too. I just want somone to be by my side. I don't think I will ever be capable of marrying someone. Not to mention family and kids. I'm not sure wether I wants children or not.
In my most perfect ideal future, I would be rich, a stay-at-home mother with 6+ children, and maybe with a husband. Living in Europe (France, England or Germany) in a nice house. Once all my children are 6+ years old (or 5+ if we're in England), I'll go back to work, but part-time if I'm in Germany (mornings only). Then during lunch, I have a lunch date with my children, since apparently in Europe, your child can get out of school during lunchtime.
In my more realizable ideal, I'm a single mother with two or three children. Location still a unknown, since it would depend on which decision I take now (right now I'm hesitating between staying in Germany or moving back to the US or Canada). I am someone who works with either deaf/deaf-blind children, or children experiencing behavioral difficulties. But, I would work in a school, just so I can have the same breaks as my children. No cars, just bikes. We'd be the type of family who would go to the museum at least once a week, go to the park every afternoon after dinner, and who would have lunch in a café from time to time. I want to be directing a movie with my SO one day and flying over to sign my books the next. I want to fly to conventions every month where I get to see people's cosplays of my characters and talk about creative processes. I want to be bringing my kids to movie sets. I want to walk into a meeting with all my artistic friends were we spitball ideas because we're ALL working as a team. But most of all, I want to know that at least one person out there felt a little less lonely or a little less hurt because one of my stories helped them.

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I'm only studying at the moment, which came about after I separated from my husband at the beginning of the year. After years of depending mostly on his income, the separation made it necessary for me to learn to stand on my own feet and find independence, and a big part of that involved job hunting after being a stay-at-home parent for more than 4 years. That lead me to a job fair, where I found a kiosk run by a community initiative to upskill unemployed people to get them back into the workforce. One of the courses they were funding was a Certificate III in Early Childhood Education and Care, and I was one of the lucky dozen or so people to be selected for the funding. With how things are going, I won't be able to start looking for jobs within the sector until a third of the way into 2022, but that's okay; I'm just glad I'm finally doing something for myself after years of deluding myself into thinking that I was okay with my sole purpose being who/what I could be for my son and now-ex.

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Lieber Oskar, gerade Personen des öffentlichen Leben haben für viele eine Vorbildfunktion. Viele sind sich dessen nicht bewusst. Wer nur etwas propagiert und dann, wenn diese Person es selbst umsetzen müsste, sich anders verhält, zeigt: Es war nur ein Lippenbekenntnis. Es war eine Modeerscheinung, um gut bei den Fans anzukommen. Es ist ein typisch menschliches Verhalten, mehr von anderen zu verlangen, als von sich selbst. Eigentlich sollte es genau anders herum sein. Wer etwas propagiert und selbst sich nicht daran hält, verliert an Glaubwürdigkeit. Wer dieses öfter macht ist meines Erachtens nicht glaubwürdig und verliert sehr stark an Respekt. Traurig, das auch unsere Politiker oft sich so verhalten, wie dieser Armin Laschet, der immer wieder ohne Mund-Nasen-Schutz sich in der Öffentlichkeit zeigt.
Wie schwer es für Künstler oft ist, ihre Vorbildfunktion zu erfüllen, zeigt, dass diese oft die Nase voll haben und einfach nur noch Menschen sein wollen, wie Du und ich.
https://youtu.be/aC872j2-PDw
https://youtu.be/1K7CIeb8XAI

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Keine Ahnung, ob das tatsächlich "die ersten" sind.
Allgemein wird inzwischen auf Abstand und Rücksicht geschis.sen und viele fühlen sich auch zur "Kontrollpolizei" berufen, obwohl sie gar keine Ahnung haben, was erlaubt ist und was nicht.
Ich habe das Gefühl, dass bei vielen auch - wie in unzähligen Bereichen des Lebens - Doppelmoral herrscht: ICH will und fahre in Urlaub, aber gleichzeitig komme ich mit erhobenem Zeigefinger daher, wenn man nur erwähnt, dass man ein paar Tage die Freundin besuchen fährt. 😒

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Ich habe einfach ganz allgemein und zusammengefasst keinen Bock mehr auf Menschen. Wenn möglich, sind mir alle egal, ich rede mit niemandem mehr und umgebe mich nur noch mit den Menschen, die mir am Herzen liegen.
Sollen alle anderen doch lachend in die Kreissäge rennen, wenn man das denn so haben will.

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