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Did u find out what cbw was doing when he was going back and forth and not ready to commit? Was he with someone else?

He was single. I'm sure he was dating just as I was.
He said at the time that it was money -ish. That's panned out to be true now that I know the backstory that I didn't know at the time.
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex

OMG your CBW story just gave me life. I'm at 5/6 months and we haven't spoke in 2.5 weeks. I know now is NOT a good time for him but like your momma says, if you're a halfway decent woman, they will almost always come back. I trust we will be able to try again. In the interim, HELLO DATES!

let go of the trust that it will work out. Just let it be over. If he shows up with some correct ONLY, entertain him.
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Liked by: J.S. Unchinked Armor

you always have the right answers to these questions. are you this succinct in your life as well? if so it's so admirable; you seem to have amazing emotional control i can't see you running after a man or doing 1/2 the things asked on this page. I and I think most on this page wish we had ur wisdom

Lol. I was a f---ing mess for YEARS. Read my first book or blog.
I'm pretty succinct in life. But I still do dumb ish. Knowing the right thing to do is entirely different than, you know, doing it.
I can emotionally shut down when I'm bothered and move to logic, blessing and curse. I'm a cancer. Hard shell, mushy center. I'm INCREDIBLY emotional. Shutting down is an emotion, and/or a way to protect self.
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Liked by: Anarat 37 Rhyan Minter Cathy _ Beautifully Complex Unchinked Armor

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Not OP but in same situation "I also wanted something different than him." When you went through this w/ CBW did you speak over the 5 months or did you remain distant until he stepped up? My guy has reached out and don't want to be dramatic but wanna protect my heart. Can't be just friends.

Eh... He called from time to time to ask how I was. I actually started dating someone else and was in a relationship (disaster decision).
He called after I did a TV segment and mentioned I had a BF on live TV. Like, he hit me before I left the station like, "you got a man?!"
Maybe a month later, on his b-day, maybe 3 mos after we parted ways, he called to ask if I could spend it with him. My answer: "no." I went out with my dude at the time... And actually ran into his boys at the restaurant waiting for him to show up to celebrate. (Awkward. Bounced with my dude.) I felt... Kinda like I was disrespecting CBW. Was weird. My dude at the time already felt a way about me mentioning him so often. Seeing that CBW looked the same except he was taller, browner, broader and with BK swag would have made the insecurity worse. :-/
Short version: dude broke up with me. I was a mess because I'd been unceremoniously rejected twice back to back and was on my "what is wrong with me?" trip.
My wife called CBW and told him (the entire circle loved him) I was single again. He showed up that night. And stuck around for weeks under the guise of "I just wanna make sure you're ok." When I felt better, I told him, I can't jump from one bad situation to the next. I like you, A LOT, but you're not offering anything. I respect that... But no.
He told me he respected that. Dipped for 2-3 weeks.
Called one day, I actually answered, said he wanted to see me. Told him I was good and wasn't going down that road. Said he wanted to start over, get to know me again, and he wanted a relationship if things went well. For the next month, he acted like a man on a mission. Consistent, on point, INTERESTED, and happily willing to be inconvenienced .
4-5 weeks later, he asked me to "be my lady." Think we were working out on Eastern Parkway. That was that (and many years ago).
This is the short version.

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Liked by: A. Anarat 37 Natasha Cathy Ene Jasmine A. Edwards Courtney Brown Courtney Harge Charlotte J.S.

Saw former fwb out with new gf. I admit I shaded her (pretended not to know she existed) I har to see them again nxt wkend at an event. Should I b bigger woman and apologize or just avoid her?

Apologize. It's not her fault you settled when you wanted more or that he chose her. That was quite nasty what you did there.
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Liked by: A. _ Unchinked Armor

My coworker and I are invited to a wedding. We aren't speaking. I'm debating if I should go. The bride doesn't know we aren't speaking. I think it's gonna be awkward. Need advice.

But, but, but... you're not celebrating the co-worker. If someone cared about you enough to invite you to their wedding, go. It' about them.
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Liked by: Cathy keke yagami Beautifully Complex _ Unchinked Armor

Hanging out w/ guy who I went to school w/. Starting to like him. He told me that he and a friend of mine kissed w/ heavy petting 2.5 yrs ago. Happened once. She expressed she wasn't interested in him soon after. They're still cool, but have never gone there again. Is he off limits?

No.
But give her a heads up so you're not seeming shady.
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Liked by: Alexis ❤

Not op but the break post struck me! In that same situation now where it wasn't a break or break up because we weren't official. I also wanted something different than him. Everything absolutely great outside of that and no doubt he'll return. How do you handle it when they do?? Or know if u should?

If he returns offering what you want, so be it. If he shows up offering the same (or less) no dice.
Maybe he'll return, maybe he won't. You'll do better planning on it being done-done and being surprised if he shows up.
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Liked by: Anarat 37 Cathy Unchinked Armor Jaye Sun Beautifully Complex Courtney Brown _ J.S.

What do you think about a guy cuming on a girls face? I've seen it in porn and always seems to be done in a disrespectful way. Do guys expect to be able to do this?

Doesn't matter what they expect, if you don't wanna do it, don't. But for clarity, no, a face shot is not standard.
Some women like it. If you're not one of them, say "no" and tell him you want a warning when he's about to ejaculate, if you can't tell otherwise.
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Liked by: Markysha Cannon, MA

not op, emotionally unavail: sorta same situation with ex. he had some anger probs, primary job suggested therapy. he never went. told me this while dating. aftr break up fb msg to meet up said need to talk. nvr hit me up. but txt next day and msg. should I try to see what's up or just leave it??

When he told you his job suggested he get therapy and he hadn't had any, that was you re flag- stop sign right there.
Unless he's been to therapy, leave it. You're an ex, not a therapist. And if he has anger management issues to the point his job noticed, Imma guess he didn't treat you all that great.
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Liked by: PynkElephant _ Unchinked Armor

u say ppl shouldn't take breaks to work on themselves then get back together. that they shld wrk issues out while together. but u did 5 mos breakup w/CBW & now ur engaged. several married couples i know broke up for months or years w/their now hubby/wife. are you wrong on this one belle?

There's a difference between "break"'and "break up". Breaking is messy because it's a grey area and the parameters aren't clear. You're technically single, expected to act like you're in a relationship and there's usually no deigned time period. It's a mess waiting to happen.
If it ain't working and you need to break UP-- as in everyone is free, so be it. Breaking up is also not a communication, solution to problem strategy. When you leave, expect to stay gone. There's no exit, and hoping to get back together. If it happens, so be it.
The 5 mos you refer to was neither a break or a break up. We dated. He didn't want what I wanted, I bailed. We weren't in a relationship, so nothing to break from.
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Liked by: Cathy Beautifully Complex _ Laura Asseauguste Unchinked Armor

Found out via FB that BF ex-wife and child came on a family trip that I did not attend (reunion in another country). He said she paid for herself and he didnt tell me b/c I would have gotten the wrong idea. I say this is a lie. Is this ever ok?

Even of she did pay her way and he didn't know she would be there, he should have immediately picked up the phone and let you know when she showed up.
The issue now is that ex-wife went, AND that he lied by omission by keeping the information from you. "I knew you'd be mad" isn't an excuse to be shady.
Ask him where she slept.
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Liked by: Damica Oni Natasha Cathy Jasmine A. Edwards Markysha Cannon, MA Beautifully Complex _ J.S. Unchinked Armor

Is recently getting out of a long term relationship a legit reason for not wanting to get into a new one, no matter how much u like the person? I was always told by guys that "I don't want a relationship" always secretly ends with "with you" but wondering if this case is an exception?

It's a legit reason. Folks need to sort thru their feelings and just be free sometimes. You want to give a person some space when they get out of something. Otherwise they bring their not yet resolved baggage to you.
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Liked by: J.S. Jasmine A. Edwards Unchinked Armor

My bf has fmle frnd thats been in prison for 5yrs. They lost touch for yrs. He found out then he & his frnd began to visit. They dnt hve a past but he plans to visit her this wknd (5th in the past 2-3mths) cuz she is having sme rough days She gets out next mth. Im a tad jealous. Do I need to relax?

Nah. Something is up, up, UP.
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Liked by: Markysha Cannon, MA DiscoverJamie _

When dose your past become your past? I was a wild thing in my teens and 20s. I settled down with my hubby for 6 years now. I've moved on but he just asked me what my number was. He won't let it go he said his was 6 he's 43, mine is in the teens! I'm 27 should I lie or tell the truth?

Don't answer that. Ask why he wants to know.
Nothing good comes of that answer. Whatever it is, it will be used against you. And something happened that he wants to know now, after 6 years. He may have heard something.
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Liked by: Markysha Cannon, MA PynkElephant Jasmine A. Edwards Beautifully Complex Unchinked Armor

Hi Belle, I recently went out of town to visit a guy i'm interested in. Had a great time (in my opinion). We went on a few dates previously and I guess we're trying to start again. I reached out to him once I got back to my city and haven't heard anything. Should I reach out again or call it quits?

He'll hit you up when he has something to say.
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Liked by: _ Kristi'an Taylor

op bf emotionally unsupportive: I genuinely think he should seek therapy but not sure he'd receive that advice from me. I want him to find happiness. should I say something or leave it alone and pray for him.

Say something. If you think it, someone else has probably already said it. Say it again.
Tell him and pray. Cover bases.
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Liked by: Laura Asseauguste Cathy _

I broke up with my bf because he required a LOT of emotional support & accommodation but would rush out of the room and ignore me at any suggestion of a convo about my feelings. This happened 6 times in 3 mos. So I had him leave my home and sent him a goodbye text, very calmly. Right choice?

sounds like it. you weren't getting what you needed. and he wasn't really participating in the relationship.
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Liked by: _

is there ever a reason to text an ex on their bday? Or a holiday? Aren't u opening yourself up to all sorts a mess? If they dint respond you drive your self crazy wondering why and r pissed at yourself for reaching out. If they do respond u risk opening up lines that prob needed to stay closed

Um. You pretty much summed up why it's a bad idea.
You wanna take over askFM for a day? LOL.
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Liked by: Laura Asseauguste ciel1807 DiscoverJamie PynkElephant _ Alexis ❤ Briaan L. Barron

Should I text my ex on his birthday? We broke up early January & haven't talked since. Long distance relationship that wasn't going to end in marriage because he didn't "believe" in it. He often made me feel bad for having my own identity & never wanted to compromise in our relationship. Should I?

For what? He made you feel bad and wanted everything his way. Let that Pandora's box stay closed.
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Liked by: Jasmine A. Edwards DiscoverJamie PynkElephant Charlotte Beautifully Complex Unchinked Armor

Dating a guy long distance, we speak daily. His great-uncle passed, he traveled with mom and sis to rural part of TX, but b4 let me know he'd prob be out of touch but no length of time given. It's been 4 days, no word. I'm starting to feel a bit neglected - is this worth bringing up when we speak?

His uncle died and he's with family. Should he have called? Yeah. But he's grieving. Or chilling with fam. And he gave you the head's up hat he would be out of touch. His bases are pretty covered here.
Say "I missed hearing from you. I was worried because I didn't know if you were okay." And let him explain.
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex Unchinked Armor _

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