@abelleinbk

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Guy and I have talked for a month. Two dates. Used to txt daily. He's always asking questions abt my work and writing, kissed me twice, sending right signs. But texts r falling off and he never confirmed date I asked him out on. He's busy, student and worker...but what gives? Why put forth effort?

he may be losing interest. but just ask what's up and tell him what you want from him. hopefully, he does it. if not, next.

When I'm getting to know men & allow myself to like them, their behavior always completely changes. Mine doesn't. I hold the same honest conversations & keep my personality o_O. I think 1-word texts are unacceptable. If they're busy they should open their mouth & day it. No?

everyone doesn't think like you do. ask for what you want.
the common denominator here is you. are they changing, or is your POV. and if they are ALL changing, what is it that YOU are doing here?

New to o/l dating. Guy 1st hit me up end of February. we messaged each other ph #'s (I didn't initiate that) and text almost daily but I told him I want ph call 3x but he won't. I don't like whole text convos. What do his actions mean and how should I proceed going forward?

he's just not that into you. you're not asking for a lot to tell him to pick up the phone. he's content to get at you when he feels like it. talking requires active engagement. texting does not.
this is not generational, for clarity. interested men of all ages are willing to do the basics if it means getting your attention.

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I "like" a guy acquaintance. When I don't contact him, he talks 2 me&holds good convo. If I hit him like "hey! What are u up 2?" or tell him something abt my day, he has nuthin 2 say. Why is that? I like him/wanna get 2 know him, but I'm not willing 2beat down his door.Guys always disappear :( help?

he's not all that interested in more than friends-- hence why he has nothing to say.
you don't need to beat down a door for a man who is actually interested.
2
Liked by: Markysha Cannon, MA PynkElephant

Should I text my ex happy birthday. In trying to move on so not sure if reaching out is the best things for me

no. you're not moving on if you're texting him; you're looking for excuses to talk to him. he's your ex. no need to call and offer best wishes. no longer in your job description.

Hi Belle! I know I can't be friends w/former flame right now. He calls, I answer & now he asked me out. Not sure on what level. He should make it plain if anything more than friendly, right? Do I tell him why I can't be friends? Is ignoring/going dark wrong? I was always the one to be vulnerable 1st

if you can't be friends, don't go out with him. call him, tell him what you're thinking and pull out.
if you don't know what level, ASK.
don't ignore/ go dark. actually say what's on your mind. it's the only way to get any clarity.

How are you able to retain your friends with such a blunt attitude? I'm the same way but me being such a straight shooter doesn't help with my social circle.

lol. nearly all of my friends are blunt too. it's not a thing.
i also don't really say what i think unless asked... even on TV. or unless i ask permission.
2
Liked by: Courtney Brown Beautifully Complex

Belle, went out last wknd with guy, 1st date. Guy hyped me up, saying that he planned to get creative with wherever we went. We ended up at Applebees, suggested by him once he picked me up. I was too in shock to really object - now I dnt want to deal. What should I say? He will want to know why.

Tell him the truth. You FEEL like he didn't put much thought into the are and that he doesn't think much of you if he took you to Applebee's.
3
Liked by: Unchinked Armor Chikas Reynolds Justin Bieber ✔

Do you think it's childish to have a bf or gf over 30 ? Like is this title even necessary if the two of you are not building towards a future together?

Don't childish. And steps/titles are important. If he won't claim you as "girlfriend" or "my lady" or some such, you're never going to be "wife."
4
Liked by: Markysha Cannon, MA Renee Forde _

Dated a guy for 6mo & now we are official. We live in different states. He just called me on FT to tell me his grandfather died. What do I do? My grandparent's died when I was very young and haven't had anyone close to me pass away so I really don't know what to do.

You offer your condolences and say "I'm sorry" and you'll pray for him and fam. Ask about parent. AND you offer to fly out for funeral.
3
Liked by: Chikas Reynolds Markysha Cannon, MA _

Hi Belle. Remember the lady who was asking about having a 'husband' and another dude who was her 'soul mate'. My question is..do you believe in 'soul mates' at all? Or do you think it was just her perception/feelings?

Soulmates = people who get you without trying + their biological make up is wired to attract you, ie, chemistry.
I believe in the concept. But it still only works when both people are ready and they have decent character and can be responsible enough to be in a relationship. A shared energy + POV is nice, but it's not enough to hold a relationship together.
2
Liked by: Tiffani Beautifully Complex

I just started dating a college friend. He's very intelligent and gentlemanly, and we have great chemistry. But I think we're going too fast and he's a bit clingy. I told him I don't want a relationship, he keeps talking about the future and wants to see me all the time. How do I ask him to ease up?

Tell him pony blank that he's pushing you away with all the future talk. You just want to have fun, if he's looking for more or can't accept that, it's best that you part ways now. See what he says.
Also, you don't have to accept every date or answer the phone everytime he calls. You can set the tone here too.

Ex BF broke up with unexpectedly cause he didn't know what he wanted. i was in love and heart broken. he said he was too. starts texting other girls 2-3 weeks later. just found out he kissed one of them. says he did cause he was lonely. do i have a right to be offended?

No. You're not together. He is a single man and can text whoever he likes with no issue.
I know you still have feelings for him and it hurts that he has moved on. But he's not in the wrong here.
1
Liked by: Jasmine A. Edwards

RE 6 month uninterested and uncommunicative bf: You were right, he did want out. Thank you for helping me see what I didn't want to acknowledge. Now I'm taking the time to focus on me and get over him. It's incredibly hard, but better now than later.

:-)
2
Liked by: Jasmine A. Edwards Damica Oni

Recently ended a crazy three year rltshp so not ready for a full time rltshp but I do have a FWB. Is it normal that I enjoy the fwb company without rltshp pressure ?

Normal. You want sex, not the responsibility of a relationship.
Get tested regularly please as you likely are in a non- monogamous situation.
2
Liked by: Jasmine A. Edwards Beautifully Complex

My ex broke up w me; one week later he commented on his ex before me pic saying "mine" I asked him if that's why he left and if they were back together he said no and it was a test.. Idk what that mean?? What you think of the situation

I think you should stop talking to him and following him on social media. Don't let people mind -**** you for kicks/ reaction.
2
Liked by: Markysha Cannon, MA Unchinked Armor

Hey, Belle! One of my good guy friends just told me that I hurt him more than any other person in college. He told me in a random text. I asked him about it, and he refuses to address it. He said he just said it to say it, but I want some clarity. Thoughts and advice, please! Thank you!

You can't make him tell you. If he doesn't want up talk about it, there's nothing you can do.

What is the distinction between males & men? Or females & women? I'm asking bc I really don't know the difference & would like to read that article with a full understanding first.

In his context, he's distinguishing between people who are emotionally mature (men) and those who are not (males).

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