you've probably answered this question before but when do you have the "where is this going" conversation? with someone that you're feeling?
4-6 months.
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spent 4 years of my life with him and i dont know he is so disrespectful i dont know sorry for my long message but i wanted you to have an idea of the whole issue, he has never fought for me as i always do. he seem like he doesnt care. but i love him what should i do please
Ok.
I read the 3 prior messages.
He doesn't like you. He doesn't pretend to. So he'll catch-- when he feels like it-- if you throw it at him, but by your own account, he makes no effort and talks to you shady-crazy.
This goes on as long as you continue to chase him. At the point you faked an accident to see if he cared-- which is nuts, so you know-- and he hasn't called since, HE DOES NOT CARE AT ALL.
So while it's nice that you love him, I need you to love you too, and more. And loving yourself means not allowing yourself to be continuously sh---ed on by a man who can take your money but not even ask if you're okay when you're (allegedly) sick.
I read the 3 prior messages.
He doesn't like you. He doesn't pretend to. So he'll catch-- when he feels like it-- if you throw it at him, but by your own account, he makes no effort and talks to you shady-crazy.
This goes on as long as you continue to chase him. At the point you faked an accident to see if he cared-- which is nuts, so you know-- and he hasn't called since, HE DOES NOT CARE AT ALL.
So while it's nice that you love him, I need you to love you too, and more. And loving yourself means not allowing yourself to be continuously sh---ed on by a man who can take your money but not even ask if you're okay when you're (allegedly) sick.
My bf of 4mos was supposed 2come 2 my parents crib 2day & he never did. I was embarrassed cuz I told mom he would. It's important 2 me 2 meet his ppl & vice versa but he acts hesitant. We've had issues b4 where he kind of stood me up & always had an excuse. Am I being dramatic 4 being upset?
You're asking if you're being "dramatic" because you were stood up-- again-- and this time on thanksgiving?
Um. That you're questioning being upset means you're not dramatic enough. He stood you up for Thanksgiving and embarrassed you in front of your fam. This is level 10.
Second time he stood you up? He shoulda been gone after the first if there was no VERY valid explanation. Dude's at best unreliable, at worst, uninterested. Call this a wrap.
Um. That you're questioning being upset means you're not dramatic enough. He stood you up for Thanksgiving and embarrassed you in front of your fam. This is level 10.
Second time he stood you up? He shoulda been gone after the first if there was no VERY valid explanation. Dude's at best unreliable, at worst, uninterested. Call this a wrap.
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if the man your dating doesn't call or text you on thanksgiving...is it safe to say he doesn't like you much or even care about u
Eek.
Pretty much. Unless there's some extreme circumstance like he's overseas with no wi-fi or he's deployed or something (and even they tend to find a way).
Sorry. :-(
Pretty much. Unless there's some extreme circumstance like he's overseas with no wi-fi or he's deployed or something (and even they tend to find a way).
Sorry. :-(
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Re: Thanksgiving. Does his name begin with the letter "O"?
???
Re: Thanksgiving dinner, I do live in ATL....
Oh.
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Re: bringing "friend" home. FWB asked blatantly for an invite to thanksgiving. Ticked me because we have discussed moving towards commitment and he says he isn't ready but wants all the benefits. Enjoy his company but an invite would blur lines with fam and us?
So remind him that he said he didn't want to be committed, add that you respect his decision and you don't want to blur the lines for yourselves and fam.
I'm with you. You don't want commitment, then you don't get benefits of relationship--like TG dinner. If you want to-- since you're doing him and all-- you can take him a plate.
I'm with you. You don't want commitment, then you don't get benefits of relationship--like TG dinner. If you want to-- since you're doing him and all-- you can take him a plate.
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Today is the 3rd time in 4 mos my bf has hung up on me when he's upset. I addressed it the 1st & 2nd time it happened. Obviously I wasn't clear enough. Shits annoying to say the least. Please tell me how to address this. Is this a red flag? I'm pissed.
It is a red flag. It's incredibly disrespectful. If he didn't know the first time, you expressed it's not acceptable and he continues to do it. Somewhere he learned this was okay. It isn't.
He's not stopping so either you deal and stay or you tell him you're done.
He's not stopping so either you deal and stay or you tell him you're done.
Ex BF cheated on his current gf with me (didn't know of her & vice versa. She confronted me abt them being together) I stopped dealing with him but I guess she's still with him. Cool. He's recently been texting me, asking me out. Should I inform the GF or mind my biz?
Ask him if his lady knows he's texting you, and ask him to stop as you're not interested.
Skip reaching out to her. You don't know that they're still together or not. So reaching out could be pointless. OR if they are, you're bringing drama to your door. It's not going to stop at "hey, your man is texting me." She'll have questions, he'll be calling about why you told her. You'll be in the middle of their drama. Again. And after all of it, she might even stick around. Again.
Skip reaching out to her. You don't know that they're still together or not. So reaching out could be pointless. OR if they are, you're bringing drama to your door. It's not going to stop at "hey, your man is texting me." She'll have questions, he'll be calling about why you told her. You'll be in the middle of their drama. Again. And after all of it, she might even stick around. Again.
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Um where does the OP re: Thanksgiving dinner live?? Is it Atl?? B/c I'm in a similar situation. With a man that has lived here same amount of time.
Oh.
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(Re: lady vs. female friend) FBF let me crash on her couch when I was evicted for about two weeks. We also are in the same study group (I'm in law school) so see each other almost daily. I make it clear to my lady that it's just friends, but she's uneasy. I feel like she should trust me.
You're gonna have to explain to her what the friendship is and perhaps have her get to know the friend. If she's not willing, you have a tough choice to make.
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Car trouble: He's not a bf. We've been dealing with each other for quite some time(dates,etc.) and we have slept together. I don't feel like i'm entitled to his money at all but I was always taught you shouldn't date or sleep with with a man who wouldn't help you out. Is that really wrong? :(
Yeah, no. He's not even your BF? He's not remotely obligated in anyway. Sex and dates aren't commitment.
If you want someone who is obligated to help you out financially and you can feel a way if they don't, you need a husband, babes.
If you want someone who is obligated to help you out financially and you can feel a way if they don't, you need a husband, babes.
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Sooo I've been hit with the "Youre smart, pretty, sweet, and a total package for any guy...Youre amazing!" text in two different instances. The first person used it to dismiss me & the second person who recently did it claims to have deep feelings and sees an us, but did he just dismiss me as well?
Yep.
It sucks to hear. But suck it up as their loss. The guy who thinks you're amazing, but doesn't want to commit? He wasn't ready. He did you a favor.
It sucks to hear. But suck it up as their loss. The guy who thinks you're amazing, but doesn't want to commit? He wasn't ready. He did you a favor.
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Car trouble and I told a guy I've been dealing with about it. Now I totallyyyy understand it's NOT his responsibility but it's very clear I could use some help...he gave a list of reasons why he couldn't. I've seen him spend frivolously. Is it wrong that i'm turned off??
Yep.
That is not his job/obligation at all. Nice if he does, but no points deducted for not.
If he even a BF?
He can spend his money however he wants with no accountability whatsoever to you. You don't live together and he's not your hubs.
Sorry. You may have to save up or call home for help.
That is not his job/obligation at all. Nice if he does, but no points deducted for not.
If he even a BF?
He can spend his money however he wants with no accountability whatsoever to you. You don't live together and he's not your hubs.
Sorry. You may have to save up or call home for help.
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Dating dude for a few months, and I think he wants an invite to thanksgiving. He just moved to the city about 8 months ago so I don't mind but feel weird since he I've never brought a guy home for holiday dinner and he isnt bf. Is this normal? Just introduce him as friend?
If you're not ready to bring him home, don't.
However, if you are, introduce him as "my friend." Take it old school.
Random: my mother called CBW "Demetria's friend" up until a date was set for the wedding. The man showed up every holiday for years as "my friend".
However, if you are, introduce him as "my friend." Take it old school.
Random: my mother called CBW "Demetria's friend" up until a date was set for the wedding. The man showed up every holiday for years as "my friend".
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Demetria, met a few amazing individuals/possible mentors at a conference last Tuesday. Want to reach out. Know they may have already forgotten about me:( Do you think it's best to wait until Friday after Thanxgiving to reach out to them so that I don't disturb their time with family? TY, Demetria.
Just wait til Monday.
if i was your slave what would you feed me ?
Only a non-black person would ask this right now. Sigh.
if an ex is reaching out, how 2 proceed in the early stages? hasn't mentioned reconciling rship, moreso re-establishing contact, working on friendship. Would I want to reconcile? probably. Just friends? dunno. he ended it, I took space to heal, we're LD now. Even worth re-establishing contact w/him?
What do you want to do here? Pause and figure that out. There's no right or wrong answer just what you want. Then express that to him to see if he's on the same page.
Belle, I want to make things offiicial with my lady (been dating 6 months, and she's worth the title. Could see myself marrying her). But she wants me to drop my female best friend, and it hurts my heart to even think about it. I love them both, and I don't want to lose either. What do I do?
Convince her to reconsider her stance on your bestie and explain why you want you BOTH to be friends with her.
If the bestie has overstepped boundaries, she might have to go. If this is a "my man can't have female friends" thing, you'll need to consider if this lady is worth losing a friend for no real reason.
If the bestie has overstepped boundaries, she might have to go. If this is a "my man can't have female friends" thing, you'll need to consider if this lady is worth losing a friend for no real reason.
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Bf and I found out im prego. About 8weeks.hes itching to tell his fam immediately. I'm not Bc I kno the questions are all gonna come my way. I wanna wait until I'm showing. What's a good compromise here?
Ask him to wait because all the Qs are gonna come your way.
Every guy I date says I have a "plan" when it comes to them but I just know who I am when i really like someone: i just want to take it slow because I catch feelings fast. Guys also say I'm so use to being by myself and it affects him and I from turning into an "US" situation. How do i fix that?
The plan thing is fine. An interested man can live with that.
"You're used to being by yourself" is another way of saying "you don't have enough room for me." You have to include the other person in your life and ask them their opinion and for help and let them do ish for you.
"You're used to being by yourself" is another way of saying "you don't have enough room for me." You have to include the other person in your life and ask them their opinion and for help and let them do ish for you.
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Bf was a rolling stone back in the day. Our city isn't small but only a few degrees of separation between Black folk. Everytime I turn around it's a new story about his past. Can't deal. Wrong to bounce?
Nope.
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Recently started seeing a therapist and evaluating a lot of people/relationships in my life. Is it rude to put friendships/guys I'm dating on pause? Don't want them to feel like I pick them up/drop them whenever I want but need some serious time to myself
Give them a head's up so they don't feel abandoned.
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Just learned BF's FWB while we were dating (non-exclusive). Been together 1 yr exclusively & it's his bestie's cousin. How I found out? She shaded me & him at his aunt's Bday dinner. Hewants me to go to Thanksgiving & she'll be there. Don't want to go & not sure if I want him. I'm hurt. Should I go?
So everything was fine until you found out that he was having sex with someone while he wasn't in a relationship with you? Huh?
And though he's done nothing wrong here, you want to break up with him? Again, huh?
You should go. And tell him to check her if she asks out of pocket. Or you both don't go.
Also, she's shading BOTH OF YA'LL. Don't let another woman who's in her feelings about him choosing someone else upset mess up your relationship.
And though he's done nothing wrong here, you want to break up with him? Again, huh?
You should go. And tell him to check her if she asks out of pocket. Or you both don't go.
Also, she's shading BOTH OF YA'LL. Don't let another woman who's in her feelings about him choosing someone else upset mess up your relationship.
I think my guy friend likes me (he took me to dinner and we've been talking frequently..all good stuff). I realize I like him too and would be open to dating him. Just wondering if I should just say 'hey, I like you' or wait for him to be explicit with his feelings. I'm new to the dating game
Be easy. Enjoy the build up.
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