@abelleinbk

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um...i've had quite the roster of dates over the last couple months. men i only went out 1/2x are trying to see me again now. what's the best way to decline dates now that i'm in a very new relationship with someone?

I'll have to pass. I'm in a relationship now.
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Liked by: Tiffani

How can you tell if a guy likes you more than just friends? We've been friends a long time (10 +years, now we're 24).When we went to college we didn't speak as much but always stayed in touch. Lately, we talk all the time (3x +/WK) and it's always him who initiates contact. Is he just reconnecting?

Ask him what's up so that you're clear on his intentions.

My bf is an asshole *excuse my French, there's really no other way to put it*. Everyone sees him as an arrogant, know it all, I can understand why. My friends don't really like him. However, when we it's just us, he's not that person, at all. Who is he really?

He's both.
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Liked by: Ene Cathy ChristyCumberlander Istwofly J.S.

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Anonymous

In relationship & discussing marriage. Parents are against me even dating him based off of the fact his religion differs from ours. Religion is important to me but not a deal breaker. I highly respect parents opinions. Mom has gone to the extreme & isn't speaking to me. I'm not sure what to do :-(

It's YOUR life, not your parents. Respecting their opinions does not mean doing whatever they say. You're an adult. You get to act like one. And that means deciding what is a dealbreaker for you- or not.
Your mother is exhibiting control issues. She's having the adult equiv of a tantrum because you won't give her, her way.
Make the decision that is right for YOU whether she's speaking to you or not. And just so you know, you give in on this one, she will pull this move every time she doesn't approve of your decision.
If you want to get married-- or not-- do it because it's right for you. Not to rebel and not because you're trying to make others happy.
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Liked by: Charis Jalon

I've had the same FWB for 2 years, I want something more meaningful, however, not with him. Do I owe him an explanation when I bounce? If I do, should I just tell him I'm not interested anymore or should I include a little more details?

It's a FWB. You don't owe an explanation. Just tell him don't want to continue.

Dating and it is moving towards exclusive. I feel a little petty but heard those little things turn into big things later on. Bro looks good in his clothing, feels good in bed but looking at his naked body is not hot. It's okay to not so hot. It's not like he walks around naked though. Dealbreaker?

You tell me. You have to look at him, not me.
Can you deal with it or no?
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex PynkElephant Unchinked Armor

Friend in a FU marriage, She and husband went to one marriage counseling session during which he lied repeatedly to cnslr. He doesn't want to go anymore saying it was worthless but she should go since she is the one with the issues. Friend is upset, I don't know what to say. What would you tell her?

"That's unfortunate. You should probably tell your husband how you feel."
That's it.
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Liked by: Unchinked Armor

What would you say to this thirsty chick? Long time friend on FB who is always posting BS and every minutiae of her life clogging my feed. Then when I see her for our weekly group outings she asks me why I didn't respond or comment on this or that. I say I'm busy, she says but you commented on ABC.

Be honest. One, it's FB. Two, you're not required to comment. Three, you don't care much for her posts and she updates a lot.
She asked, your honest answers are fair game.
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Liked by: Cathy Unchinked Armor

Been kinda seeing this guy for a couple of months now. Our relationship is mainly physical, which I like, but his contact is sporadic. He seems to really enjoy our time together, so I don't understand why I don't hear from him more often, even when I hit him up first. Does it sound like he has a gf?

sounds like you may be his jump off.
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Liked by: Cathy Charis Jalon Laura Asseauguste Unchinked Armor J.S.

I'm a homebody naturally and I realized I unconsciously prefer "couch dates" after a few real ones. From this, I tend to have sex earlier than I should. Is there a decent balance? I'd like to do lowkey things but not be in the home too much

then you need to do more low key things, outside of the house. and you should speak up about that to whoever you happen to be dating.

Friend buys clothing/shoes she barely wears and regularly asks me to borrow money. She always pays it back promptly, I can afford the loans, but I feel some kind of way when I see her spending her money knowing that she will ask for a loan in a week. Don't want to rock the boat, but want 2 say somet

next time she asks for money tell her no, and tell her why. she's asking you to float her and she's using your resources. you are totally entitled to speak up about her money since she asks you for money.
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Whenever I get into a relationship, I let the guys know about my no return gift policy. I developed this policy when men I dated would ask for shit back after the relationship. Sometimes my policy puts men back. Should I tell them about my policy from the get like I do or wait for the first gift?

so you're basically telling a guy that hasn't bough you anything, that you expect you to buy gifts, likely expensive ones. it reads as entitlement. and you're telling them that you've been involved with some vindictive PEOPLE. that it happened more than once, the question is what did YOU do? that's a really bad combination.
stop telling people that. it makes you sound off. if you break up and he asks for something back, say "no".
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Liked by: Cathy Kimmie Gee Markysha Cannon, MA J.S. Unchinked Armor Jasmine A. Edwards

Sister in Law compares her husband to mine all the time, my husband is her BROTHER. When I have to address shit my husband comes out on top 100% the time. I don't know why she does this. It is her BROTHER for God's sakes! Mother in Law says jealousy. Our kids feel the tension. How do I make her stop

she has an issue with her brother or she is insecure about her husband. tell her BROTHER to talk to her. and going forward, stop engaging in these conversations with her.
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Liked by: Cathy J.S.

Hi Belle! From reading your book and seeing some responses on here, you believe dating and being in a relationship are two different things. Can you explain the difference? Thanks :)

one you have a commitment, exclusivity and reasonable expectations , the other you don't (or shouldn't).
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex S Frank _

What is the best way to handle an ex at professional networking events? Light conversation and move on to mingle or just straight up ignore (we really don't have to talk during these things.) Broke up due to his cheating and lies about it.

Hello, minimal polite convo and move on. The important part is to not make a scene.

Some of BFF's relationships don't work out, when ex gets in new situation BFF copies/sends links to pictures of the new chick to me then calls me to break down girls' body, face, job, whatev. It is tiring and just ugly acting. I truly do not know how to tell her this is beneath her and still be BFF

Tell her you don't want to be a part of that and it doesn't make you feel good to dis other women that way. Leave the "this is beneath you" part out of it.
She's REALLY insecure. This is her way of making herself feel better.
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex Markysha Cannon, MA ΛVICII ◢◤

Hi, I've been "talking to" someone for the last 5 months I asked him was he ready for a relationship his response was he's not ready then he said he doesn't think I am ready. Is he prolonging the relationship so he can be free to do what he wants ? I am ready to settle down with him

He's not ready and he's adding excuses. Focus on the bottomline here: he said he isn't ready. You being ready or not isn't the real issue.
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Liked by: S Frank Markysha Cannon, MA

Made a female friend 1yr ago. She's been an absolute rock and knows most things at my current relationship. She's also just started dating, someone who I found out is my ex. I'd mentioned this ex to her in the past and now she wants to know the details of my past with him. How much info is too much?

Give her the gist. She doesn't need all the details.
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Hi I am in a relationship that I am not 100% happy with (more like 75%) but I met up with my ex today and he told me that he still loved me, what should I do? Should I go back to him?

Do you still love him? Him SAYING he loves you isn't enough. What's he doing about it? Did he mention getting back together? And if so, what were the issues in the relationship prior that made it end? Are you BOTH willing to work on the issues that were a problem BEFORE you get back together??
It sounds to me like you're unhappy and you're remembering the best of your ex, not the full package and why you broke up. If it ended, something went really wrong.
You'd likely be best server by trying to work on your current relationship. Grass stays green where it it is watered.
And if you really want out, leave because you're not happy, not for your ex. Let yourself breathe before you rush into another relationship.
Last thought: no one is perfect. You're not going to find 100. 80/20 is accepted as the standard.

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Liked by: _

I have been dating someone for 2 weeks now. Is it true most men know if you're relationship worthy at this point? He's on a cruise for the week and I actually miss him but I've been staying busy. When he gets back, is it worth seeking intention? Curious to know where his head is at after a week brea

No. It's been two weeks. You don't know him. Keep dating him and getting to know him before you talk relationships.
People don't know in 2 weeks. They can know what won't work, they can put you in a 'had potential' box, but they don't really know you and you don't really know them.

you think a long distance relationship can work/survive when you guys use to live together but no longer do because of career path and you guys took a break?

If you can work out the core issues, it can. But really, it's moving backwards to move out and go on break after living together. And it indicates some major issues that need addressing.

I'm a bit embarrassed & annoyed. Guy befriends me and I thought he was digging me. I was really digging him too and began flirting with him, but he recently told me that he really likes my friend & if I could link it up. I am fuming mad and hurt...and I feel used. Friend doesn't see the big deal..??

Well, that sucks.
I get hurt. I get embarrassed. But what are you fuming mad and annoyed about? That you thought it was something it wasn't? Because he didn't do anything wrong, at least that you mentioned here. He befriended you. Ok. He likes your friend. Still ok. That's not using you.
You thought it was something else. And YOU flirted. Did he though?
As for your friend, guy isn't yours to claim just because you liked him, and misread his friendship.
It's awkward, but not wrong, per se.
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Liked by: Cathy Beautifully Complex

Slept over my new guys house for the first time. Nothing happened, he didn't even try. But I couldn't sleep I want him so badly. How can I initiate the sex and relationship talk? I already got tested, I'm ready to go!

Did he already get tested?
And you need to read, A Belle in Brooklyn. Fool proof "seduction"'method in there. Lol.

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