#programming

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⠀❝What about these so-called nightmares?❞

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To the discomfiture of both, insistence would continue to prevail until he found a sufficient motive to dispel the existential angst. He would force the meaning of the word to his advantage - a selfish pandering only prioritizing his own problem, minimally caring what influence it would evoke in her.

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The omnic felt very little compassion for humans, and this woman was to be no different.

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⠀❝These dreams, what specifically do they make you feel? anger? fear? despair?❞

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Ramattra continued to inquire, hungry to acquire some explanation. Be that as it may. And not that it was urgent, however, he wasn't in his best attitude to recompose himself.

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He might be being impolite and insensitive.

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That despair accumulated over so many years was beginning to overflow, influencing his programming. Years without answers. Years of chaos and destruction where he became a pitiful witness to an unjust massacre. Years of his prayers NOT. BE. HEARD.
The past began to blend into the present, a huge worry existed for the future; those projections of his memories simulating a real dream were frustrating.

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He wanted to understand why — no, he NEEDED to understand why it created such a frightening sensation. Would there be a meaning behind it at all? Those tremors had to mean something.

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⠀❝Make me understand — how terrible is the sensation you feel when you wake up? Do they possess a purpose? Are these dreams unconsciously trying to communicate something to you?❞

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Mechanical hands gripped Kaitlyn's shoulders. A painful squeeze upon them demanded words.

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⠀❝How do you make them stop?❞

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Uhh brown hair, green eyes somewhat tanned skin. Crazy random conspiracy theories and a love for books. Devistatingly good looks and a decent taste in music. I don’t let people in easily but when I do I’ll care for you no matter what. Kinda on the sarcastic side which honestly In the case of a hostage situation would be my downfall.
There are countless ingredients that make up the human body and mind, like all the components that make up me as an individual with my own personality. Sure, I have a face and voice to distinguish myself from others, but my thoughts and memories are unique only to me, and I carry a sense of my own destiny. Each of those things are just a small part of it. I collect information to use in my own way. All of that blends to create a mixture that forms me and gives rise to my conscience.
At least not in the way people think. Genetics have a significant influence over your development, but the other portion is vastly generated by the experiences others impart on you throughout your life. All of your values -or even the aversion to certain values- are strictly defined by what the adults in your childhood exemplified, meaning you are the combination of all the character traits you were exposed to growing up and there is not a single original thought in your mind, just a milkshake of all of the information you were given. "You" are a compound entity that works within the limits of its programming, that can, of course, grow and expand through your interactions to thought models that are new to you but still imparted by others. Changing a single event in your upbringing would have changed who "you" are entirely. So you and I and everyone in the world are just happy random accidents that carry on with us snippets of the people that came before us.
The greatest mistake is to be continually fearful of making one. A stumble may prevent a fall. To say that we have made mistakes is to say that we are alive. When we cease to make mistakes that is the moment when we cease to be. The Buddha has once asked if he'd ever made a mistakes, he answered "I am making a mistake even now, nothing more."
My abusive step dad, well used to be step dad. Me and my mom got away from him last year but everything he tried to make me do I did the opposite and I got a boyfriend even though I wasn't supposed to and he saved my life.( I was suicidal). He's been harrasing us since we left, and I've found out he wasn't just mentally and emotionally abusive, he also physically abused my mom, I want to put his name on here just for people to see this man for what he is if y'all ever see I'm and not get tricked by him.anyway yeah I'm me because of him

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I find it completely absurd to assume that nature was always in its place since the beginning or a random huge explosion made planets come into their perfect orbits and suddenly earth became an ideal planet for survival with appropriate day and night schedule, perfect oxygen levels, abundance of food and minerals and perfect ground for population expansion. Even diving further into human body, every organ, artery, vein, gland, tissue etc are in their appropriate places and if one of them starts malfunctioning, the whole body feels it. We take credit for tiniest bit of innovation, invention or discovery and we should believe that the randomness of the nature was so perfect that everything was inherently in order? These things created are beyond the scope of human imagination and so much is yet to be discovered but we are very sure that we know how everything begin?
Someone or something beyond our scope of imagination is definitely pulling those strings.

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Humans didn’t randomly come up with “Oh lets create a programming language which could allow us to communicate with the machines”
We understood the existence of electricity in nature, understood their native language, came up with an idea of communicating with them, translated them into a language which is easily understood by humans and finally guided them into working for our benefit. I don’t see that happening randomly without the existence of a roadmap otherwise a lot of people shouldn’t have taken credit for something so perfect and random that it was bound to happen.

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Even a disorder is an order and an order cannot take place without any intervention.

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- I achieved a Bachelor's degree in Geography, mainly focussing on geomorphology, environmental management and soil and water sciences.

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- I got into photography more, which is a fun and pleasant activity.

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- I improved my mental health a LOT.

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- I started my Master's degree in Physical Geography and even though the first semester is awful and mainly focussing on programming (which I don't hate but three modules with the same stuff are too much to handle), I am looking forward to the second in summer. I am also planning on moving out this year and experience new things, explore other surroundings and learn to get by by myself.

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- A friend of mine started playing video games and I just love to see her turning into a total nerd, haha. She even surpassed my level in Final Fantasy 14. >:(

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- My internship from June to July was really nice. I learned a lot of new things about mining maps and digitalizing them with ArcGIS.

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- After a long absence due to COVID-19 the Christmas markets were finally opened again (more or less), so that I was able to visit one nearby and it was such a nice experience. I didn't mind the rain, the cold or the many people.

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- I joined Christy Anne Jones' monthly book club and even though, I have no time or motivation to read a lot at the moment, I am still happy to participate in the discussions.

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- I started working out again one week ago and I love how I am feeling afterwards (tired and dead but proud and lean).

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