#things

When it comes to AskFM I have an easier time answering questions than I do thinking up interesting questions to ask, which is kind of ironic given that the opposite is true in my offline life. I am always questioning things. I might not ask those questions out loud but I'm always looking at the world around me and pondering the "hows" and "whys".
I'm a naturally curious person.

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... Lord knows what happens to that "natural curiosity" when it comes to AskFM though, because whenever I go to send out a question, my brain just screeches to a halt and starts making dial-up internet sounds. 🤣

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Every once in a while inspiration will strike and I'll feel compelled to ask the good folks of Ask for their thoughts and opinions on a topic. But otherwise, I normally just stick to answering stuff.

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(I would like to change that though! I really wanna start asking more questions...)

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It is a very complex and deeply sensitive issue that affects so many people in different ways. While it is important to acknowledge the pain and suffering that can lead someone to contemplate ending their life, it is equally crucial to provide resources and support for those who are struggling with mental health issues or other challenges. It breaks my heart to think of anyone feeling so hopeless or alone that they would consider taking such drastic action, It makes me upset why— do people never talk about the part of depression when you just don’t want anything anymore¿ Everybody talks about when it hurts like hell; when you cry, when you cut; when you take drugs when you break down. But no one ever talks about when you just lay down in your room with a hole inside of you that you don’t know how to fill and you don’t want to do anything even the things you usually like. So you just spend your day kinda waiting for it to end. And it's horrible cause you feel empty and guilty for that at the same time. Anyways, I hope you are kay and safe, incase needed an ear to listen - Iam here for you. 🌻

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Eating healthy is hard for me all the way around, as I already have so many restrictions. 😅 But, what I’ve been trying to do lately, is not cave into late night snacking too much. And just trying to squeeze in healthy/semi healthy foods whenever I can. I also try to not allow myself to get too hungry, cause that doesn’t help with cravings, or with deciding what to eat. That’s when it gets hard to say “I’m gonna make healthy choices” and turns into “What’s the quickest thing I can find to satisfy this feeling?”

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What I do most of the time to help with cravings is sugar free chewing gum. It takes that feeling away for me, and tricks my brain into feeling satisfied (temporarily). But it does seem to curb my cravings more often than not. If that doesn’t work though, I try drinking a tall glass of water. Might sound weird, but sometimes your body can mistake thirst/dehydration for being hungry, so I’ll drink the whole glass of water, then wait 10-20 minutes. It doesn’t always work, but sometimes, I find my cravings (especially for something salty like chips) either disappears completely, or is not nearly as intense anymore. 🤔

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And finally, I always try to find alternatives for my cravings. Like, if I’m craving sugar, things like fruit, sweet potatoes, oats, smoothies, yogurt, etc are good alternatives. And depending on where I’m at health wise, usually dictates which of those is safest for me to eat. 😄 When it comes to savory stuff, that’s a bit harder, as I can’t eat nuts, seeds, hummus, or even plain popcorn as is recommended (which is where the gum or drinking water can help for me personally). But I do find, that salads/fresh produce in general really helps too! And if I have some protein/cheese in a salad for example, that helps with the salt cravings as well! Or if I’m not able to do that, than even just protein alone, like rotisserie chicken, eggs, etc. Those are both satisfying and filling. I at least know I’m still getting some good nutrients, and I can feel content with my choices. 😋

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I mean… some do. I know I don’t prefer that though, and the people I’m friends with don’t either. I’m not friends with people to appear “cool,” nor would I ever intentionally be mean to be considered cool by a handful of people. Those aren’t true friends, in my opinion. To me, they are in it for how popular they’ll be, and how they’re percieved, instead of wanting authentic friendship. 😐 I don’t mind sarcasm, as I’m sarcastic myself at times. But, I feel sarcasm can also be a bit condescending/passive aggressive depending on what you’re saying, how you say it, and your relationship to the person you say it to. There’s a place for sarcasm, and doing it to be more subtly rude isn’t okay.

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Personally, I wanna be friends with people who genuinely want to know me and hang out with me, and who are fun, kind, thoughtful, both to me and others, etc. I think feeling safe with people is really important, and I don’t feel safe with people who have tendencies to be rude for “cool points.” If they’re willing to be rude to others for a reason like that, more than likely, they’ll be willing to be rude to you too. 😅

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I think the reason people tend to remember mean or “cool” individuals is because they purposely stir up drama and get people talking. 😒 And to me, it always feels like they want an audience. They want people to talk about them, to look at them, think about them, etc, it heightens the experience, AND because they are deemed as “cool”, it draws others in and makes them aspire to be just like them. Even if it’s rather unfortunate that it is that way.

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Whereas quieter people get ignored/forgotten, likely because they have tendencies to stay out of things, and don’t give people reason to talk much. Though, I will say, even though they are seemingly ignored, you never know who was secretly touched by their kindness, or are attracted to their nature. People remember kindness and how good it makes them feel much more than you may think. You don’t have be mean in order to be remembered… Just saying. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Can you be assertive? Yes absolutely, in fact, I think assertiveness is a good thing. But mean or unnecessarily rude? No thank you.

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I try to be a listening ear as much as possible, and just show I love and care about them by actually saying it, and of course showing it. Like, just really to make them feel they are valued. I also try to do nice things for them that I know may take pressure off them. I like to refrain from giving advice unless they specifically ask for it, in these situations though… Cause I know, if I’m feeling like that, I don’t want my friends to attempt to fix the problem, or carry it for me, I just like to know they are there and will support me/listen as much as they are able to.

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I think the goal in friendship isn’t always to absolve our friends of their problems, or their hard feelings. It’s more so to talk through it with them, be a friendly sounding board, a place they can talk and be free to express what they need without judgement. And also, for encouragement, and to remind them that someone is there for them, even when everything feels really heavy, dark, and lonely. I know some of what’s helped me during my lowest points is the friends I know I can turn to no matter how I’m feeling and I know for a fact, they are gonna be there. 🥺🥹

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