Do you ever want a relationship and then think about your past shitty ones then change your mind?
Before I got married, I absolutely avoided dating the opposite sex for that very reason of avoiding shitty relationships. From age 20 until age 25 when I got married, I did not get involved in any meaningful relationships with women because I was afraid that I would get hurt again. For me, the pain and suffering of being manipulated and deceived, wasn't worth my time or effort. So I avoided it like one avoids cancer.
I participated in activities that I enjoyed (music, tennis, chess, 5k road races, traveling) or activities that developed my skill set to prepare for a successful career as an engineer and musician. To that end, I performed with bands, earned two degrees (music and engineering), and worked with the developmentally delayed, where I met my wife. After my first and only girlfriend and I broke up, I decided to try something different. Instead of worrying about dating or falling in love, I simply lived my life enjoying every moment while also hanging out with my male friends who loved to compete, laugh and have a good time. Occasionally family and friends would question me about my sexuality, but I chose to ignore their rude comments because I knew that eventually I would meet the woman I was destined to meet, which is exactly what happened. My future wife was also working for the department of mental health as a pool supervisor and she was also a recent college graduate. The great thing about meeting her was that I was able to observe her, before we dated, working with young adults with severe handicaps and I could see that she was a kind, compassionate and loving person who actually cared about people and was not into playing head games, cheating or basically being a horrid person who would intentionally break my heart. This woman became my loyal confidant, supporter and best friend.
I do not want to bore you with all of the details of our relationship, but suffice it to say that the decision I made at age 20 to simply live my life and not worry about people and events that I cannot control, was the best decision I ever made. Why? Because it forced me to focus on what is important in life: "living each moment to the fullest and not worry about the future or live in the past"
I participated in activities that I enjoyed (music, tennis, chess, 5k road races, traveling) or activities that developed my skill set to prepare for a successful career as an engineer and musician. To that end, I performed with bands, earned two degrees (music and engineering), and worked with the developmentally delayed, where I met my wife. After my first and only girlfriend and I broke up, I decided to try something different. Instead of worrying about dating or falling in love, I simply lived my life enjoying every moment while also hanging out with my male friends who loved to compete, laugh and have a good time. Occasionally family and friends would question me about my sexuality, but I chose to ignore their rude comments because I knew that eventually I would meet the woman I was destined to meet, which is exactly what happened. My future wife was also working for the department of mental health as a pool supervisor and she was also a recent college graduate. The great thing about meeting her was that I was able to observe her, before we dated, working with young adults with severe handicaps and I could see that she was a kind, compassionate and loving person who actually cared about people and was not into playing head games, cheating or basically being a horrid person who would intentionally break my heart. This woman became my loyal confidant, supporter and best friend.
I do not want to bore you with all of the details of our relationship, but suffice it to say that the decision I made at age 20 to simply live my life and not worry about people and events that I cannot control, was the best decision I ever made. Why? Because it forced me to focus on what is important in life: "living each moment to the fullest and not worry about the future or live in the past"
