neko girl

Well, I'm just gonna say you're probably not. Most teens assume they are, cause they get sad a lot. What they say about hormones is true. They're crazy. You're not depressed just because you're sad a lot. It happens. Like, don't think you're depressed because of trivial things, like a single argument with your parents. Or a few people made fun of you one day. If you have to ask, you probably aren't. It's just kinda this feeling. It doesn't really go away. It just sticks around, decides to reach its persistent hands around your throat various times, often. Real depression usually has a starting point. Perhaps, something really bad happened in your home life, then things afterward just keep building up, and your feelings of sorrow don't go away. Depression is where you would basically give anything just to numb how you feel a bit. The way I like to describe it is it's you, being dropped into the middle of an ocean, with an anchor tied to your ankle. The more time that passes, the farther from the surface you get. The darker, and more confused you get. Then, you can't see anything. You don't know where you are. You don't know who you are. And then, more often than not, you just want to stop holding your breath, and let the water engulf you, and poor into your lungs, so you can just end it and give up.
I really hope you aren't depressed, sweetie.

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Well, first of all, I'm pretty sure you know little or nothing about my past relationships, but to clarify. I didn't think any of them were the one except I told myself my last boyfriend, before now, was 'the one' at first, because I'd never had a long relationship. But I had so so many doubts. And for the last six months of our relationship, I really didn't feel much for him. But to summarize, my first boyfriend was in seventh grade. I didn't take it too seriously, and I definitely didn't think he was the one. My second one, in eighth grade, was short, only about a month. And he cheated on me. So I didn't think for a second he was the one. My last one, before now, was abusive, self-centered, controlling, jealous, and crazy. I said he was the one in the beginning, but as I said, I was filled with so much doubt, and I did nothing but complain about him just about every day.
But so, you ask how I'm sure Evan is the one? Well, I've said before, it was love at first sight. We both felt extremely connected from day one. Our spark has not faded a bit since we started dating. I see and hear all these complaints about other people's relationships, and Evan & I just don't go through those. If you know us personally, I think it's pretty obvious we're madly, madly in love with each other. We are so so comfortable with each other, and trust each other so much. So we really haven't got in a fight before. Arguments, sure. But we communicate quite a bit to prevent fights.
We never get bored of each other. Every day I fall more in love with him, and learn a little bit more about him.
I'm sure, because I can see the world reflected in his eyes.
I'm sure, because our care for each other is endless.
I'm sure, because it is beyond any relationship I've ever had, or I've ever seen anyone else have.
I'm sure, because there has never been a single doubt in my mind that we weren't meant to be or that we didn't love each other.
I'm sure, because I see him in every situation I will be in in the future.
I'm sure, because I can see the love in his eyes and hear it in his voice.
I'm sure, because we never stop trying for each other. We do everything possible for each other.
I'm sure, because only he could change my whole perspective on everything.
I'm sure, because only he could make me truly, truly happy.
I'm sure, because I see the beauty in everything now.
I'm sure, because I'm fucking sure.
I love Evan more than anything else in this world.
He is my entirety. He is why I open my eyes every morning. He is why I am confident and happy. He is everything I've looked for my entire life.
I'm going to marry him, and be with him for the rest of my life.
Because he is the one.
And of that, I'm sure.

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