sam

it's not a bother. i was supposed to explain anyway, but i reached the character limit so i let it slide. in any case, it's not really a blatant kind of toxic, really, but kind of a subtle one.

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F I R S T: both of them started to like each other even before they had a chance to resolve each their pasts. and this isn't a bad thing in itself, but the thing is that they consciously ignore the fact that they're not over their past relationship yet when they first started to (subconsciously) act on their feelings.

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S E C O N D: like i said, it's not a blatant kind of toxic where they really destroy each other, but seth kind of restrains kyla from actually growing???? i am particularly annoyed with the way i portrayed kyla and how she goes along with everything seth does and say.

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basically, thh shows a female character getting over a male character because of another male character. subtext: the strength of the female character comes from the male persona, and without this male figure, she probably couldn't have moved on. falling on feminist literary theory, the subtext is that in the end, it sill portrays females being dependent on a male figure for her to solve her problems (which is a problem that i have with most, if not all, rom-com fiction, though i would be lying if i said i didn't enjoy said rom-coms still)

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T H I R D: kyla has a tendency to hide her feelings. that is to say that if seth is always expressive of his love, kyla is always in a state of denial, whether inner or outer. even if she admits to herself that she's jealous about something, she wouldn't really let it show, and would instead pretend to be unfazed about anything so no one would know just how emotionally invested she is about something. even if she admits to herself that she's in love, she would still be unaffectionate. she's just that kind of person. THIS. IS. TIRING. even seth would get tired from constantly having to make her admit these things, regardless of whether or not he sees right through her.

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F O U R T H: seth is too kind. he has a tendency to help people who he thinks are in need, the same way he helped kyla. one day, he'll probably end up growing so close to someone that it puts a dent in his relationship with kyla (who, by the way, would probably pretend is not at all jealous, so they probably wouldn't get to really talk about it)

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F I F T H: seth gives too much, and kyla too little. even when seth realizes this, he probably wouldn't mind, but kyla eventually will. she'll realize she can never fully give as much as he does (re: her tendency to hide her real feelings), and would probably be the one to retreat because she'll think she's being unfair to him.

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all in all, i /do/ think they are a ship worth shipping, one way or another, but i'd probably give them a little more time to grow (while they are apart from each other) until they both mature a bit. (hence, the sort-of-sequel)

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you know what? i've dodged questions like this for so many times but fine, i'll just go right out and say what i think would happen should i write a sequel.

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> after the epilogue, seth and kyla finally get back on good terms BUT ONLY AS FRIENDS. after all. they go to separate colleges and don't really get to meet all that much.
> they do, of course, stay in touch somehow. they meet up during breaks (along with the gang) but there's really nothing special going on between them. (they do, however, have tons of inside jokes and flirty banter referring to their pasts)
> both seth and kyla get into relationship/s during their stay in college. (they are STILL ON GOOD TERMS AS FRIENDS) (even the gang gets along with their partners)
> they graduate. neither of them are probably single.
> 4 or so years later, both of them happened to have dumped/been dumped and are currently single. this brings out a lot of teasing from the gang whenever they meet up (and also sparks a lot of flirty banter like "say, what's the best way to mend a broken heart?" "oh, i don't know, maybe get into a fake relationship?")
> around the same time, seth's mom's health slowly deteriorates, forcing seth to move back into town (see there's another sick person like wtf sam go get some new ideas) so he can finally mend things for real with her (he spent all those years not-quite-hating-but-not-also-loving his mom because of the affair she had)
> when his mom dies, he finds himself stuck re: he hates himself for wasting so many years that he could have had with her. he gets into some kind of internal struggle, quits his job, and lives in their old house as he tries to recuperate from the shock.
> when kyla hears about this, she makes an effort to help him.
> insert kyla and seth moments
> insert some 2 am phone calls
> insert some "what do you mean you still haven't eaten yet that's it i'm coming over to cook something for you" days
> insert kyla telling him more about her father's death
> insert seth s l o w l y reverting into a happier version of himself
> insert seth and kyla becoming closer
> insert more kyla and seth moments until one day......
> they go to cloudland with the rest of the gang, just for old time's sake. they fall behind the others so they're a good distance away from them. the back of their hands sort of brush together as they walk side by side. neither of them speak. then, still without saying a word, seth loops his pinky around kyla's. kyla looks up, they look into each other's eyes, and slowly smile.
> then the ferris wheel breaks down, falls, and kills everybody.
> the end.
> nah just kidding. it ends with the smile. AND NOPE, there are no ABSOLUTELY NO talks between them about getting back together. they loops pinkies, smile, and THAT'S IT. (in case anyone is wondering)

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i /used to/ when i was first writing it. after the rewrite, i realized their relationship is kind of toxic. i'll probably ship them more as they are in the sequel (i'll never write).

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