I love my bf but here's the problem. I'm in mostly AP classes in high school and he is like a C student. Everything else about him is wonderful. It really bothers me. I try to help him but he just says school is not his thing. What do I do?

February 16, 2018

Your bf may have learning disabilities. If everything else about him is wonderful, you are going to have to decide if being a great student is on your make-it-or-break-it list. For some, being at the same educational level is important, while for others not so much.

I can't get my husband to take his dishes to the sink. He just leaves them at the table. Our kids have started doing this too. When I mention this to him he just says he forgets. Then I'm stuck with everyone's dishes. How do I "train" them?

February 16, 2018

Don't make or serve dinner until they do their parts. Your husband is being an anal orifice! Tell them you are on strike until they begin to help. My guess is his mother spoiled him by doing what you were doing.

My bf all of a sudden has started getting a lot bigger. I asked him if he's taking steroid but he won't give me a straight answer. He says it's just from better workouts. Can that happen just from workouts?

February 16, 2018

If this has happened in a short amount of time, say a couple of months, he's probably using steroids but does not want to admit it to you. It takes many months of hard workouts to get a lot bigger.

My bio parents had a nasty divorce when I was 3. My dad remarried and I have a half sister who is 5 years younger than me. I've tried to get close to her but she won't return my messages. I'm really hurt and don't know what to do. I don't know why she would do that. Any help would be appreciate

February 16, 2018

There are many reasons that are possible. You don't know what your dad's new wife has said to your half sister, and that may be one of the reasons. I would just move on. I often tell people not to try to be with people who really don't want to be with you.

Me and my bf are both 27. Our parents are from the "old country." We want to get married in a small civil wedding but we're getting a lot o pressure from both sets of parents to do a big traditional wedding. We want to respect our parents but are not interested in a big wedding. Do we just cave?

February 16, 2018

Very difficult question. Especially in different cultures, weddings are often for both of the whole families. Even though it's your wedding, I would suggest going along with both sets of parents. I always tell others that they are not just marrying spouses. They are marrying families.

My girlfriend comes from a very poor family. My family is pretty well off. My gf says she is intimated by my family. I really love her and want to marry her but I don't know how to overcome her insecurity. Can this work?

February 16, 2018

All you can do is to keep telling her you love her. If it turns out that she can not get past her insecurity, there is really nothing you can do.

I started going out with this guy and found out he's also going out with another woman. We never made any commitment to each other that we would not date others. I just assumed and I know that's on me but I'm pissed. The more I think about it the more it upsets me. Says I'm just creating drama.

February 16, 2018

He is correct that the two of you have not made a commitment. Maybe it’s time to sit down and talk about having a committed relationship.

My gf's family is really well off. Here's my problem. Whenever I go over to pick her up her father slips me a hundred bucks. He tells me not to worry and that he knows I work hard. He's just trying to help. I haven't told my gf. Do I tell her? Do I not accept the money? I'm confused.

February 16, 2018

Her father probably realizes that she is “expensive” and you may not be able to afford what she is used to. He may be trying to help you. Just be appreciative and accept it as a gift. If you feel really uncomfortable, you can always talk with him.

How to win my ex back. We broke up a week ago. Still love together but I think he’s talking to someone else. But I’m really really in love with him...

February 09, 2018

If you could provide a little more information such as your ages and how long you have been together, it would be very helpful.

My bf asked me how I felt about threesomes. I was kind of shocked he asked that and didn't know what to say. Now after thinking about it I'm upset. Why would he ask me that? It makes me feel like I'm not meeting his needs. Do people really like these things?

February 09, 2018

As the saying goes, it's between consenting adults (assuming you are over the age of consent). The first rule is – never involve yourself in something that makes you uncomfortable, no matter how much you are pressured. This could be a make-it-or-break-it issue for the two of you. Some people like it, some don't. No judgement here, but I'm guessing he's been thinking about this awhile. Maybe it's time to seek some professional advice to help you sort out your feelings and actions.

I'm trying to be supportive of my gf. She wants to get a boob job. I've told her I will support whatever decision she makes, but I think she's perfect the way she is. We are both in our 20's and plan on getting married. I'm worried about her decision affecting family planning. What should I tell

February 09, 2018

I suggest you both talk with her gyn. That way you are both hearing objective information from an expert in that area. Clearly, she has some self-esteem issues surrounding how she sees herself. It's great that you are supportive, but the "problem" started way before you were on the scene. Your action is perfect. Just continue to be supportive.

I'm 17. I've told my parents I'm really in love with my gf. They tell me that at my age I really don't know what love is. This really upsets me but are they right? I'm confused.

February 09, 2018

There are different kinds and levels of love. Love at 17 is true love but is different than love at, let's say, 30 or 60. I caution parents never to say "You don't know what love is." All that does is invalidate your feelings and upset you. Your feelings are real. They may not be the same as you will have in another 15-20 years, but they are real and should not be dismissed as just "puppy love." Remind them how they felt when they were your age.

My partner and I are told we are "good looking females." But one comment really upset us. These two guys tried to pick us up but when we told them we were a couple, their comment was "What a waste of good looks." I don't know if they were drunk or what but it really upset us both. Why would they

February 09, 2018

Aesthetically pleasing looks are not limited to straight males or females. Good for the two of you that you are complimented on your looks. These guys are obviously ignorant when it comes to LGBTQ issues and do not understand how ignorant they sound and how hurtful their comments and behaviors are. You actually don't need to say anything since your silence will say it all. If you feel you need to say something, you could just say that the two of you are quite happy and don't view your relationship as a waste at all.

I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months. I just found out that he has not taken himself off the dating sites. When I confronted him he said he just forgot and would do it right away. His accounts haven't been active but I don't know why he wouldn't have taken his profile down.

February 09, 2018

You've stated there is no action on his part, so maybe just ask him – calmly and politely – to make the accounts inactive. Otherwise you come across as paranoid. It certainly is possible he just didn't get around to it. Since he is willing to do what you've asked, you might want to think about going along with that and seeing how things work out. Trust is a huge component of successful relationships.

Me and my bf did your Love Shopping List. We both scored high. But I'm just worried about our relationship all the time. Can two people score high and no be right for each other? I don't want to make a mistake – again.

February 09, 2018

Our app is designed to empower you to make better relationship choices, not to make the choices for you. It is just a tool to help you. If you were both honest, it's unlikely that you are not compatible. That doesn't mean you are an automatic match. Take your time and get to know each other better. That way you'll have more information with which to make your decision.

I'm 23. I've started dating this really nice guy. I have a 3 year old son. When to I tell this guy about my son? I don't want to scare him off, but I do want to be honest with him. We've had 3 dates. My friends say not to say anything yet. IDK.

February 09, 2018

I always tell people that TMI on the first or second date is a real turn off. I would say that this would be a good time to tell him since you don't want to come across as hiding this from him or leading him on. He is going to have to understand that he is dating both of you. If that works for him, then you are good to go. If not, it's better that you break things off now rather than later.

I don't know what to do. I am 18 and a senior in school. My math teacher is 23. I'm obsessed with him. I want him to ask me out. Since I'm an adult, is there any problem? I don't want to do anything that would get him in trouble.

February 09, 2018

Yes, there's a huge problem. You could cause him to lose his job and have his teaching credential revoked (assuming he has one). It is quite common for students to have a crush on their teachers. If you care about him as much as you say, stay away from him until you are out of high school. Otherwise you both could wind up getting hurt.

We've been married for three years and have never had any problems but this makes me wonder. Do you think I'm being paranoid. He hasn't tried to hide it from me. He knows I look over the bills. What do I do?

February 02, 2018

This could go either way. You can certainly ask why the same place several times in a month. As you state, he knows you're going to see everything, so he's not trying to hide anything. On the down side, maybe he doesn't care whether you know or not. Time for a heart-to-heart discussion to clear the air. If you think you need it, get professional help with this.

But she says that they would probably cover for me. I don't know what else to do. I've tried just calling her and talking for an hour or so, but sometimes it doesn't work because I'm in a different time zone. Unfortunately, I'm the victim of the actions of many of my teammates. How do I convince her

February 02, 2018

Most likely there are two forces at play- her low self-esteem and her trust issues somewhere from the past. All you can do is exactly what you have been doing. If that isn't good enough for her, you should probably move on. Couples' counseling might help.

What do you think, in which movie perfect romantic relationships exist?

February 02, 2018

There's always drama in relationships. Relationships are never perfect. Movies mirror real life but are also written to tell highly dramatic stories so as to be emotional and award winning.

I am a college athlete. When we go on road trips a lot of the other guys do one night hook ups. I've never done that and won't. My gf has questioned me several times. I always tell her to ask my teammates and they will tell her I'm asleep in my room by 9.

February 02, 2018

Most likely there are two forces at play- her low self-esteem and her trust issues somewhere from the past. All you can do is exactly what you have been doing. If that isn't good enough for her, you should probably move on. Couples' counseling might help.

I got pregnant when I was 15. I'm now 30. Me and my daughter look like sisters. I look about eight years younger than I am and she looks about eight years older than she is. When we go out together, which is often, we get hit on together. This freaks her out. I think it's funny.

February 02, 2018

Good for you that you two are close and that you look young. Tell her she's got good genes. This is amusing for you, but keep in mind she is a vulnerable teenager with a teenage brain. Obviously, the two of you are very close. Listen to her feelings and ask her how she'd like to handle a similar situation in the future. Validate her feelings. Remember, you are a parent first and maybe a bff second.

I was going over our credit card statements and recently saw that my husband had been at the same coffee shop a number of times last month. I asked him what was up with that and he got very defensive. THAT causes me to have doubts.

February 02, 2018

This could go either way. You can certainly ask why the same place several times in a month. As you state, he knows you're going to see everything, so he's not trying to hide anything. On the down side, maybe he doesn't care whether you know or not. Time for a heart-to-heart discussion to clear the air. If you think you need it, get professional help with this.

Me and my bf been going together for almost two years. All of a sudden he tells me he thinks I should get a boob job. I cried for two days I was so hurt. I'm average size so I don't know what his problem is. I was thinking about doing it just for him but IDK.

February 02, 2018

My first reaction is to tell him to accept you as you are, or he can go %@#! himself. This is not someone who appreciates you for who you are. You could certainly tell him you'd be happy to get a boob job if he gets a penis job. Wait until you see the look on his face. The bottom line is that he views you very differently than you view him. Don't allow anyone to talk to you that way.

I'm having trouble deciding between two women I've been dating. I actually don't like dating two women. I prefer a monogamous relationship as long as it lasts. But I'm intrigued by both of them. They both know the other exists. What do I do? I don't want to hurt either of them.

February 02, 2018

At this point one of them is going to wind up very disappointed no matter how well you handle it. I would suggest using our app, Love Shopping List, to help you figure out which one is best suited for you. It will at least give you a place to start. Once you decide, be a kind person and sit down face-to-face with the other woman. Don't do it in an email or text. Expect to get crap back, but don't react. Just listen and then move on.

Dr. Andrew

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