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I'm not sure how to handle this. My gf is naturally very well endowed. I don't make a big deal about it, but a lot of my friends do. I'm not sure what to say so I just smile. Is that ok?

You could go the whole "it's so disrespectful" route but I doubt it would get you anywhere. You could get upset and tell them to STFU. You could ask them nicely to knock it off. Or you could ignore it. The problem with the last one and just smiling is it doesn't stop their behavior. Ask them nicely once. If it happens again, it's ok to confront them. Just don't have it escalate to something physical.

My bf LOVES sports. It's all he talks about. I love him and think he's neat but WTF. Is this a guy thing? This goes on all year with the different sports. What do I do?

Many people, women included, are sports junkies. I tell people who are not actually interested in the sports just to use the gatherings as social events. If it's at home, just go about your business. The most important thing is how he treats you otherwise. If everything else is good, just smile.

I'm a guy. Me and this other guy met online. We're thinking about getting together but now I'm worried it might be some kind of scam or something. Some of my other friends said to get him checked out. Does that really work?

I recommend that unless you know someone really well, you do your due diligence and run a background check. If there are no problems, it will put your mind at ease. If there are, you will have avoided unnecessary pain.

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My bf smokes a lot of pot. He says it's legal where we live so it's no different than drinking. I've tried to get him to cut down but nothing works. Could he be an addict?

Let me answer the second part first. I'm not sure what you mean by "a lot," but it can be both psychologically and somewhat physically addicting. Too much can also create marijuana psychosis (I have neuroelectrical brain scans to prove it!). To the first part, someone who drinks in excess a lot and has consequences as a result is called an alcoholic. Ultimately, you have to decide if you want to stay with him if he doesn't respect your wishes.

We are getting married in 4 months. My fiance's mother insists that she have input into everything since she's paying for the wedding. We've tried to give her some things, but she's trying to control everything. Any ideas?

You've got a bigger problem because unless you set limits, this is what your future will look like. Explain to her that while you genuinely appreciate her paying for the wedding, it's very important psychologically to the relationship that you two begin to make decisions together and doesn't she want a solid relationship for you.

My gf insists that I "learn" to put the toilet seat down. This has caused many arguments. I don't ask her to put it up when she's done. Who's right?

Here's the difference. If you leave it up, especially at night, she falls in. If she leaves it down, the worst that happens is you drip on the seat. Show a little respect here if you have any hopes of having your relationship last.

I love my grandparents very much. I'm 19 and have been going with this guy for more than a year . They live about 500 miles away. They say he can't stay at their house. What do I do?

The simplest solution is to stay in a motel nearby. That works out well all the way around.

My bf has two moms. They are both super cool. My parents are giving a hard time about them. I don't know what to do or say. It really upsets me.

Respectfully call them on it. Have a discussion with them, and ask them why they are so opposed. Sometimes it's religion, and sometimes just learned prejudice.

How reliable are online services that investigate people? I want to date this guy but I've heard bad stories about dates so I want to know.

There are different levels of investigations. I would tell you to get the higher priced ones since they are generally more thorough. Check out the reviews. The good ones will give you a ton of information.

My bf wants me to get a boob job. He says that would make me perfect. I really love him so I'm thinking about it. Should I?

Here's what I think you should get- A NEW BOYFRIEND! Also tell him he'd be perfect if he got his penis enlarged!

I'm 16 and in college. I'm having trouble because guys look at me as jail bait. I understand the law, but I can still go out. What do I do?

Just be yourself. You will find a young gentleman who will ask you out and treat you well. BTW, you must be smart since you're in college so young, so you'll find your way.

My mom is dating this guy I think is a jerk. I know she's lonely, but I don't like the way he treats her. How should I handle this?

In a nice but firm way call him on it when you hear it. Sometimes when people are lonely they let others get away with things they would otherwise not.

what's the best way to get a guy's attention to take you out?

The best way is to find out what he's interested in, and talk to him about it. Of course, food also works with most guys :-)

Am I right to ask my bf how many women he’s had sex with before me? I don’t know why it bugs me so much, but I think I want to know. Maybe that will make the feelings go away.

No, you don’t have a “right” to know. I would be more concerned in him getting tested and openly giing you the results than which women he has slept with. Healthwise, that’s much more important.

I am heartbroken that my bf moved away. His dad got a transfer. Right now I feel like I’ll never find another person like him. How do I get over the feeling?

Like every broken heart, give it some time. There are lots of good people out there. Don’t try dating too soon because you will only wind up comparing guys to him. Just wait. You’ll know when the time is right.

I’m torn between two men. I have fun with both. Can I count on your app to help? I don’t want to screw this up.

Our app, Love Shopping List, is designed to empower you to make better decision. There are no guarantees. However, if you are honest with yourself, it will reveal a lot to you.

My bf is trying to tell me that sexting is not cheating. He insists he’s just having fun and that he has no intention of doing anything with any other woman. WTF?

People have different ideas on what constitutes cheating. I counsel patients that anything to do with sex with a person other than your relationship is cheating. And his excuse is BS. Clearly, if he knows it upsets you, he does not respect your wishes, which are certainly not unreasonable. I vote to dump him. Let’s see what others say.

I’m upset with my wife. We agreed to have only two children, but she wanted a third, so she got pregnant. How do I get over being mad. There’s nothing I can really do now. I love kids but I feel like she went behind my back.

First, you have a right to be upset since she did this on purpose and had agreed to limit your children. But then you have to ask yourself what good it does you to be mad. In time you’ll get over it and love the child. In the meantime you should get some short-term marriage counseling, since there are clearly issues underlying her move.

Me and my partner have kept our “gayness” under wraps at work because we don’t know how it will be received. We both have coworkers trying to set us up with women. What should we say?

Being practical, you have to make sure your jobs are not in jeopardy, even though discrimination is illegal. On the other hand, isn’t it time you were true to yourselves and come out? I’m always in favor of being true to yourself.

My parents don’t approve of my boyfriend because he is an occasional pot user. I’ve tried telling them that it’s no biggie, but they keep lecturing me. They want me to stop seeing him. They say since I live with them they get to tell me who I can and can’t bring home. Are they right?

I assume you are over 18. You can try reasoning with them, but it’s their house until you move out. It’s not that they are right. It’s that they get to set the rules in the house. They may be rigid, but keep in mind they are trying to look out for you sprinkled with a little bit (ok, maybe a lot) of control.

My gf gets very moody and nasty around her period. I try staying away but then she accuses me of not caring. I’m busted either way. Ideas?

I know this is difficult, but your gf is really suffering. When she’s past her period, suggest that she talk to her gyn. There are lots of good options so that neither of you has to go through this. Suggest, not tell.

(Cont.2) and guilty. My bf had agreed to stop liking other girls pictures but I found out yesterday that he still hasn't stopped. As I found a selfie with a chick barely wearing clothes liked by him. He already knows how much this upsets me. Is it wrong for me to be mad about this when we've already

See previous answers.

This girl and her family moved in next door to us. She’s my age. I see her at school all the time. I would love to ask her out, but I’m worried if it doesn’t work out that it will create a really awkward situation as neighbors. IDK what to do.

You can certainly ask her out. One of our friends’ sons started dating their neighbor. The two have been married for 18 years with two beautiful children. You never know..

(Cont.3) had this discussion and he said that he would no longer do this? It makes me feel like I'm undesirable and not being heard either. I hate feeling this way...

Do some things that will change how you feel about yourself. Focus on you. Find out what why he likes those photos. Be his fantasy. Males are very visual. Look at his liked photos as part of a manual to his heart.

This may be longer than the allotted characters. Almost six months ago, my bf and I got into a big argument with him liking a lot of pictures on IG of girls mostly showing off their bodies. I see it as disrespectful and I myself can't even like pictures of men because it makes me feel uncomfortable

Do not take it personally. You are desirable and your BF is attracted to you. Its important to understand that males do not mature as fast as females. You therefore have a perspective that he may not share until he "grows up". Your relationship may not be the perfect match that you desire but enjoy your time together and see where it goes. You can't change him but he may grow out of it over time. Do not make him feel he has to be secretive and hide it from you because that will just plant the seeds for a bad relationship.


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