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There’s this girl I like and I know she likes me but there’s a big problem. Her family is from a different culture and she told me they will ban her from the family unless she only dates guys from her culture. She says we should just keep it under wraps but still see each other. This worries me.

My guess is her family will not accept you no matter what. In fact, they may be upset even more if you try to talk with them. You are entering a cross-cultural world. Her parents have a certain belief system, and most likely nothing you are going to do or say is going to change their minds. It would be insulting to them because you would be questioning their values. This is an issue between the young lady and her parents. If you put yourself in the middle, you will wind up as the target

Me and this guy have been going together since the tenth grade and we are going to be seniors. We really like each other and get along really good. My friends keep saying I should break up and see what else is out there but I like what I have. Am I being stupid? I am really happy right now.

You need to do what is in your heart. If you really like each other and get along, why break it up? That makes no sense. There are many couples that have been friends and gone together for the same time period that wind up getting married, so your friends are just giving their opinions. Do what is best for you. That way you are responsible for what happens.

I am really worried about my senior year coming up. I don’t want to be alone but I also don’t want to be tied down in a relationship. What do other seniors do?

Most do what they feel is best for them. It’s all individual. If you are happy in your relationship, keep it because you will have a happy senior year together, and that’s always better than having it alone. If you are not happy, move on. Make sure the two of you talk about what happens after you

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I sometimes lie to people about my life in order to sound more interesting. I always regret it right after, but sometimes it just slips out. I guess I feel like people automatically assume I'm a boring person (b/c of past experience), but I actually have a fulfilling life. How do I stop w the lies?

Sounds like a job for super psych. Seriously, you should seek out a good therapist to explore the "why" of your behavior

I feel like ever since high school I've had a hard time adjusting to the "grown up life" I feel scared of life and unpredictability. I see my family and friends succeeding and I feel stuck in a rut. It's also really hard for me to socialize w/ people my age.

Start out with a theme oriented group like a club. That way you don't have to worry about connecting, and you'll be doing something you like. Then just go from there

I really like my co worker (who is married). I think of her as 1 of my best friends & one of the nicest people I've ever met. Lately I've been thinking about her in a more romantic sense, but I'd really like to stop because I understand that she'll never be mine. Do I have to stop being her friend?

If you both can keep your boundaries clear, you can certainly be friends. If not, don't go there

So there's this guy hes dated 4 of my friends already(what do I do) throughout all that time we've been friends recently we got in a fight hanging out with a boy and he confessed to having feelings for me I like him but I don't want our current relationship to be ruined if we break up what do I do?

I say you relax and enjoy the moment. Decide what to do later! Life's too short

There are people who are getting married five, six, or even eight times. Obviously, they are making poor decisions. I think they need your app Love Shopping List.


My bf’s family wants to take me to Hawaii with them. How do I convince my parents that it’s okay? I’m 17 and he’s 18 so it’s not like we are “too young”. We have been going together since the 9th grade.

The only thing I can think of is to have a meeting, maybe a dinner, and invite his family over so your parents can meet them, if they haven't already. They may still say no, but at least that way they are talking parent to parent.

My friends have been making stupid jokes about Caitlyn Jenner. I don’t say anything because I know they will just turn it around on me. Why can’t they just leave her alone?

You've heard of homophobia. Well, some people are transphobic, They are making fun because they really don't understand. Ignorant people generally make fun of things they can't or won't understand. You are probably right that they may turn on you if you say anything, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. Prejudice and bullying need to be called out,

If I want to give my gf a friendship ring what is the right amount to spend?

The right amount is whatever you can afford. I wouldn't go bonkers over a friendship ring. You may disagree, but probably the best person to ask is your mom or your significant older female. Definitely get some advice on what to get but don't go hog wild,

My little sister is 13 but looks like she 20. Guys keep coming up & asking me to set them up with her. When I tell them how old she is they say I’m lying just to protect her. She is pissed at me for not setting her up. What do I do? My mom works crazy hours so she’s not around & our father is not

You continue to tell guys her age to protect her. She is all giddy about having older guys interested in her. I assure you that while her body may look like 20, her brain and decision-making is still 13. You are a good protector. Keep it up,

I have been trying to get my bf to wear different clothes. I think he dresses way too casual and that’s the reason he doesn’t get promoted. He tells me that his clothes have nothing to do with it and his boss is an asshole. I’ve met his boss and he’s a reasonable guy. How do I convince my bf to

Your bf is being stubborn. He obviously never heard that "clothes make the man", particularly in the business world. It sounds like he's going to have to learn the hard way. Whenever he wears something that's even a slight upgrade, praise him by telling him how good he looks. BTW, my wife always has the final approval on what I wear.

I’m of a different culture. My parents won’t allow me to date at all even though I’m going to be a senior. There’s this guy that I really like and he likes me. We are trying to figure out what to do. How do other bi cultural people deal with this stuff?

It's too bad that you have to choose between your parents and your romantic life, but, yes, that's part of being bi-cultural. As tough as this may sound, I think if your parents are still insisting on their beliefs, you should honor your parents for now. When you enter college, you'll be on your own. You might try having them talk to other parents in your their culture, but they still may resist.

I’ve been burned twice in long term relationships so I’m freaked about getting close to anyone. I know there are no guarantees and all and you guys have an app and all, but does it really work? I would really like to be sure before I risk getting hurt again.

If you are honest with yourself and your evaluation of anyone you date, Love Shopping List, will work for you. As you said, there are no guarantees, but the app has worked well over and over.

Me and my bf are going into our senior year in high school. I’m really worried that we will be going to different colleges. Some of my friends say we should break up now so it doesn’t hurt so much after next year. Do you think they are right?

It's just my opinion, but I think your friends are wrong. It's wonderful to go through your senior year with someone close. The two of you can always decide what to do in a year. Just have fun your senior year and soak it all in.

I pushed this guy away from me because of my past and then I told him about it because he wanted to know why and now he's ignoring my messages but he always surprises me by talking to me in the beginning of the school year even if I say I don't want to be friends what do I do? what does this mean?

He clearly is not getting the message. You should sit down with him and explain that you have tried being, nice, courteous, and respectful, but he doesn't respect what you have said. That forces you to simply say, "Please leave me alone. I am no interested in being friends." Then don't respond to anymore of his advance.

Other people seem to be better at social conversations than me. I never know what to talk about so I keep quiet. I work on my eye contact really hard and I try to follow along with conversations but it’s hard. Is there an easy way to overcome this?

You just have to keep working at this. Either glance at the paper every day or check a news feed several times a day. This will give you plenty to talk about. The more you do this, the better you will be about making social conversations. It really just takes practice. You may never be totally comfortable, but you can certainly be more comfortable than what you are now.

My gf’s mother threw a shower for her for our engagement. She didn’t invite my mom. I am so pissed I want to tell her off. My gf says just to let it go but I can’t. I’m wondering if this is a picture of things to come in our relationship too.

Wow!! BIG red flag. This woman is evil. Unless there is something really wrong with your mom, you should absolutely tell the woman off, and so should her daughter. Your fiance not saying anything can only mean a few things: 1) she sees nothing wrong; 2) she's not willing to stand up to her mother; or 3) she will repeat some similar behavior. This is not a good sign for things to come, and you are absolutely spot on to be concerned.

My son is dating this girl. She seems nice but her family is a real mess. She has told me stuff that she asked not to tell him. Now I’m confused as to whether to tell my son what I know. I’m not trying to get in the middle but I am. Do I tell him?

You are going to have to handle this delicately, but your first obligation is to your son's welfare. You also need to tell her that she is putting you in an awkward position, that while you like her very much, she can't expect you to keep secrets from you son. She obviously feels close enough to you to talk with you. Suggest to her that she seek some help for the issues she has brought up. You could even offer to help her find it.

I got a little drunk and fooled around with my bff’s boyfriend. I feel horrible but I don’t know if I should tell her. We didn’t go all the way but close. I think I passed out before that.

First, please make better decisions about drinking in the future. There are too many bad things that can happen when you lose control in that way. You need to put your tail between your legs and fess up to you friend. Better it come from you than she hear it from someone else, like him telling her out of guilt. You did it, you own it, so take responsibility for it. The other part of this is her bf. That doesn't say a lot about him.

I am so tired of guys staring at me. it’s not like I wear stuff that’s tight but all they do is stare. Is this something all guys in high school do? It drives me nuts.

People in general have a tendency to stare at people who have been blessed (some say cursed) with good looks and/or a good body. You can say something to them, but probably in high school it will just cause them to tease you. Unless it is truly harassment , you can't stop people from looking. If it's anything beyond that, you need to report it to your counselor immediately.

This guy I really like is into porn. I’m not but I just go along with it. I’m worried if I tell him I don’t want to watch, he’ll break up with me.

So you have to ask yourself this question. Is it really worth making yourself uncomfortable just to stay with a guy. Relationships are supposed to be fun for both people, not just one. Here's a bit of advice going forward. Try not to ever put yourself in a situation or be with someone that makes you uncomfortable. Always respect yourself.

Is there a really good way to tell our friend he is dating the wrong girl? Everyone sees it except him. She lies to him.

I would suggest our app, Love Shopping List, but sometimes even that won't work because the person will not be honest with themselves. The only thing all of you can do is a type of intervention. Sit down with him and explain that as his friends you all see things that are really concerning. Express them, but then you are going to have to back off and let him decide. He may not listen to you and go down the wrong path. One of my good friends did that, and it took him seven years to realize he made a huge mistake. Just be there for him when the stuff hits the fan.

My bro is 3 years older than me and I’m 16. He thinks he’s like my parent about who I go out with. It really pisses me off. He is critical of all the guys I date. What do I do?

Try telling him how much you appreciate that he cares about you and is concerned. Let him know how much you "appreciate" him trying to protect you but that you would like an opportunity to make a few mistakes along the way. Also, ask him for some advice, which he will be happy to give. That way he can still assume the role of big, protective brother, and he'll think you are wonderful. Win-win situation.


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