Dr. Andrew

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My boyfriend rides motorcycles. I keep telling him that they are dangerous but he won't listen to me. I want him to be around for his children. Why doesn't he care?

It's not that he doesn't care. People who ride are quite passionate about it. Yes, there are the statistics about motorcycles and all, but, trust me, you are not going to change his mind. It's best that you just make sure he has the most up to date helmet and other gear. While I'm not a rider, I have ridden and can understand why so many really enjoy it. Don't be a nag.

Me and my bf bin doin spice. It’s legal so I don’t see the big woop. His mom caught us and now she is all over us. Why don’t she mind her own business?

The fact that synthetic marijuana is legal does not make it safe. His mother is trying to protect both of you. If you follow the news, you will find that there have been many people made very sick from using spice. The idea that because it's legal means you can do anything you want is really not watching out for your health. In addition, no one really knows what the long term side effects are. Please be careful

I’ve been married for a little over a month. I just found out my wife has been lying to me about how much she has been drinking. I am furious to the point I want out now. I’m also scared. How do I stop her?

Getting angry will not help either of you. Suggest to her that you love her very much and don't want to lose her. Explain that you would like to get professional help for both of you. If you blame and shame her, and she does have a problem, it will only push her further away and force her to hide her use. Being open and honest is the most effective way to handle this. One of my specialties is substance abuse, and I've never seen anything good come of getting angry.

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My gf's mother feels obligated to give us her opinion on everything. It’s getting to the point I want to tell her off, but I don’t want to upset my gf. Do you have any little tricks that might work?

Talk to your gf about your concerns. If the two of you approach her together, things will go much better than if you tell her mother off alone. Just approach her in a respectful fashion without any kind of nasty attitude. Explain that you would really appreciate her not giving advice on matters unless the two of you ask. You may have to take it up a few notches if she doesn't respond to the nice nice way. But try not to get nasty.

My gf is really buff. She is a triathlete. People think she’s a les and stuff. I think she’s great the way she is. What do I say to people who ask questions about her? I think it hurts me more than my gf when they say shit.

Just smile and enjoy the view. It's great that you want to be protective, but you are not going to change anyone's mind. Just keep up the good relationship, and the rest will take care of itself. People making those comments are very narrow minded and stuck in last century's ideas that females can't be solidly in shape. I'm also going to guess that many making comments are males who are threatened by your gf.

My husband and I disagree on the girl our son is dating. My husband keeps asking our son if he is sure this is who he wants to marry. I think she’s sweet. I wouldn’t pick her for him because he seems happy. It’s causing a rift between my son and my husband. Any suggestions?

Your husband is making the classic mistake of telling your son directly. Most children are not going to take advice on relationships from someone who is close. That's the reason that a lot of people get relationship counseling BEFORE they get married. Also, you can't be the mediator. Tell your husband to trust that the work the two have you have done will provide your son a good basis of making his own decisions. Of course, if you screwed up on how you raised him, it will come home to roost. It's ok to tell your son you have some concerns, but you and your husband have to let go. Otherwise, your son's relationship with his father will suffer.
Liked by: Brianna Nicole

Is being in a sport team make girls wanna talk boys

All people have different interests. It doesn't make any difference whether it's a female or a male. If a female is interested in sports, she will find a male who is involved in sports interesting. Not all girls like athletes, just like not all girls like guys involved in drama or art. If you are going to go out for a sport, do it because you really like the sport and not to try to impress someone else.

Your app on IOS should be available on Google play stores for android. When is that coming out?

We are trying to get it out by the end of this year. We realize how many more people could benefit. It was never our intention to only do IOS, but it's taken a bit more time and resources than initially planned.
Liked by: Aman Singh

I don't know if I should tell my bf I was molested. I'm worried he won't love me any more. I'm ashamed and feel like damaged goods. Is that how guys think?

Any real man, for that matter any genuine person, will appreciate your honesty and be supportive of you. I would very much suggest you get some professional help with this. You need to remove the guilt and shame that still burdens you.

My boyfriend acts all macho and hard when he's in front of his homies but he's really a sweetie. Why can't he show his sensitive side with me in public.

He is locked into the old fashioned idea that a man can not display any emotion except anger when in public. Sometimes it's a culture thing, and sometimes it's a family dynamics thing.
Whatever it is in your case, just keep telling him how much you appreciate it when he is sensitive.

So how do we handle this??? Our next door neighbors "John and Sally" keep doing the same thing. He comes on to me and she comes on to my husband. We are not interested but we are trying to keep being neighborly but its hard.

You may have to cut off the relationship with them. You can tell them that the two of you are not comfortable, but that will probably end the relationship anyway. Just be honest about your feelings, and let the sticks fall where they may.

My gf is on the track team and so am I. I noticed she's been dropping a lot of weight and I'm really worried. I know she's a runner but is it good for a female to be really thin?

If your really concerned, talk to her coach. She may need some serious help

This bitch goes after my bf. I tried nicely to tell her that it wasn't cool to do that but she keeps it up. My bf just laughs it off and says not to worry about it. I feel like takin her down. What can I say that gets the idiot to listen?

You can try telling her in a non threatening way, but it lay go in one ear and out the other. Just stay strong and don't sink to her level. Of course, what I'd really like to say is, "Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do,"but that wouldn't be very professional of me, would it

I really have the hots for this guy but I've had 2 bad relationships. He seems pretty decent so far. I don't want to get hurt again. I noticed your LSL app. Will that help?

Yes, our app, Love Shopping List, will absolutely help. Your situation is exactly what it was designed to do. It will help you evaluate your relationships.
Liked by: Brianna Nicole

hello Dr. Andrew.. how are you? I have a weird thing when it comes to girls. when I would go up to a girl or if a girl comes up to me, I would get nervous and I wouldn't know what to say. I'm 24, male and never had a girlfriend before. What would it take for a cute girl to notice me?

Try just being yourself because if you try being something you are not, you will fail. After you have more experience, you won't feel as awkward. Confidence comes with successful experiences.

Why would someone send me a love card and then go out with someone else? I'm really confused. I would like to keep seeing him but I am not interested in being a part of his little girl posse.

I think you hit the nail right on the head. As the saying goes, he wants his cake and eat it, too. It sounds like he's trying to keep every female on the line at the same time. You need to set clear boundaries and tell him that you are only interested if he respects you and honors your relationship.
Liked by: Brianna Nicole

My bf says 3 ways r normal. I've never done anything like that so I don't know if he is right. Is he?

Please don't be that gullible that you believe what he says about everything. No, he's not right. It's definitely NOT normal, but it certainly isn't abnormal. Sexual encounters between consenting adult is their business. Your bf is trying to get you to do what he wants without considering how you might feel. The next time he tells you that, tell him to go choke the chicken! :-)
Liked by: Brianna Nicole

I went to the prom with this guy and now I can't get rid of him. He's nice and all but I'm not interested in going with him. How do I tell him in a nice way that won't hurt his feelings?

Firstly, thank him, again, for taking you to the prom. Then you'll have to be honest with him. You can tell him pretty much exactly what you said in your question. You think he's a really nice guy, but you are not interested in a relationship. Gentle honesty is the best way. You have no control over his feelings, but he will probably be hurt anyway. He'll get over it. Just be polite and respectful.

Why do people hv so much trouble with me a Latina and my bf being AA? We don't judge anyone else but people keep judging us. I would think that in 2014 it wouldn't be a big deal anymore.

You can't generalize to ALL people, but make no mistake, racism and prejudice is still very much alive and well all around the world. It may be in the minority now, but there are some who still harbor deep beliefs about "mixing the races" even though it will be continued. As the saying goes, "Ya can't fix stupid." All you can do is prove them wrong by not reacting and having a successful, loving relationship. Stay strong.

My gf is a bit over the top with pda's. I try telling her it makes me uncomfortable but she keeps doing it. Is there something I can say that will get the message thru?

Your actions will speak louder than your words. You can always refuse to participate. It's not like you are her slave and have no control over the situation. You can also just flat out tell her that if she continues, you simply can't be with her because it makes you so uncomfortable.

What are the examples that boys know that girl have a crush on him

For starters, how about if she is just paying attention to you. A lot also depends on the ages of the people involved. Hopefully, more mature individuals will not resort to elementary school behaviors to get attention. Some of those are boys acting stupid with girls to get attention, and girls gushing over boys. It's also okay to ask, but I wouldn't just go right up and say, "Hey, do you like me?" Try to be a little more diplomatic.

basically show him what he is doing is fine I wouldn't be in so much pain or should I react and show him everything he doing is wrong

You have every right to be upset, and you have every right to be emotional. He is not taking your feelings into account and is wanting to justify his actions, take a big frosting knife, a just smooth everything over. It doesn't work that way. But don't be mad at your half-siblings. They didn't cause it, and they may have similar feelings to you. Unfortunately, your father seems to be an anal orifice in this case and is expecting you to accept it on his terms.

My bf had surgery and started taking pain meds. I think he’s just using it as an excuse now to use. I don’t want to break up but I need to know if he is an addict. Is there a test?

There is not a test to see if he's an addict, but AA and NA both can give you guidelines to tell you if there is a problem. The only real test is a drug test, but that would come out positive since he is taking pain meds. As you are probably aware, prescription pain meds are the most abused and are more responsible for overdoses than any other prescribed or recreational drugs. You have every right to be worried. The first place for you to start is to go to an Alanon meeting.

My father is a big scary dude but he’s really nice. The problem is when guys come to the house to get me and see him they don’t ask me out twice. it’s almost like I want to tell him to wait in another room. He doesn’t question them or anything like that. I love him but How do I handle this?

It's not your father's issue, it's the guys who are taking you out. Secure guys will not be intimidated, and, in fact, will bond easily with your father. Rather than hide him, put him on display. It will actually be a good test for the guys you date to see what they are made of.

We argue over stupid shit like how to hang up a towel. We never argue over anything real big. Is there some formula to stop this?

Yes, and I mentioned this in a previous answer this evening. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Basically, what is happening is that you are playing the win-loss game, which is dangerous for relationships. Just remember, if you think you've won, you have lost because the loser will ALWAYS find a way to get even, and the cycle will not stop.


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