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I flew home with my gf to meet her family. OMG! I wouldn’t want to ever be near them again. I can’t believe she came from that family. What the hell do I do now? I’m really into her but the thoughts of her family have me turned off.

You've got some tough roads ahead. If you are really serious about her, you are going to have to sit down with her and carefully and respectfully discuss it with her. You don't mention whether or not she warned you or there was some indication from her of what you were going to experience. If she hasn't said anything about your experience, that may be the strongest evidence that she sees her family's behaviors as normal and acceptable. The only way you'll know is to be open and honest about your feelings. It may cost you the relationship, but better you know now.

Me and this guy told each other we would only go together for the Christmas break. But now I really have feelings for him. How can I find out if he feels the same way?

Just try hanging out with him. You'll know soon enough if he feels the same way, especially if you had a great time on Christmas break. He may be trying to figure this out as well. You might ask him, "What do you think of that agreement we made about only going together during Christmas break?" His answer will answer your question.

I got really really drunk on New Year’s and cheated on my bf with his bf. To be honest I don’t remember a lot. My bf was at the same party and was really drunk too so I don’t know what he was up to. How do we straighten this out now?

What's wrong with this picture? Let's start with why everyone was so drunk. I assure you that as long as you and everyone else is so drunk, things like this will continue to happen. You and your bf would do well to seek some professional help to get through this. The bigger issue is how you are behaving that risks much more than you realize. Please love yourself enough to take better care of yourself.

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My daughter says I’m being old fashioned about her choice of clothes. She just turned 16 and goes out wearing things that could best be described as “revealing.” She says that’s the way everyone dresses today. I’m trying to be open minded. What do other parents do?

And who pays for her clothes??? As long as she is in your house, she lives by your rules. Yes, it's old fashioned, but if more parents acted like parents and set limits, it would eliminate a lot of problems. Now I sound like the one who's old fashioned. The job of a teenager is to test the limits. The job of a parent is to set them.

I’m 25 and just got divorced after 2 yrs. I’m just getting back into the dating scene. I’m concerned about getting in a rebound relationship. Is there a way to know that?

You need to get your priorities straight. You need to be wiser for the journey so far. Give yourself some time before jumping back into a relationship. Give yourself some time to really figure out what you want. Our app, Love Shopping List, would be a great place to start. It will jump start you on organizing your priorities.

I put off breaking up w my bf until after the new year because I didn’t want to be alone. Now he says I was just being selfish and I should have told him before. Is he right? I feel so bad.

There's never a great time to break up, but you have to look at it from his point of view. He feels like he was used just for New Years' even though you were trying to not have him go through New Years' alone. He'll get over it. It's not that either of you is right or wrong. It's that you are coming from different points of view.

Okay, I'm still in love with my ex but I have a gf and I only went out with her to get over my ex but I still love her. I have a strong feeling our souls are connected and destined to be together.... What should I do? I can't break up with my gf or 65% of the school will hate me

You can't live your life worrying about what others will think of you. You need to be true to yourself. If you and your gf have a thing, you need to go with that. You may take some flak for a short period of time, but they'll get over it. That being said, don't be such a jerk next time.

I feel like I made my brother in law uncomfortable by talking about this woman I had sex with. I feel like an ass hole because I'm not "that guy." How do I apologize to him and let him know that I didn't mean to offend.

I'm not sure why you discussed it with your b-i-l, but did you cross some religious or cultural boundary that he stands for? Or did you talk about the woman in a disrespectful way? In any event just explain that you did not realize you would offend him and that you were really coming to him to sort things out in your head, and in the future you won't do that again and are sincerely sorry. I'm not sure what you mean by "that guy" since men do have sex. Obviously, there are some subjects that should never be discussed with him again in the future.

Our good friend treats his gf like shit. She is a super lady. We’ve tried to talk to him but he just says its between them. We don’t know why he’s doing this because none of us treat each other or women this way. Is there some way we can get through?

Having been through this myself, there is not a whole lot you can do other than sit down as a group, tell him that because you are good friends, you feel he should at least let all of you tell him what you see and that all of you would appreciate his opinion if you were acting poorly. His actions come from some place other than what all of you see. In my case it took 10 years for my friend to see the light. It's hard, but you should do whatever you can. Friends try not to let friends act badly.

My little sister (17) keeps hitting on my friends. They mostly already have girlfriends but the rest have told me it makes them uncomfortable. Me and my sis are close. How do I tell her without making her feel bad?

She's going to feel bad and probably a bit embarrassed, but you have to let her know that what she's doing is making others uncomfortable. You also have to be very careful not to shame and blame her because that could drive her into a bad place. Explain that because the two of you are close, you want to have others look at her with the same good feelings that you have for her. Your situation is not unusual. She sees all these "older" men, and it's attractive to her on a lot of different levels. Guide her gently but firmly or you will begin losing friends.

I cheated on my bf. I haven’t told him but I feel real guilty. Is it a good idea to tell him?

Honesty is not ALWAYS the best policy, especially if it is going to hurt someone deeply. You sound like you want to tell him so YOU feel better. That's not necessarily the issue. You have to ask yourself why you did what you did. You also have to look down the road and examine the possibility that he will find out from someone else. In that case, yes, it's better to come from you, even though it may cost you the relationship. I would strongly suggest you getting some help from a therapist so you can sort things out because you sound very confused right now. Try not to beat yourself up too badly. A bad decision does not make a bad person. If you decide to tell him, also say that you would like to go to therapy with him to sort things out.

Our daughter thinks its our responsibility to pay for her wedding. She says its what parents are supposed to do. We want to be a part of her wedding but we feel like we are being held hostages.

You are supposed to love her, feed and clothe her, and protect her until she's an adult. PERIOD! Anything else is whatever the two of you feel you would like to do, not what you are bullied into doing. If you would like to pay for the wedding, I would definitely set some hard and fast limits because it sounds like she has a bad case of entitlement. Yes, most parents at least contribute to weddings if they can. Many do pay for the weddings, but it's because they want to and not because someone says they have to. Sorry, but she sounds a bit spoiled and entitled. Again, set very clear boundaries in whatever you are going to do. You feel like hostages only because you are allowing yourselves to be held hostage. The question really is why?

When is the best time to propose to my gf? I keep getting mixed advice. I want to do it right.

he absolute best time is the one you pick. As long as you two are sure about moving forward, then it's up to you. I'm sure everyone means well, but opinions are like anal orifices - everybody has one. Obviously, if you are considering a proposal, the two of you have a well-established relationship. Listen to you heart. For sure, that will be doing it right. Also, be fun and creative when you propose. You'll both have good memories.

My gf has been working out hard. The problem is its too hard. She’s now become obsessed with how she looks. How do I get her to take a step back?

It really depends on how long this has been going on and what are the psychological effects. It can be that she just feels really good about herself now and likes all the compliments she's getting. However, it can also become an addiction and a body image issue. Most people even out after awhile, maybe a few months. If the workouts are coupled with severely restricted eating, you may be looking at an eating disorder. My suggestion would be just to take a wait-and-see approach to see how it plays out. If it begins to interfere in all aspects of her life, then that is the time to take some action by going to see a therapist to explore the reasons she is acting in that manner.

Me and my bf want to get married. We are both in high school. We feel we are mature enough now but everyone says to wait.

Without this sounding as a put down, the fact is that no matter how mature you think you are, the decision-making part of our brains does not mature for several more years. That's science, not an opinion. That means you are making a life-altering decision without the benefit of a fully developed decision-making ability. My suggestion would be that the two of you continue to go together. If it's right, there will always be time to get married later. Give yourselves some breathing room to enjoy your adolescent years without all the responsibilities that come with marriage. I'm not saying not to get married young (we were 22 & 21). I'm just saying to give yourselves a bit more time. You will be glad you did.

Where can I download your book? I'd like the eBook version.

There are a number of places you can buy the e-Book version of Love Shopping List.
You can have your choice by going to www.bit.ly/BuyTheLSLBook
We hope you enjoy it, and we know it will be helpful.

What is a reasonable time for my brother-in-law to “visit?” He has stayed with me and my husband for 4 weeks now.

I think that "reasonable" is whatever you and your husband decide is right. What was discussed up front, and why has he stayed so long? 4 weeks is not a visit. Often guests are like fish. They begin to stink after 3 days. If he is taking advantage of your generosity, then you two need to set a limit. Otherwise he will continue. Are there other circumstances here that would make telling him it's time for him to go awkward or hurtful. Has he been traumatized in anyway? These are all important things to consider when you discuss this with your husband.

What does it means when a guy says you're different from many others. I can tell you a bit what he said, you're different from others. You know nothing attracts me like I live in my own world. You're good girl. You ain't belon that world like when he asked me you know what both means and all

You would have to ask him. Different can mean many things and different things to different people. Try this: "So how do you think I'm different?" Do it with a smile on your face. The answer just may surprise you. Don't pre-judge something you know nothing about. That way you'll be more accepting ... and happy.

I met a guy who is just perfect in a lot of ways but when he gave me a kiss he did a horrible job, he used tounge and was totally sloppy It was an automatic turn off for me but now I feel no attraction or I don't know what should I do?

If he's as perfect as you say, then why toss him away because of a kiss. That's pretty extreme, dontcha think. Don't be afraid to tell him (or show him) exactly what you want. Don't be critical, be encouraging. If he's really as good as you say, he'll want to please you and make you feel good. He may not have that much experience with a really good kiss, so be patient. It just may pay off. Then you can enjoy all the "perfect" parts.

I feel like I romanticize things way too much in my head. It's hard for me 2 have any female friends, because I automatically start to "fall in love" w/ the idea of being with them. Why am I like this? Is there a way to stop thinking this way?

It sounds like you are a romantic and you really enjoy the fantasy of being in a relationship. It also sounds like you're not afraid of feelings and like to feel close to other people. There's nothing wrong with that. You might want to consider professional help to make you feel more comfortable.

should we really listen 2 what our dreams tell us? I keep having a dream about dating this girl I used to talk to about a year ago. We talked casually, but never flirty. We both did have a little crush on each other, but eventually we went on 2 different things (school, work).

Yes you should listen to this dream. Maybe it's time to reconnect with her since she is on your mind. Let her know that you have been thinking about her and wait to hear back from her.

My best male friend is seriously considering a Slave/ master relationship w/ a woman he met online. I think it sounds shady, but he won't listen to me. Why would anyone (male or female) be into this kind of thing? He says he needs excitement and he can leave whenever he's has enough.

Different strokes for different folks. It sounds like your friend has already made up his mind about what he wants to do. The only thing you can do is to tell him that you are worried about him.

How do I stop crying from breaking up with my bf? It seems like no matter what I do it reminds me of him and I start to cry all over again.

It is perfectly natural to cry when you are experiencing a loss. There are many stages of loss and it sounds like you are in the bargaining depression phase. Next comes acceptance. When you reach that phase you will feel better. Time is the best healer.
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