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I'm not sure how to handle this. This other family has a brother and sister the same ages of me and my bro but the girl is older. She's dating my bro and I'm dating her bro. I think it's ok but it's a little weird. Everybody thinks it's cute but IDK.

Hey, if it works, it works. Don't overanalyze it. Just enjoy. Definitely cute!! Relax and go with the flow.

I don't know what to do here. I posted a pic of myself but it's 2 years old and I've put on some weight since. Me and this guy have connected online and he now wants to meet up. I'm really worried I'll look like a bait-and-switch. Should I update my pic?

Yes, you should. Don't meet up with him for a few days after posting it. It would be a bait and switch if you did not update. Really not worth taking a chance. You'd want to know what he really thinks BEFORE meeting up with him.

I met this girl at the mall a few months ago and we had a lot of interests. So I found her on Facebook and messaged her. Fast forward to now. I realize she never saw the message and I saw yesterday at the mall again and we made eye contact. I added her on Facebook. How should message her now?

Ask to meet her at the mall, and explain to her what happened. That way you are face-to-face. It's always best to handle these types of matters in person.

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My bf of two years was killed in a car crash. I'm not sure I could ever love anyone like that again. How do people get past this?

The best thing I can tell you is what a cousin of mine said when I lost my wife to cancer. There will be a large gaping hole in your heart that will never close, but you'll get used to the draft coming through it. Every love is different, so you probably won't have the same love for another person in the same way, but you can love someone else in time. Be patient with yourself.

People tell me that honesty is always the best policy. I'm not sure that's always true. You are a professional. What do you think?

Definitely not always. As an example, if someone is quite overweight and asks you how they look, it would not be cool to tell them, "Yes, you are very fat." Being dishonest to try to con someone is not a good policy, but being careful not to hurt someone sometimes requires little "white lies."

Can love really be measured by brain scans? That sounds like some kind of voodoo science. How does that work?

One cannot measure love directly because it's an abstract concept, but the reward circuit in the brain can be observed and quantified. The brain lights up when something pleasureful is introduced. So the effects of an object of love can definitely be seen.

My gf's family invited me to go on vacation with them this summer. I really love her but that seems like it takes us to a whole different level of commitment. Do I just go and figure it out as I go?

If it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't go. However, if you're willing to take a chance, it could work out well. It will give you an idea of how the two of you will get along in a more intense situation. You'll know better how to move forward one way or the other.

My idiot step father wants to press charges against my bf because he's 18 ½ and I'm only 17 !/2. I told him to stay out of it but he said he can file charges against him anyway because I'm a minor. I want to put the brakes on this whole mess.

At 17 1/2 I'm doubtful any law enforcement agency will pursue it even if he files. Obviously, he's trying to control you, and I'm guessing there are much deeper issues than just your boyfriend. Don't do anything because it will only provoke him.

I am an only child and so is one of my female friends. Our families do everything together. She's like a sister to me because we are so close. I think both of us have feelings for each other but are worried about ruining our friendship. How do we handle that?

The most solid romantic relationships often start with being really good friends first. If your friendship is that strong, it will only enhance your relationship. Relax and enjoy. If it's to be, you'll know soon enough.

The plan was that when we got engaged my bf's brother was going to move out. That was 3 months ago. His brother is still in our apartment. I've brought up the "deal" but my bf says just to give him more time. Grrrrrrr! Now what?

Have him define "more time." Insist that he keep to his word. Clearly, his brother has used up his welcome. You don't say if there are extenuating circumstances, so consider the whole picture before drawing a hard line.

My girlfriend recently found out who her birth mother is and that she's in jail. This has sent my gf into a tail spin and she can't talk or think about anyone else. I'm not sure how to help her.

You can't. You are not trained to handle that, and you are too close. The best thing you can do is to get her professional help. This is a traumatic experience for her and needs to be handled very delicately by someone who understands trauma.

Me and this other girl are both 22 and are partners. My parents are cool with the relationship but hers are not. Not sure what to do. Do you have any ideas?

Talk to a local LGBTQ organization. They have people who have been through your situation and will be able to give you first-hand perspective and advice. They are in the best position to help you.

My parent are getting a divorce. I'm 16. I'm worried this will happen to me in the future. Is there anything I can do so that I don't repeat their mistakes? I'm really upset.

Get some help from a professional so that you can examine the reasons your parents are divorcing from your perspective. This way you can avoid some things. This will help offset the fact that you are at higher risk because of your parents.

I really like this lady (we are both 24). I haven't had a lot of experience so I don't know what would be a good first date. I don't know whether I should do a movie or what. I'd like some guidance, please.

Don't do a movie. You'll spend almost two hours together with no interaction between you. Dinner and/or something fun to do together is a much better idea. I always encourage some activity that allows two people to continuously interact.

I heard pot gives you better orgasms. Is that true?

Actually, current research suggests that it's true. What happens is not that it actually is improved but rather that marijuana slows the perception of time down, so it seems like orgasms are lasting longer. Edibles seems to make it even last longer.

Me and my gf got into a major almost fight over politics with her father. He is a real jerk. He started getting personal. My gf grabbed my leg to let me know I was heating up. What do I do? I really felt like telling him off.

I personally do not think you should remain quiet, but I don't think getting loud and disrespectful will accomplish anything. I would rehearse. Write down some of the things he has said, and come up with calm and logical responses. The calmer you are, the more he'll be out of control. Obviously, try not to discuss politics. You could even ask him to eliminate it.

My parents live in England. My bf's parents live in Chile. We are in the U.S. but we want to be closer to family. Any suggestions on how to resolve this? We don't argue about it. We're just kind of confused.

work out a schedule so that you can spend time with both families. Obviously, you are both close to your families, so why give any of that up. It may be hard to work out, but it will be well worth it.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years. We met right after high school. We have two wonderful kids. The problem is I'm bored. We've become like a brother sister act. Neither of us have acted out or cheated but I'm wondering how long this can last. What do we do?

You go the couples' therapy so you can learn to go back to what brought the two of you together. You have done what many couples have done. You've forgotten to keep the spark going. That's boring for all concerned.

If a girl is really into me why is she playing hard to get? Her friends tell me she wants me to ask her out but she ignores me. How do I play the game?

Simple. Don't play the game! Have some self respect, and don't go chasing someone. Ask her out. If she says no or blows you off, move on.

I'm 30. This lady I've been dating says I should try Viagra and E. She says it would be exciting. I've never had a problem so I'm not sure what to do. Yes or no?

NEVER take any drugs or medications that you do not want to take. Don't do something just to try to please someone else unless you truly want to. Consider also that you could have a bad reaction.

My gf wants a big wedding. Her parents can't afford it but my parents can. I don't think I should ask my parents. What are the rules?

Many times the parents meet to discuss things. Generally, they will be honest with each other about what they can afford. It used to be that the bride's parents usually handle the bulk of the wedding costs, but that is not necessarily the case today.

Are there ways to find out if you gf is cheating on you? I'm hearing rumors and I don't know what to believe.

If you are really that worried, you can hire a private investigator. They don't come cheap. Also, consider the source(s) of who is giving you the information and what their agenda might be. If you are suspicious, keep searching until you get the answer.

Why can't women just say what they want instead of beating around the bush? If you are hungry just say so. What's up with me having to be a mind reader? I'm not a mind reader.

I hope you enjoy being and talking with yourself because it sounds like you're going to be doing a lot of that!! Often times, women prefer a more gentle approach than the direct approach. Just be patient, and you'll both learn how to communicate with each other.

My mother found out some pretty bad stuff on my gf. I don't know whether to thank her or be pissed that she investigated her. I'm not sure what to do.

Mama bear is protecting her cub. I can understand why you might be a bit upset, but consider that your mother just saved you from a whole bunch of pain. Give her a big hug and kiss.

How do I teach my bf table manners? He's not rude but sometime its embarrassing that he doesn't know which fork to use. Other than that he's great.

There are actually classes you can do together. The people running those classes actually make it fun. Trust me that you are not the only female who would like her male to up his manners game.


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