Dr. Andrew

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My bf is trying to convince me to stop taking my anxiety meds and use weed instead. I don't know enough about it other than what I hear. He says there's good research on it. Is that true? Should I stop taking the meds my doc gave me?

Your bf is not your doctor, but he is correct with his information about weed. That being said, you should consult with your doctor before making any changes. Yes, there is good research. You should read it all before deciding.

I lost my husband over a year ago. I'm scared to date. Do you have any advice? Every time I think about it, I get freaked out.

Give yourself time, and be gentle on yourself. Try just being with a group of people first. People mourn in different ways and in different time frames. I would strongly recommend joining a grief group if you've not already done that. It will do you good to hear what others before you have done.

Me and this other guy met online. We've been going out for 4 months. My other friends keep cautioning me and asking if I've checked him out thoroughly. I thought the dating sites do that. What should I do?

Dating sites do not do a thorough background check. The best advice at this time is to go to a website that gets background information in detail. It really is a good use of money, and it will give you peace of mind one way or the other. Just because you met on a dating site does not necessarily mean there is anything wrong. Just get more information.

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About 6 months ago me and my wife separated. We were apart for about a month. Yes, I went out with someone else but I thought that was ok since I didn't think I was cheating. We got back together for the last 3 months. I never mentioned it to her but she found out and wants to separate again. WTF?

As with many couples who have separated for a period of time, the two of you never set ground rules for the separation. Obviously, she had different ideas about what separation means than you did. She may have just wanted time to think, whereas you thought you were apart, so all bets were off. The two of you need a good couples therapist to help you through this if you want your marriage to work.

I found out my gf's boss harassed her at work. I feel like going and kicking his ass. She says to let her handle it but I'm worried she'll just let it slide because she doesn't want to lose her job. How do I help her? GRRRRRRRR!

Your gf may not be ready to face this head on. Even in today's climate, people wonder why it takes so long for victims to come forward. The best thing you can do is to be as supportive as possible. Let her know you are there for her no matter what she decides. You might suggest getting some professional help.

My gf just told me she’s “non binary”. WTF does that mean? Should I break up?

It just means she does not want to be identified as either male or female.

Why does my gf always have to win the argument. Even when I prove she’s wrong she’ll never admit it. I don’t get it.

You have a preview of what your relationship will look like down the road. If your relationship is to continue, you both should see a professional to help you. Either she does not recognize what she is doing, or she recognizes it but doesn’t give a damn. Neither is a good sign. When people start keeping score in a relationship, there are no winners.

I need more info on relationships. I understand you wrote a book. Do you think that will help me.

The book is entitled Love Shopping List, the same as our app. Going by what people have said, the real stories in the book have helped answer a lot of questions. You can purchase in on amazon, Barnes & Noble, and several other places. It's an easy read, so give it a try.

My gf just got a boob job. I thought she looked good before. She’s pissed at me for not telling her how great she looks. Did I screw up by not saying something? Now what?

Your girlfriend sounds extremely insecure. She is looking for validation and attention. Actually, you handled it very well by telling her you thought she looks great either way. Turn it around by telling her that you are happy for her if it makes her happy.

How do we check out our son’s girlfriend? She has pulled some really shady moves and always has an excuse. He is truly blinded by his love for her.

There are plenty of services online that can help you check her out. You also have the option of retaining the services of a private investigator. Follow your gut. You don't say exactly what the "shady moves" are, but obviously it makes you uncomfortable. You are probably right that he is blinded, so you'll have to act as his eyes.

My gf has put on some weight. It doesn’t bother me but it REALLY bothers her. I told her I think she is beautiful no matter what. Now she’s mad at me for not telling her the truth. WTF? What can I do or say now?

Your gf is very insecure about herself. She’s looking for a fight because she’s upset … with herself. Don’t take the bait. Just tell her the most important thing to you is that she’s healthy. Then shut up. This is one of those no win situations. Just keep being supportive.

what's the best way to get a guy's attention to take you out?

The best way is to find out what he's interested in, and talk to him about it. Of course, food also works with most guys :-)

I'm 16 and in college. I'm having trouble because guys look at me as jail bait. I understand the law, but I can still go out. What do I do?

Just be yourself. You will find a young gentleman who will ask you out and treat you well. BTW, you must be smart since you're in college so young, so you'll find your way.

What if we are in love but our music tastes are completely different?

You should explore more of your likes and dislikes to make sure that you are actually compatible for a long term relationship if that is what you desire.

My partner always takes my mother's side in an argument. Is she right all the time or is he just playing it safe?

If its 100% of the time then your partner is wanting to please your mother more than he should. Remind him who HIS partner really is.

Is there any hope for a relationship based on sex? We haven't found any other common ground yet.

A relationship is all about compatibility. A successful long term relationship will be a combination of opposites with a higher percentage match of similarities.

Should I date a Facebook friend?

Be careful. It may not work out. Your relationship and its details could become very public if it ends poorly.

What do I say to my future mother-in-law when she tells me I’m a slob? It really hurts.

This is a perfect time to use an "I" statement - an action, followed by an emotion, followed by a need. "When you criticize me, it makes me upset and angry. I need you to not criticize me." Besides that, where in the hell is your future husband, and why is he not standing up for you?

If you were to write a book what would it be about?

Actually, have authored many books. Check out the Love Shopping List book 1 on Amazon, eBay, and through bookstores worldwide. It is part of an ongoing series on relationships and love. http://bit.ly/BuyTheLSLBook

What kind of place do you think is ideal for the first date? Why do you think so?

Do lunch. It casual with less expectations.

How often do you change your mobile phone?

When it is no longer compatible to everyday apps. When it will no longer run the latest operating system and still have enough memory to function.

What does it mean when a man looks at other women when he is with his girlfriend?

It may mean a lot of things. It may mean that he is not mature enough to control his visual instincts.


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