Dr. Andrew

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My friends tell me this girl in my history class really likes me. I don't know how to approach her with that. I'm happy but I don't want to get hurt.

You will have to get out of your comfort zone. It is actually not very complicated. Just go up to her and introduce yourself. That is a good start. Yes, you have a risk, but it might be worth.

When my in-laws come over they just complain about everything. My husband says that's what he grew up with and that I should just ignore it. I don't think I should ignore someone criticizing me in my own home. I'm mad at them but I'm also mad at him for not backing me. What should I do?

You have every right to expect that you not be criticized especially in your own house. If your husband is not going to stand up to his parents, then you most certainly should. Do it in a respectful fashion, but lay down firm boundaries.

How old do you think a teenager should be before going on a vacation with a boyfriend's or girlfriend's family? Our sixteen yo daughter is giving us grief for not letting her bf come with us over winter break. She says if he can't go then she's not either.

It is up to the parents in the house. Everyone has different beliefs regarding the proper age. Parents’ house, parents’ rules. A lot depends upon the culture and the religious believes of the parents.

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Is it really true that it takes decades to really cement a relationship? That just seems so long.

Social scientists have estimated that, yes, it takes decades. That doesn't mean the relationship is not good up to that point, but it just takes a very long time to iron out the inevitable differences. Like everything else worthwhile, relationships take a lot of work.

so I don't know whether to thank my bf or be upset with him for punching the jerk.

I can't say I would not do the same thing as your bf. Yes, you can stand up for yourself, but no one should be subjected to that. I know there are many who say that the physical "violence" is not the way to handle it, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut reaction.

My bf is over the top protective of me. I was standing at a party and he went to get me a drink. This other guy came over and tried to hit on me. When I politely turned him down he called me the c word. My bf heard this and knocked the guy out. I can stand up for myself so I don't know whether

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I'm a college athlete. This other guy at school started a rumor about me when our team went on the road and my girlfriend got really upset. I tried telling her it wasn't true but she's furious. I don't know whether to be pissed at this other guy (not a teammate) or her for not believing me.

If you've not given her any other reason to not trust, then SHE has issues with trust. I'm guessing you're upset with both of them and rightfully so. If she persists, get a new gf

I saw that Prince Harry is marrying a biracial woman. I'm thrilled because that's me AND my bf. What do I say to the people who are critical? They think I'm white because I'm so light skinned.

You don't need to say a thing. Look at them, smile, and don't say a word. That's a classy way to handle it. If that doesn't work, tell them that opinions are like a-holes, everybody has one.

I did your app, Love Shopping List. I think I was very honest. My boyfriend came out really high. My parents are convinced he's the wrong person. Any ideas?

If you were honest and not just filling in characteristics that your bf already has, the score is legit. BUT, listen to your parents' concerns. Then go from there.

My gf's kid sister keeps hitting on me. I don't want to cause a problem in the family so I haven't told my gf yet. I'm not sure what to say. I'd like to shut this down before things go south. Should I sit them both down together? That's what my friends are saying but it doesn't feel right.

First, talk to your gf. You don't know what other issues are involved between the two of them. She may want to handle it herself or she may want to have both of you sit down with her sis. Talk it out.

My parents think my bf is great (which he is) but his parents ignore me. I think it's because I'm a different religion. My bf says to ignore them but I can't. I don't like being around people who judge me because of my religion. Do I confront them or what?

I would not confront them because I don't think they would listen. I would tell your bf that you are no longer comfortable being around them and that he needs to deal with it.

Cont-My bf says not to give her anymore opinions but she always pushes me. What should I do?

Your bf is smart. Don't give her any more opinions. You can certainly tell her why. You are NOT her therapist and should not be put in that kind of situation.

My mother had me when she was really young (15). Now she treats me like her bff. My dad has never been in the picture. My mom asks me for my opinion when she goes out with a guy. I've told her whatever makes her happy but she insists so I told the truth with her latest. He's a POS. Now she's mad

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Can you really ever get over a cheating spouse and make a marriage work?

Yes, but several things have to take place. First, the infidelity must be addressed openly and apologized for unconditionally. Then the couple will need a strong couples therapist to guide them through. Anything less than a 100% commitment won't work.

I'm confused. My gf wants to be known as "non-binary" but she says nothing has changed between us. She still wants to be my "partner". I just told her that it was okay with me whatever she wants to do. How should I handle this?

I think you handled it well. Just be supportive of what she wants to do since she wants to stay with you anyway. She just may be somewhat confused about who she is and how she wants to conduct her life.

My gf's family is really rich. It intimidates me a lot. She is the least spoiled or entitled of anyone I know. I'd like to get past the idea. They all really treat me really good. You would never know how rich they are. What do I do?

These are your issues, not hers. I would suggest getting some professional help to get past this, otherwise you’ll wind up losing her.

Me and my boyfriend are a bit worried. Everything has gone so well it's almost scary. We've had zero disagreements. Zero! Now we're both worried that we're missing something or are in denial. Should all relationships have disagreements?

The best and strongest relationships are with those who are each other‘s best friends. Don’t let anybody tell you that relationships always have strong disagreements, because they don’t necessarily have to. Just enjoy each other.

I've been going out with this girl for 3 months. I just found out she's a closet smoker. Whatever she was doing, I never knew until I surprised her at her place. She had just smoked and stunk. I walked out. Am I being too judgmental? How do I get her to stop? She's a really neat person.

For many people smoking is a nonstarter. She may be a nice person, but you need to have a discussion with her. Let her know that you think she is very nice, but you do not like having anything to do with smokers because of thirdhand smoke, The bad stuff that gets on clothes and furniture and carpets and walls.

My mom keeps meddling in my relationships. I'm 22 and she still gives me her opinion of who I date even though I never ask. How do I shut her down? I want to respect her but it really bugs me.

The easiest way to shut it down is to not let her know who you are dating. I know that is not the way you would like it, but it will get your message through to her very quickly and efficiently.

I went over this guy's place for the first time. He never told me he had cats. I'm allergic. I had to leave. He thinks I was exaggerating. How do I get him to understand that this is dangerous for me? I thought this was disrespectful.

I would not waste your time with him. Anyone who shows that type of disrespect is not worthy of your time. He is displaying a complete lack of empathy and compassion. This indicates how he will act in the future

Our son is dating this wonderful guy. We are fully supportive of him but my mother in law is super critical. My husband is reluctant to say anything to her and says he doesn't want to ruin the relationship between her and our son. I told my husband it's already getting ruined. I'm ready to step i

If your husband won’t step in, you should. Your son needs support in this matter so that nobody makes negative comments about his relationship. People will keep saying things until somebody puts a stop to it.

Me and my bf went to a wedding. We gave a gift and both signed the card. They only sent a thank you address to my bf. I'm pissed. All they had to do was put both our names on it. I don't know if it was intentional or what. Should I say anything?

I can understand why you would be upset. That being said, I would not say anything. There is a lot going on at a wedding, and it is probably just an oversight. The next time you see them just say that you are glad they enjoyed the gift.

When do I know if I've been sexually harassed? We've gone out 3 times and IDK.

You really need to talk to a mental health care professional. Obviously, something has happened that even causes you to ask the question. My uninformed guess would be that if you are asking, you've been harassed. Get some help for yourself.

My father goes off on my bf every time my bf comes over because my father don't like his politics. I've tried to stop it but my father baits my bf and then they go at it.

It sounds like you've tried to get him to stop, but he won't. Maybe it would be a good idea for your bf not to come over for awhile. I'm not sure what your father's agenda is, but politics often elicits very strong emotions. You're not going to shut it down.

My gf says I drink too much. When I asked her how much she thinks I drink, she said I have a drink or two maybe 3-4 times/week. That's true but I don't think that's a lot. Is it?

It doesn't sound like your drinking is out of control. However, I'm always much more concerned about behaviors associated with drinking rather than just a quantity. There may be an alcoholic in her background, which would explain a lot of her concern. The two of you need to explore her alarm. She may have something or not. Only information will tell.


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