Dr. Andrew

Ask @LSLLoveAdvice

Sort by:



How do I tell my son that his girlfriend’s reputation is not what he thinks?

If you approach him directly, he won't likely listen for one of two reasons. Either your relationship isn't close enough for him to listen to you, or he is in serious denial. You can leave little "hints" around, but be careful not to have it come directly from you. If you are close to any of his friends, ask them if they know her and then ask them if they think your son might want to know. Good friends will protect him, but only if he let's them.

Is divorce always the right way?

Not always, but sometimes it's the best for everyone all the way around. Social scientists tell us that it really take decades for marriages to really get smoothed out. Many couples aren't willing to wait that long. Try getting professional help first. A good therapist will be able to give an honest evaluation of the relationship and help to mend things or to make an easier transition to breaking up.

I have been in a string of relationships with women but can’t find the right one. What’s the key?

The key is figuring out what you really want. Our app, Love Shopping List, can help you do that. That's what it was designed to do, and it's free in the Apple App Store. If you don't know what you really want, you will keep being disappointed.

Related users

How to impress a girl that acts superhard to get with?

Just be a nice guy. You shouldn't need to impress anyone. That's what usually gets guys in trouble, trying to impress girls. You'll wind up doing stupid stuff you will later regret. If she's super hard to get with, it would only last a short time anyway because she thinks she's way more important than anyone else.

My bf hit me and apologized. I’m worried I can’t trust him anymore. How do I get over this?

If he truly hit you, you may not be able to trust him again. The only way I would recommend you stay with him is if he agrees to go to counseling and learn about domestic violence. Abuser are generally repeat offenders. It most often does not just happen once. You may need professional help yourself to get over the trauma. Violence in a relationship is never easy to overcome. One of my former female patients is very petite, like five feet and nothing. She was dating a guy who hit her. Before ending it, she asked him, "Does it make you feel like a real man to hit someone half your size?" She did it in front of about five people.

A guy I really like is biracial. My parents are red necks. Please give some advice.

I assume that when you say "rednecks," you mean they are southern bigots. Other than introducing him to them and letting them find out that he is okay, they will probably continue their prejudices. Please learn from this experience and make sure such beliefs are not passed on. Hopefully, once they meet him, they will begin to appreciate your good choices.

My gf’s father puts me down whenever I’m around him. I’d like to tell him off but she says it won’t help. Is there a way I can bond with him?

He may be a jerk, or he may just be a very overprotective father. Ask your gf what her father's interests are, then research them to the point you really know what you are talking about. Remember, he will test you once you bring up the topic, so make sure you REALLY know your stuff. Don't be a wise ass about it. Just engage him in a conversation and bring up some "facts" that you found. I had a patient that tried this, and it worked so well, his gf was mad at him and her own father because the two guys spent so much time together. Whatever you do, don't try to compete with is put-downs. That will only create bigger problems for you and for your girlfriend.

I am a 16 year old girl and prefer girls to guys. I am interested in this hot girl but don’t know if she’s like me. How do I find out?

You can watch how she interacts with people. If she flirts a lot with guys, she is probably not interested in what you want. If she tends to be closer to females, you could try just being physically close to her and interacting with her. As strange as it may sound, it's really no different than you were interested in a guy and how you'd go about getting his attention. Just try being a friend first. It's something you will become better at with more time.

My husband thinks we should have separate bank accounts. Does this make sense?

As long as you are each co-signers on each others' accounts, this is okay. Many couples have separate bank accounts. It really depends on the set up being okay with both of you. On the other hand, if he insists that the accounts are separate without you having access, something is very wrong. What's he hiding or trying to control? Too many times spouses, most commonly wives, are left in the dark when it comes to finances. Definitely not a good, healthy situation for a marriage. The whole idea of marriage is to have a partner to share everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Ask any family law attorney, and they will tell you that separate with co-signatures is fine, but not without full access to the account and information about where the money is going to or coming from.

I've liked this guy for a long time, and I told one of my friends. Things were really good, and at dances he was asking me to dance, and it still is, but she keeps on inviting him places, and flirting with him. She also touches him a lot, and it makes me really mad. What should I do?

Pepper And Jackie Cheese Yo✌️
This is very similar to several questions asked in the past. With friends like this you really don't need any enemies. You need to tell her to back off in whatever style of communication is familiar to both of you. She is competing with you. Since he is not your bf and just shows some interest, she probably does not see anything wrong with going after him, too. No need for a cat fight. You also may have to accept that he is showing her the same level of attention that he gives to you. If that's the case, may the best competitor win. All is fair in love and war!!

My friends think I’m weird because I’m a virgin at 18. They think I might be gay. Is that possible? Girls tend to like to be "friends" with me but nothing else.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at 18 or any other age if that's your choice. The fact that you haven't had a lot of dating experience with girls does not make you gay. Nothing "makes" you gay. If anyone is gay, they are born that way. It sounds like you are a nice, sensitive male, and females like you for that. Just give it a bit more time. Don't fall for the pseudo-macho idea that you have to go out and score or you are gay. That's just bullshit.

Do dating sites really work?

More and more relationships get there start from dating sites. So let's just say they improve your odds. If you are in a relationship that started that way, you would say, yes, they really work. If you haven't had any luck from those sites, you would say, no, they don't work.

Is dating really that different around the world?

Not to confuse you, but yes and no. Relationships are part of what makes us human, so dating exists all over. But different cultures have different rules and traditions surrounding dating and the definition of dating including arranged marriages. While that might not sit well with most, it is still a fact. If you plan to date your way around the world, you had better learn the customs and traditions so that you don't upset anyone. Dishonoring a woman or a family can get you in very serious trouble in certain parts of the world.

My bf goes commando a lot and it bugs me. What do I say to him?

The first question to be answered is why it bugs you. In some crowds it's perfectly acceptable. If it bothers you, you need to tell him and tell him why. Assuming that he wears pants, why would anyone but you take great notice unless he's hung like a horse? You may be one of many people who thinks it's totally classless, but then he's your boyfriend. See if there is anything else he does that bugs you almost as much. If there is, it's probably time to change boyfriends.

I’m an 18 yo guy. Is it proper to bring a gift like flowers when I ask a girl out?

Not only is it proper, but you are that rare breed of true gentlemen. Despite all the well-deserved equality, women still like polite and romantic gestures. You can never go wrong with flowers (as long as she's not allergic). If she lives at home, bring some for her mother, too. It sounds corny, but it's always good.

My gf started scarf n barf. Who do I tell? I think she needs an intervention.

Your girlfriend has a very serious and potentially deadly eating disorder. If you are young, tell her parents or a school counselor. If you are a bit older, ask a mental health professional for help. Since you stated that she just started, you may be able to catch it before it really escalates. You need to know that you did nothing to cause this and, most importantly, you cannot fix this. Eating disorders are hard to treat even for professionals.

How do I get my mother in law to stop interfering in our lives?

You mean monster-in-law? Few things can wreck a marriage faster than an intrusive mother-in-law. You and your partner have to sit down and come to a meeting of the minds about her. Boundaries have to be set. I assure you that if the two of you don't put a stop to it, things will get worse. Most importantly, they will probably get worse between the two of you because of your resentment. Don't let that happen. She respectfully has to be put in her place, and if she has a hissy fit, so be it. I was fortunate. I had a great mother-in-law, and my wife an my mother were great together. In fact, if I got out of hand, my wife would call my mother, and I would get it from both barrels. If you can, and it sounds like it might be next to impossible, try to include her in some things. You will be surprised at how that might work. If it doesn't, you didn't lose much ground. In any case, get it resolved.

View more

I keep making bad mistakes in men. Is my chooser broken?

Sounds like you have never really taken the time to figure out what you really want. Your "chooser" isn't broken. It just needs to be reprogrammed. Our app is designed to help you, and since it's free, let it do the work. You've been wounded so many times that now you are doubting yourself, probably on any relationship at all. You have to love yourself enough to take care of yourself and not be mistreated. Relationships should not be like a game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey with a blindfold and all. You should know pretty much exactly what you want, make sure that that man has it, and then, and only then, go for it. Insanity-doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results.

I am recently divorced and only 24. How long do I have to wait before dating again?

Long enough for the ink to dry on the divorce paper! It is really up to you. Most people need some time for the emotional wounds to heal, but there is no assigned waiting period. Divorces can and usually do take a big toll on a person, and most people aren't ready to jump back into a relationship. You need time to think through what went wrong so you don't make the same mistake(s) again with regard to a partner. We have had quite a number of divorced people use our app, Love Shopping List, just for the purpose of not making the same mistakes twice. You are young and have a full life ahead of you. Take some time to think through all that was wrong and what your really want in a relationship. The best advice I can give you is that when you are reasonably confident you've nailed that down, then go out there and get 'em.

View more

My bff’s bf is on a dating site. Do I tell her?

So ask yourself this question, "If my boyfriend were on dating sites and my best friend knew about it, would I want her to tell me?" Most people answer, "Yes." There have been many friendships lost because someone did not tell a good friend what was going on, but sometimes it backfires because of denial. The person does not want to hear that a boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on them. Sometimes they turn around and call you a liar and a shit stirrer. Eventually, when they learn the truth they usually come back to apologize. I had that happen to me! My best friend who was suppose to be our best man had a girlfriend from hell and messed him over. I told him about it, and he didn't speak to me for 10 years. But now we are like brothers. When we got together (he married and divorced her), he asked me why I didn't grab him by the collar and slap him upside the head. I told him I would have if I thought it would have done any good. We still laugh about it 35 years later, and he's married to a real sweetheart. Your friend may not like it or appreciate it now, but she will thank you down the line.

View more

There's this guy in my school that i really like.One day me and my "best friend"were talking about who we like&his name popped up and i said i liked him a lot.She kept telling me that he's cute&nice but such a player and stuff. A week later he told me he liked her & they started dating. What do i do

Well, you said it best when you put "best friend" in quotation marks. Actually, you should send her a thank you card if he really is a player. She just saved you a whole bunch of aggravation and grief. When you are REALLY friends, there is kind of an unwritten rule that you don't go after what your friend is after until your friend gives you a green light. Rather than have a cat fight with her, be the bigger person and -- BITCH SLAP HER! -- Oops! did I just say that? No, seriously, just walk away from the negativity and know that true friends don't do that to friends.

The girl that I am absolutely and positively in love with loves Alabama and considers herself a princess. The front license plate of her care even says Bama Princess. So for Christmas I got her a Alabama shirt, an Alabama sun block thing for her car, a fancy dangly pair of earrings, and a princess t

She may be overwhelmed by your "love". She may also have a boyfriend. Proceed with caution.

Is it possible to create multiple comparisons with the Love shopping List app? I have a few people that I want to rate.

With our premium version of the app you absolutely can create multiple comparisons and save all of them. In fact, it has really helped quite a number of people choose among people they are dating. You can save all the details about each person. Since you also have a cloud account with the premium version, you'll be able to see these comparisons over time and never have to worry about losing them

I need you to confirm that I'm in love. I know for a fact I've never felt this way before. Everytime I look at her, I see everything I could ever want in life. She makes me smile without even trying. She is absolutely beautiful inside and out. I couldn't imagine my life without her. I could go on an

It certainly sounds like you have been struck by all the makings of love. It also sounds like you've already done your own personal list of love needs, which is great. I can't confirm that you are really in love. Only you can do that, but it will take a bit of time. True love stands the test of time and is not just a passing fancy. Your description is absolutely great. It's the kind of thing that poets and songwriters try to capture. Be patient with both of you and see what develops.

Is there really a book that tells you about manners?

There are quite a few. Manners are important because they are part of how others will judge you, and please don't tell us you don't care how others judge you. A person with poor manners is looked upon as uneducated and unrefined regardless of any other characteristics. So, yes, you need to know which fork to use for what. Yes, you need to keep your elbows off the table and your napkin on your lap. And yes, you need to say please and thank you. You need to do all these and more unless you have some secret desire to look like a moron. And BTW, if you have children, they should learn manners at a very early age.


Language: English