Dr. Andrew

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My partner said he would like to start dating women and is no longer sure he is gay. How do I handle this?

Other than having your feelings very hurt, there's really not a lot you can do. Your partner is not sure of his sexuality. This is a huge obstacle in your relationship. If you are still interested in him, you are going to have to allow him the space to figure this out. The other choice is to tell him that you understand and then move on to someone who is not going through such indecision. Your partner is conflicted. It doesn't mean you have to be.

When is an age difference too big to succeed?

There is no specific number. The only thing to say is that significant age differences mean two people are not at the same stage of life. This doesn't mean it can't work. It just means there are more obstacle to overcome. Certainly later in life age differences become less relevant. When people are really young, e.g. 18 or so, it is much more important. Often it becomes more of a parent-child type of relationship, which means when the "child" grows up, there are going to be big problems. Ultimately, it comes down to what works for two people and how they handle the obstacles they will face.

We go out with my gf’s parents all the time. We really like their company. Some of our friends say this is really weird and we need to get a life. Is this really not a good thing?

Your friends need to get a life. You are telling me that you both enjoy going out with her parents. If it occurs often, that means her parents also enjoy going out with the two of you. It's a bit odd in adolescent years, but it's a sign of a close family later on. You still should have a peer social group because as her parents age (assuming you will be together), it will become less likely they will do the same things the two of you do. In close families often times generations do fun things together.

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My bf is good almost all the time. Lately, he has been really verbally attacking. When I ask him what’s wrong, he tells me nothing and that its all in my head. I keep thinking maybe he’s onto someone else. How do I find out?

It sounds like there is something definitely going on with him. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions until you have facts. It could be any number of things. Tell him that the only reason you are asking is that you care about him and want to make sure he's okay. Sometimes guys aren't really good at expressing hurt, and it comes out as anger. Ask him if he'd be willing to go to talk with someone because you value your relationship with him and want to straighten this out. Be patient to a point. If it keeps up, you are going to have to make some hard choices.

My friends tell me I treat my girlfriend too good. They say I’m spoiling her and it will wind up hurting me. I love her so I don’t see a problem. Are they right and am I being stupid?

As long as your gf is appreciative, and it works for the two of you, the only one's that have a problem are your friends. This sounds like the old male mentality that women like a a badass that treats them rough. There is absolutely nothing wrong, and there is everything right with treating your partner really well. The best relationships are those in which both partners treat each other with dignity and respect as well as doing things for each other.
Liked by: R I D A ✌

Do males and females really have different brains?

Actually, yes they do while the female brain is slightly smaller, the connections between the two halves of the brain are much more dense. The female brain is much better equipped to use both the logical side and the emotional side together when making decisions. nuclear imaging confirms these differences. In addition the emotional center of the brain, the amygdala, is much larger in a female.

My gf’s mother keeps hitting on me. What can I do to stop this without my gf freaking out?

You can mention to your gf that you've noticed how touchy feely her mother is and then gauge your gf's reaction. This may not be the first time it's happened. It definitely is something you should discuss with your gf to figure out a way to handle it. I would suggest seeking some professional guidance on this so that the matter is handled in such a way that no one's feeling get hurt.
Liked by: stephanie

Can you really get pregnant without having sex?

Yes, you can really get pregnant without having intercourse. When the sperm are deposited close to the vagina at the right time of the month, they are perfectly capable of swimming long distance.

My father wants to marry my boyfriend's mother! I'm freaked out! I think this is way too much closeness. I don't know what to do. What if my boyfriend and I don't work out? This is more than awkward. I think its a nightmare in the making.

It could be, but it call also be a really good and fun thing. If you have similar characteristics to your father, and your boyfriend has similar characteristics to his mother, it's no wonder they are attracted just as the two of you are. Granted, it's weird, and, yes, it does have the potential to be a big problem, but it doesn't sound like there's much you can do about it right now, so just ride along.

Recently I haven't been attracted to any guys whatsoever any guy that talks 2 me I don't FEEL ANYTHING yet there's a girl that has my attention like my feelings for her are weird I care about what happens to her and when I watch her play her sport I pay close atten. Idk if I'm turning lesbian /:

You may not be turning at all. You may just be exploring your sexuality. This is not as uncommon as most people think. Try to stay in touch with your feelings. They will guide you to whatever lays ahead. In the meantime just go with what happens and don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. Be happy with whomever you are.

What should I do if one of my friends has a crush on the guy I like but I just happen to know he's interested in me?

It depends on which relationship is most important to you. If you are really solid friends, you could sit down with her and discuss the problem.

There's this boy that I have a crush on and we've been friends for 4 years but he sends me mixed signals he says he misses me and then when we have class together he does anything to make me laugh but theres the times when he flirts with other girls in front of me so how do I tell if he likes me?

Just because he acknowledges other women does not mean he is necessarily looking elsewhere. Your question has some hidden jealousy in it. If he keeps coming back to you without seriously engaging another female, you have your answer.
Liked by: Emma

My bf’s parents are evangelicals. If we even hold hands they freak out. My parents are okay with us. I’m wondering if I should just break up with him and if that would be better for both of us.

You don't say how your bf reacts to his parents. You have to realize that if the relationship gets more serious, you will have to deal more with his parents. This is definitely something the two of you need professional help with. I would strongly suggest you seek help that will make the two of you more comfortable.

Me and this girl are going together. Everybody at school knows about us (I’m a coed too). The problem is that me an her haven’t told our parents. Both of us are worried that they will pull financial support & then we r screwed. We went to a school shrink and she said we need to tell our parents.

What to school shrink should have done is to refer you to either a counselor familiar with such issues or refer you to a local LGBT organization that can help guide you through you difficulties in a way that is supportive an helpful.

Our buddy has broken up with his gf now about 5 times. We even tease him about it. We tried talking to him but he just says they have a few things to iron out. Is there a way to help him? We are friends with her too so it makes it awkward when they are apart.

Your buddy needs to figure out what he wants. Our app, Love Shopping List, will help him do just that. They keep breaking up because there is something missing in their relationship, and neither of them has identified what it is. Bad recipe. Don't preach to him. That won't work and will only push him away. Let him discover it on his own.

My bf smokes pot. I don’t. I don’t want to be with someone who uses all the time. He says to take a look at states like Colorado where everyone is smoking out. He says I should chill. I’m confused. Is he right?

You need to do what you are comfortable with. What he's doing may be right for him, but it sounds like it's not right for you. Drug use, even marijuana is a personal decision but not one that should be imposed on others, especially in a relationship.

I like this girl at school and I think she likes me but I can’t really tell. My friends just say to ask her. I’m a little shy so that’s real hard for me. Her friends have told me she thinks I’m cute. Is that a signal?

Yes, that's a signal. Just hang around with her and start by being a friend. If something is going to develop, it will happen without too much effort. Some of the best relationships start out as just being good friends.

How do I get my little sis (okay, she’s 19) to realize she’s hanging with a loser? He mooches of her and let’s her pay for a lot of things. I’d actually like to beat the shit out of the guy for treating her badly. He also puts her down a lot.

There's a saying - Love is blind. This is a perfect example. You might try this subtle approach. Download our app, Love Shopping List (it's free), and use it for you. Then show her what you found about you. Out of curiosity she will be interested in doing it on him. If she's honest, she will get the message. Otherwise, you just have to sit back. If it gets out of hand, say something to him privately about putting her down. Sometimes we can't keep people we care about from making mistakes. Hopefully, she'll learn.

My bf and me are living in an apartment at school. He decided to drop out for this semester but won’t tell his parents who are paying for half the apartment. He says because he thinks they owe it to him & he will get back in school in the fall. I told him I think it’s like stealing. Should I tell?

Here's what you should and shouldn't do. You should NOT tell his parents. That's a relationship between his parents and him. You SHOULD get a new bf. The fact that he feels he is owed this is a big indicator of his selfish thought process, one that he will eventually use on you. Drop him quickly, and don't look back.

My gf’s bff came to visit us and is staying with us. She brings a different guy every night. I said this really bugs me, but my gf just said that’s the ways she is and to let it go. This makes me really uncomfortable. What do I do?

There's really nothing right now since her friend is already there. You should definitely discuss this for next time. Your house belongs to both of you, and neither of you should be made to feel uncomfortable. Her bff is not using respect to guide her behavior.

How do I let a guy know I'm interested in him in a subtle way?

Unfortunately, my gender does not do subtle very well. We often need a two by four between the eyes to pay attention. Here's what you might try. Find out what he's interested in and do something with that. As an example, if he likes football, get him a small toy football and sign it. If something like that doesn't work, try something like straightening out his shirt. This is all corny, but at least it's more subtle than just walking up and kissing him and saying, "Get the message?"

Please help I am EXCRUTIATINGLY ticklish but I am a boy! its soooo embarrassing:( what are girls going yo think?

Most females I know do not consider being ticklish as a positive or negative. I wouldn't worry about it. It's not a make it or break it for any relationship.
Liked by: Emma

Should I date more than one person at a time? It seems like that is cheating.

There is a difference between dating and going together. If it's truly just dating, there's nothing wrong with going out with others as long as both of you understand that. If your idea of dating involves more than just casual encounters, then you will have to make a choice if that behavior fits into what you are comfortable with.

I am a female and I was going with this other girl before I went away to college. I got a bf at college. When I was home I cheated on him with my old gf. I really want to be with him now and realize that. What do I do?

First, it's not unusual for young adults to experiment with their sexuality. That being said, cheating is cheating regardless of the gender. If you are close to your bf and have a good relationship, you should be honest with him because more often than people realize the word gets back to people. If he's going to hear it, better it come from you than in a round about way. Your bf may be upset, naturally, but explain that you don't want secrets in your relationship.

I just got back to school after the winter break. I realized when I was home that I really don’t want to be in a relationship with my bf. I was in it only because I didn’t want to be lonely. I don’t want to hurt his feelings because he got me such a nice Christmas gift. How do I handle this?

Regarding the relationship, you need to be honest with him. It's not good for either of you if one of you is not interested anymore. It will only get ugly quickly. Your reason for being in a relationship is not a good one. You were in a relationship out of desperation. Don't do that. As far as the gift, I can only give you the male perspective. When you have "the talk" with him, return it. Ladies, feel free to jump in if you disagree.


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