Dr. Andrew

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I heard you could have sex at a certain time of the month and not get pregnant. Is that true?

Yes and no. There is a method of birth control called the rhythm method. It involved trying to have sex only at certain times in order to avoid getting pregnant. Do you know what they call a couple who practices the rhythm method? They call them PARENTS. Technically it takes a woman's egg 12-24 hours to leave the ovary and enter the uterus. That's called ovulation. The egg must be impregnated during that time. Sperm can last 3 days in that warm, moist environment, so we'll call that 3 days. The "normal" female cycle is 28 days with ovulation occurring in the middle. But in reality every woman is slightly different. So unless you are interested in gambling every month, consider using some real form of birth control.
Liked by: Satan's Son

My husband’s father was a womanizer. I’m worried he might think it’s okay. How do I address this with him?

Unfortunately, your husband had a role model that was less than ideal. Your husband may be in conflict. On one hand he may know that his father's behavior was not appropriate. Yet, on the other hand, he may not want to appear disloyal to his father even if it's just in his own mind. Try bringing up your concerns in a supportive way. He may need professional help to work through the issues. By your question, you are also worried he may do the same thing. Address this sooner than later before it gets out of hand.

I just found out my dad is gay. I have a girlfriend, but I’m afraid I might be gay and hurt her. What do I do?

Just because your dad is gay does not mean you are. It's sounds like you're a bit confused. Two things you should do. First, talk openly and honestly to your gf if the two of you are really close. Express your concerns. Second, contact your local LGBT organization. It doesn't make any difference what your sexual orientation is. They are a wonderful source of information on all aspects relating to your concerns. Trust me, you are not the only one who has ever experienced this. The more you know, the more comfortable you will be with yourself and in your relationship.

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Our niece (17) wants to use our house as a safe house because she know that my sister will not let her bring her boyfriend into her bedroom. How should I handle this?

Handle it as a parent. Your niece is not your bff. She's a 17 year old who is pushing the limits. Think about what message you will be sending your niece if you let this happen. I have a close relationship with all my nieces, and there are things they tell me that I don't pass on. That being said, I still act as the adult uncle and the voice of reason. How would you feel if your sister let one of your children (if you have any yet) do the same thing and did not tell you? I doubt you would be pleased. Obviously, your niece isn't going into a room to discuss her stamp collection with her bf. Are you prepared to deal with the consequences if anything happens?

Why is the toilet seat so important that it has to be a certain way?

I've addressed this before, but I'm happy to address it again. It's much more important to a female because she needs to sit down. If you're a guy, you can pee with the seat up (preferably) or down (if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie). If you want to see all hell break loose, leave the seat up at night, and wait to see what happens when she gets up in the middle of a dark night to use the toilet. This is not a control issue, guys. It's a respect issue.

I get off work at midnight & I don’t want to talk when I get back to our apartment. I’ve told her I’m tired but she don’t listen. ??

You could certainly look at it as her not listening, but you might want to rethink what she is doing. Think about this. Your gf is waiting up for you until midnight because she cares about how your day went. Would you rather she didn't care and ignore you. Try giving her five minutes of your time with no sign of resentment. You're lucky you are in a relationship with someone who cares about you. That should never get old. Females generally connect by talking. Give a little on this one, my friend.

My gf and her friends won’t shut up during football games when me an my friends are watching. How do I make her understand?

If your girlfriend and her friends are not sports fanatics, they won't realize what they are doing. They will look at it as just another social event. I mentored Craig Bender through his writing of a book entitled Sports Fan 101. It was written for exactly the reason you are asking. I guarantee you that anger or disrespect will get you nowhere. You just need to explain that while you understand the games are not that important to her, and that's okay, they are important to you and your friends. I had the exact thing happen in the middle of a touchdown run during the last Superbowl. The wife portion of our couples friend presented us with a bowl of chips by standing right in front of us. I waited for a commercial and politely explained it to her. She apologized to everyone, and it hasn't happened since.

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How do I get my boyfriend to understand I am not one of the guys and he needs to treat me like a lady?

You need to tell him how it makes you feel when you are not treated in a way that makes you comfortable. As an example, if he doesn't open a door for you when you would expect it, don't open it yourself. Just wait until he asks you why you aren't coming. You can respond that you were waiting for him to open the door. Since you have tried verbal communication, but it hasn't worked, give some non-verbal communication a try. It's a matter of explaining things to him in a manner that he understands. Other women have "trained" him that he doesn't need to treat women as ladies. He needs to know there's a new sheriff in town!

My buddy is a coach at a local high school. There is a cheerleader who is 18, and he wants to take her out. He says it’s ok because she’s 18. Is he right?

Absolutely WRONG. She is still a student. He could easily lose his job and his teaching credential. Tell your buddy to start thinking with his big head and not his little head!! Your buddy needs some help. My guess is that the cheerleader is not the only one he has thought about.

Is it all right if I have a crush on a bisexual guy? I'm too attracted to him.

The fact that he is bisexual is really not an issue if you don't mind competition. Relationships are relationships no matter the sexual preferences involved. The most important thing is that you are happy with whomever you are in a relationship with. If you are comfortable with his sexual preferences, then it should matter.

I don’t have an iPhone so I used my friend’s list for your app. Does it still work?

Each of us has a different list of characteristics and priorities of what we are looking for in a relationship. As close as you and your friend are, your lists won't be identical, and your comparison and rating of anyone you are dating won't be accurate. We will have an Android version in the future, so maybe that will help.

I found out my fiancee’ cheated on me so I called off the wedding. I think the gifts should be returned to people but she says she’s keeping them. I’m considering suing her because I’m so pissed at her disrespect for others. Should I?

I certainly understand your upset. Unfortunately, legally she does not have to return gifts, so bringing about a lawsuit will not result in her returning the gifts. On the other hand, if you don't mind spending the time and some money, it would be a great way to show your displeasure in her actions. You are wanting to do the right thing, but regrettably her action of cheating on you goes hand in hand with her being selfish enough to keep the gifts. Consider yourself lucky to find out and be able to get out of marrying this person. Take the time to write to each of the people nice enough to send gifts. They will appreciate it.
Liked by: Satan's Son

I’m single. My pastor keeps coming on to me, but he’s married. What do I do?

I absolutely DETEST people (usually men) in positions of trust and authority that try to take advantage of others. With someone in the position of pastor, it sometimes makes it difficult for individuals to confront bad behavior. Somehow people see clergy as being closer to G-d, and confronting them would be like confronting G-d. Not So!! You need to go to the leaders of your church with objective information and not just feelings then, using them as support, you all need to confront him. Understand that right now you are not his first, and, unless something changes, you won't be his last. In my humble opinion the man has spiritually violated you and needs to have consequences for his actions.
Liked by: Darkpupil

Why is the rating so low for my comparison? My boyfriend didn't have characteristic 2 & 3 & 11 but he matched 12 out of 15.

Based on years of experience in relationships when we created theLove Shopping List app, we created an algorithm, a number assignment, to the different positions on your priority list. The ones at the top are weighted much more heavily than the ones at the bottom, meaning they are much more important to you. It's not just an issue of how many he has. It's a matter of which ones he has based on YOUR priority.

I’m dating two guys & I like both of them. How do I figure out which one to keep?

Great question! Our Love Shopping List app is designed to do exactly what you are asking. It helps you figure out what characteristics are really important to you and then helps you prioritize them so you can compare both guys to YOUR list. Then you can see how they really match up. It's free at the Apple app store, so give it a try and let us know what you think.
Liked by: Darkpupil

I smoke pot every night & have since we were dating. My wife says she will leave me if I don’t stop because of our kids. How do I tell her she’s wrong?

What you are basically saying is that your pot is more important than your wife. I can not begin to tell you the number of times I have worked with adolescents doing drugs (and, yes, pot is a drug) who tell me either they have smoked out with a parent and/or they have gotten their drugs from a parent's stash. The choice to smoke or not smoke out is one of the rights you have as an adult. So, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? My guess is there are many more issues in your marriage than just pot.
Liked by: Darkpupil

I have a good thing going with my gf but I also have a bf and I love both. Do you think it would work out if I introduced the two? I'm 27 and male.

As a bisexual (maybe you don't like the label, but that's what you are saying) you are not any different than anyone else in a relationship. It would be like seriously dating two girls who didn't know about the other and then introducing them. I doubt it would go over well. If you want to stay with your gf, do so. If you want to be in a relationship with your bf, do so. I'm not interested in your sexual preferences as much as I want you to have a good, solid relationship.

My best friend and me are both 36 with 2 kids each. Her husband is dicking around with another woman. Should I tell my friend?

This is always a difficult decision, but the question I would ask you is would you like to know. You could wind up in a "shoot the messenger" scenario, where your best friend gets upset with you. My personal opinion is that best friends protect each other. If you are going to tell her, think about how you are going to do that. Make sure you start by explaining how important she is to you and in your life and how hard the decision was to sit down with her. Make sure your information is not second hand hearsay, even though it may be true. Your friend may already know something was up, but she may doubt you to start. Love really does make us blind in many cases. Your heart is in the right place, and you are a good friend for wanting to protect her.
Liked by: Darkpupil

@Kyungchii: @apppowergroup #drandrew Is it alright if you entertain/date a guy who is 26 & your only 18?

At your stated ages it really depends on both of you. A mature 18 yr old female is perfectly capable of dating a 26 yr old male. At 18 you are an adult. You have both privileges and responsibilities. Take them both seriously. The age gap gets less significant the older we get. The only concern I have in such situations is when someone your age is about to go away to college, while the other person either has not gone to school, or is already out in the work force. I don't like to see young people tied down by self-made obligations and not be able to really enjoy young adulthood.

Every time I go over to my gf’s house her father comes out with racist remarks at the dinner table. How do I stop it? Should I confront him?

You and your gf need to have a serious talk about what it means to you. You don't want to put her into a situation where she is forced to choose between you and her father. It should upset her, too. If it doesn't, then you have to consider the deeper meaning of what is happening because things will come out in the future that may create huge conflicts between the two of you. If there's any chance you can talk to him directly, that would be ideal. My guess is that if he says that kind of stuff, he'll probably tell you to get the f--k out of his house if you don't like what he says. That would be a great opportunity for you as a couple to demonstrate how upsetting his comments are by taking him up on his offer.
Liked by: Darkpupil

Should I have two relationships at the same time?

Deep relationships require a lot of work. If you are just talking about dating, and you make the "rules" clear, why not have several relationships. If you're a guy, they'll call you a stud. If you're a girl, they'll call you a slut. :-) Sucks, but some things won't ever change (okay, where are all my liberal feminists to slap me upside the head for saying that?). One thing I would do is to clarify what the word "relationship" really means to you, and be honest with yourself. Most people consider being monogamous, being with only one person, as a true sign of a deep relationship. Others are not that strict. It really is up to you.

My best friend is going out with my ex and I’m pissed. What do I do?

There is an unwritten rule about good friends dating each others' ex's. The problem is there is no consistency to the length of time that is supposed to pass before the dating takes place. If you're pissed, it's probably because you had a bad break-up and want to extract "revenge" from your ex (sounds a bit junior highish, doesn't it). Your friend dating your ex means your ex will be having fun, which, of course, eats you up. If you really don't like your ex, you should send your friend a thank you for taking your ex off your hands. Don't worry, in time you'll learn to live with it. Besides, since you are friends, you probably have the same likes and dislikes, which means it's only a matter of time until your friend breaks up with your ex too.

Does your app's cloud backup have a monthly or yearly fee? Other backup services charge subscription fees.

No, there are no hidden fees with Love Shopping List. There is a one time fee of $4.99 (U.S.) for the fremium version, and the cloud account comes with that. We are aware that others charge a subscription fee, but we wanted more people to enjoy the app.

I'm dating three guys and I really need to save my comparisons in the LSL app. I want to be able to see them in a list with their photos.

This is easy. You already have the free version of Love Shopping List. All you need to do is register and purchase the fremium version for a one time fee of $4.99 (U.S.). You will be able to save all your comparisons and as many pics as you wish. Plus once you register there are many more advantages. When you get to the final screen and tap on Save, just tap on Register, and the app will guide you through the process. No one likes losing their comparisons after all the work that has been put in.

Our culture does no allow dating, but we have been seeing each other secretly. How do I break the news?

This truly depends on your culture AND where you reside. In certain places on this earth both of you could be severely punished, even put to death. If it's just simply the culture, you may want to gather the family together with the two of you and talk. Regardless of how hard this may sound, it's better coming from you than from someone else. If there is an "elder" you feel you can trust, try talking with her/him for advice. Often time that person can mediate the situation for the younger generation.


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