Dr. Andrew

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My bf got out of rehab. I'm worried he will go back to using even though he says he won't. Can addicts really stay clean?

The simple answer is "yes," but it takes a lot of work. He needs to make sure he's involved in a program and keep going ... yes, probably forever. Otherwise, he becomes vulnerable to relapse.

Me and my husband go on vacations together but we also like going on separate vacations. Why do people question our loyalty to each other?

Simple. Opinions are like a-holes. Everyone has one. They feel everyone is entitled to their opinion even if it's not requested.

Can I really trust the online companies that investigate people. I'm dating this guy but I want to know if he's the real deal.

Like many things, you get what you pay for. Select a medium to high company, and you will get a thorough investigation.

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My parents got on my case because my gf does not agree with their political views. It causes HUGE fights. Do you have any suggestions?

Keep them apart!! That's the best solution. If it starts up, remove both of you from the scene.

My gf puts herself down because she does not come from the same socio-economic place I do. It makes no difference to me. How do I get her to realize I love her for who she is and not for her money status?

All you can do is to keep emphasizing that it makes no difference to you and that you love her no matter what. Some short-term therapy with her might help.

If dating someone should I insist on seeing health records for things like STD's? I keep obsessing on this. I'm willing to share all of my records.

In this day and age you have every right and good reason to ask if you are going to be sexually active with the individual. It's dating smart.

Is there any way to tell the difference between love and lust? Some say there is no difference. I'm confused.

There is definitely a difference. Lust is temporary and driven by sexual desire. Love is so much more.

My gf is trans. People ask me how I can do that. IDK what to answer. Is there a proper answer for this?

Nothing. You answer nothing. You don't need to explain anything to anyone.

My gf vapes. I've tried to show her the research but she says it's just another bs thing to control us. What do I say?

Your gf is putting her vaping ahead of both of you. Time for an ultimatum.

My bf mad a "tape" of us without me knowing. He said it's just for us and has not sent it out but now I don't trust him. What do I do?

First, you demand the tape and any copies. Second, you kick him to the curb. He is not to be trusted.

We're married one year. My husband wants kids but I don't. We don't know how to resolve this. Help!!

You ABSOLUTELY need professional help before your marriage spirals out of control. Don't wait.

I'm a 19 yo female. My friends are telling me hook ups are pretty normal. I'm not comfortable with that but I also don't want to go out and be weird. What do I tell them?

You simply say you're not comfortable, and leave it at that. Stay true to yourself.

Why can women walk arm in arm and just be friends but men can't? Isn't that sexist or homophobic or ????

It's cultural. Many other cultures around the world have no difficulty with men walking arm in arm. I walked arm in arm with my father. Some gave odd looks, but I did not care. Be your own person.

My friend is from another country. He's been in the U.S. for about a year. He calls everyone "sexy". The other day some girl went off on him and now he is totally confused. What should we tell him?

Cross cultural issues occur all the time. Just sit with him and explain the message. English is probably his second language, so he may not understand what he's actually communicating.

I'm dating a guy who's a bodybuilder. My friends say he's just narcissistic. What do I tell them?

Your friends do not understand bodybuilding. It's a sport. All athletes have a certain degree of narcissism, or they would not be good athletes.

My gf says she doesn't like surprises but I want to throw a surprise party for her 30th. Do I listen to her or just do it?

Take it from experience. JUST DO IT!! She'll wind up loving it and it will be a memorable occasion.

My bf is going into the military. Some people are giving me a hard time about him being in the military. I'm upset. What do I say?

Shame on them. Tell them that. They don't deserve a friend like you.

We are two women who love to be with each other but we are not romantically involved. Why do people not believe us and what do we do to prove it?

You don't have to do anything. It's their problem. People make assumptions. As the saying goes, "When you ASSUME, you make an ass out of U and Me.

My bf smokes way too much weed. He says it helps him relax. I've told him I don't like that he does that much but he doesn't change. ???

Give him an ultimatum. It's you or the weed.

My dad and my bf almost got in a fight over politics. My dad is ultra right and he always starts it. My bf wont back down. How do I stop this?

You need to sit them both down and tell them they are not to discuss politics. There's no other way to do it.

Me and this girl are like 4th or 5th cousins. We really love each other. Does that make it weird?

That's distant enough to not worry about anything.

How old is too old to get married? My grandma is 82 and wants to marry this 85 yo guy. Why?

Why not!! Let them be happy!!

I am in love with a coworker. We are both single. Company policy says no relationships. Can they do that?

You'd have to talk to an employment attorney to get the best answer. You can't stop human nature and love. Nor should anyone else.

I'm dating two guys. How do I figure out which one I keep?

Try using our app, Love Shopping List. It won't make the decision for you, but it will definitely help you make the best choice.

I keep trying to explain that my gay relationship is not very different than a straight relationship. Are there any good ways to explain that?

First, people are either open to understanding, or they're not. Relationships are pretty much the same - gay or straight. Also, stop trying to explain!


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